第34节
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小新一句惊世骇俗的＂假冒伪劣＂让由飞重振男士雄风，他谄媚般地冲小新欠欠身，巴结的表情溢于言表：＂小新，哪天你结婚我一定给你送份儿大礼！＂
韩冬俨然一副小新老公的神态：＂你准备送啥样的大礼啊？＂
郝五自知刚才说错了话，如梦方醒，抢着说：＂由飞的大礼那一定比火车头还大！＂
由飞拿郝五没办法，他一会儿白眼珠子多一会儿黑眼珠子多，跟憋了尿似的笑不得也哭不得.
郝五接着弥补过错，向韩冬敬酒：＂等你跟小新结婚那天我也得给你们送份厚礼！＂又转头看着我跟老k：＂别着急，我也给你俩弄一份儿！＂
我跟老k面面相觑，我冲郝五做了一个最标准的辱骂姿势――在确定他没有看到情况下.
小新拍拍我的腿，轻咳一声：＂我们结婚还早着那，没谱儿的事儿，诶，咱得分清主次啊，今儿可是由飞的大喜日子，咱得都多敬由飞两杯！＂
＂就是.＂老k顺过小新的话：＂说不定人由飞这辈子就结这么一次婚，容易嘛！＂
由飞很不平：＂怎么说的我跟个婚贩子一样！＂
我说：＂你丫要是婚贩子还真好了呢，就苦了被你残害的无辜少女了.＂
＂谁残害谁呀？＂由飞语气里有无限的委屈：＂没听说过吗，这是一个把男人当狗当猪当牲畜的年代，男人地位已不比当年啦！＂
＂这话也太没品了！＂刘晴发表观点：＂你们男人再怎么喊冤，也照样比我们女人有优势，咱别的不说，就说这个内急吧，你们的生理结构就注定了你们解决内急的时候要比我们女人方便，随便一站拉链一拉，就可以速战速决，不用下蹲不用露臀还没什么尴尬.丫我在来的路上还碰到一个呢，都不带遮掩的！＂
＂可不是嘛！＂张婷一听有关男人生理的问题她就来劲：＂我觉得你们其实也挺伟大，你看看，一来不影响交通，二来可以解急，还顺带地灌溉地上的花花草草，义务绿化城市，
撒个尿都比我们有公德心，多高尚啊！＂
郝五一听有人夸男人高尚，又发起了彪：＂那是，城市就是我们男人绿化的，历史就是我们男人创造的，我们男人的口号就是――只要不害臊，处处能撒尿！＂
看着郝五还在那儿眉飞色舞，老k由飞韩冬那脸就跟被仙人掌刺了一样肿的通红，我们几个女同胞笑的比花儿都灿烂.
由飞结婚，那由飞就是被灌酒的那个.
我们这一桌儿人都是劝酒高手，几个回合下来任由飞酒量再好也差不多醉了个七八分.他眼一直，讲话就不受大脑控制：＂在坐的诸位，我从今天起可就正式进入坟墓了，你们得多给我准备点儿纸钱.＂
＂行！＂刘晴很干脆：＂我用镀过金的纸给你做纸钱！＂
由飞一撂筷子：＂你丫不是浪费吗！普通的冥纸就成，我对钱从来没有种族歧视！＂
毕竟晚上由飞还得洞房花烛，所以我们一看他喝高了也就很有默契的停止劝酒.谁知道由飞这孙子得了便宜还卖乖，说什么也要小新接受他的三杯敬酒.我知道小新不会喝白酒，想起身替她代喝，结果由飞死活不乐意，张婷他们又在旁边起哄，小新势单力薄，只能就范.
第一杯酒下去，小新眉皱了；第二杯酒下去，小新脸红了；第三酒下去，小新腿软了.
＂还行吗？＂我小声问她.
小新摸摸脸：＂感觉好热哦，茅台好难喝.＂
＂呵呵，多少人想喝都喝不到呢.＂我给她倒上茶：＂喝点茶，吃点菜，压一压.＂
由飞捡着软柿子捏，踩着鼻子上脸：＂小新乃女中豪杰！我再敬一杯！＂
小新摇摇头：＂不行不行，我不会喝白酒，现在已经晕了.＂
＂那刚才不是你喝啊？弄半天你还没喝啊！不行，你必须得喝我的敬酒，今儿我真的很感激你.来，咱俩一块把它喝了！＂
由飞说的声色俱全，小新被感动了：＂咱可说好了，这是最后一次！＂说着仰脖儿就是一杯.
由飞不依不挠的接着缠小新，我看小新那眼睛马上就要发直，把心一横，豁出去了，冲老k使个眼色，咱闹吧！
老k是个好搭档，不管是参加同学婚礼还是庆祝朋友生日，我们俩就是闹场的，经过多次试验配合，我们在这种场合已经有了炉火纯青的默契.有时候我也会琢磨，老k是个好男人，如果没有小新我有那么一点可能会爱上他的，可这世界上没有如果不是，所以我只能扼腕叹息一回，这辈子只能给他当哥们儿了.
婚礼不就图个热闹吗，我左手拿酒杯右手拿茶杯挨个儿的给他们敬酒，嘴里喝了酒杯里的酒再偷偷的往茶杯里吐，然后悄悄的把茶杯里的水往桌子底下倒.我看韩冬时不时就瞅小新一眼，心里发恨，他看一眼我敬他一杯酒，韩冬哪能经的住这般折腾，一会儿那脸就跟马路上的红灯一样醒目了.
老k是酒场上的老将，没多大功夫就把刘晴郝五几个给灌挺了，而他自己却还毫发无伤，我看由飞还在那儿缠小新，嘴一邪：该你了！我千娇百媚的晃到由飞身边，使出浑身解数往他嘴里灌酒，心里祈祷今晚你要洞房不了可别怪我.
＂飞子＂，我第n次给由飞到上酒：＂为了表达我对你忠心的第8次祝福，咱再干一杯！！＂
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