第77节
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老k拍马屁拍到底：＂我们要高呼：妓女万岁！＂
小外抓一把面丢到老k头上：＂万你个大头鬼＂.
小新挺诧异：＂小外，你对妓女还这么有研究啊？＂
荨把刚包好的一个饺子一撂：＂小――外！你是不是干过什么超现代的行为艺术啊？！＂
小外被人这么诬陷，有点儿着急：＂胡扯！我不就研究了点儿艺术史嘛，我我我搞哪门子行为艺术那我！＂
荨瞪着她：＂你整天研究些污七八糟的！你怎么不使劲儿研究研究革命史那！＂
小新跟着教育：＂阿外，你学艺术还真不亏哈，不过这些东西只能研究不能实践你知不知道？＂
小外哑巴吃黄连有苦说不出，我想到我跟她是战略合作伙伴关系，属同根同族，得为她说话：＂啧啧，你看看你们这个严肃劲儿，不就讨论讨论嘛，至于为难一个这么清纯利索的孩子嘛＂.
小外有了靠山，说话一下有了底气：＂就是就是，干吗都为难我嘛＂.
老k来回打量着我和小外：＂你俩...确定不是一个娘生的？＂
＂我靠！＂我抹老k一脸面粉：＂我跟你还是一个爹养的那！＂
老k擦擦脸上的面，装出一副＂圣母＂的老伴儿＂圣爹＂样儿：＂其实现在妓女也算一挺合法的工作了，你看现在这妓女，一个个多拽啊，地位也不差，人家工作那叫出台，人家办事儿那叫献身，人家能让观众如痴如醉能让顾客欲死欲仙.别的不说，就说这称呼吧，你叫别的人家不支声儿，非得叫个＇小姐＇人家才回头瞥你两眼，不都这么评价她们嘛，＇父母诚可贵，爱情价更高，若为性发展，两者都要抛！＇丫真是太伟大了，是吧，扬小姐，外小姐？＂
小新和荨又哧哧的笑，我和小外对看一眼，都听出这话里的无限讽刺，一块儿炸了，俩人很有默契的同时挥起擀面杖往他身上砸去，面粉飞落一地.
两天后，小外写了片关于妓女的论文，把我们今天的对话有选择性的写了进去，并发表在他们学校的校报上，传说对这论文的赞扬声一片，小外越发得意，立志要将妓女作为人类第四产业来发展，我们予以鼓励，但并没支持，于是她的这个志向在三天内宣告完蛋，样子怪可怜的.我和小新曾一块儿建议小外专门在写文上下下功夫，说不定能出个80后新一代美女作家，谁知道这小鬼很不屑：＂美女作家？有没有搞错，这年头儿，凡是发表过两篇文章脸上零部件儿完好无损的都叫美女作家，得啦，没事儿还是多读读鲁迅实在＂.她说着就打开avril那首nobody’sfool，把声音调的老大，吓我一跳，她到自在，搂着我们的肩就跟着音乐大吼：＂ifeelwhatonlyicanfeel...＂，小新颇无奈的拍拍她的脑袋，我揉揉耳朵，唔，还好，没被震聋.
饭后，小新和荨去收拾碗筷，小外也跟着溜达过去，老k走到我身边，看着站在荨身边的小外，苦恼的问：＂她俩不会跟你俩一样吧？＂
我反问：＂你是不是看到俩女生站一块儿都会认为人家关系不一般啊？＂
老k颇为坦率的沮丧：＂我不是被你给折腾的吗！＂
我宽他的心：＂你啊，可别想多了，小外还小，还不怎么懂感情，你最好在别的女孩子身上下下工夫＂.
老k又看看小外和荨，摸着自个儿的脑袋，貌似自言自语：＂这物以类聚人以群分的...我他妈不会真这么倒霉吧＂.
我使劲憋着笑：＂你丫乱说什么呢又＂.
老k叹口大气：＂得了得了，随缘随缘＂.
我学着毛主席的姿势，手一摆，很舒坦的微微一笑：＂同志，这就对了！＂
看看时间，刚过12点，老在家里憋着也不太好，老k建议去郊区走走玩玩，顺便晚上在野外吃顿野餐.我一向异想天开，提议道：＂咱都穿迷彩装出去玩儿吧＂.
小外撅嘴：＂我没迷彩＂.
小新附和：＂我也没有＂.
荨有想法：＂可以去买＂.
我看着老k，老k摸摸腰包：＂走吧，妹妹们，咱一块儿去买，钱哥哥包了＂.
老k出血，当然不能辜负他，我们四个每人一套，还转捡好的挑，我还不忘摸个军用水壶背到身上，然后四个人一起打扮老k，一会儿让他试试这套，一会儿让他试试那套，老k穿上军装还真帅气，奶奶的，要不是有了小新，我一准儿得跟着他跑，小新看我思想要出轨，咬着牙狠狠的掐了我一把，疼啊！
老k被四朵花儿包围着，乐的嘴都歪了：＂怪不得人家皇帝都三宫六院的哈，真他妈舒服＂.
小外客气的献媚：＂那你今儿就当回皇帝吧＂.
老k很认真的看看我又看看她：＂可惜就缺个皇后＂.
小外冲他做个鬼脸：＂可惜俺们四个里边没人适合当皇后＂.
小新和荨在一边催：＂k哥哥，快去付钱，咱还得出去玩儿呢＂.
老k很无奈的把帐给结了，然后带领我们走出商店，我们五个都是一身迷彩行头，说不吸引别人目光那是假的，来回的路人没一个不抬起眼皮看看的，老k跟个将军似的特光荣，就差喊起口号＂一二一＂了，我们四个都很给他面子，把他围在中间，捧的跟个月亮似的，老k跟个真事儿似的审视我们一个遍，赖皮赖脸的演讲：＂你们还都挺英姿飒爽的哈，啧啧，我盖个金屋儿，把你们都包了咋样儿？你们就为了爱情都向我献身吧！我会好好对待你们的！＂
我们四个举起手臂，8只拳头同时落到老k的身上，老k抱头鼠窜：＂有你们这么野蛮的吗？！凭什么打我啊？！＂
我边追边打：＂我最讨厌一男的抛头露脸花红柳绿明目张胆的包二奶了，你还没结婚呢就想搞三四五六七八奶了？！你对得起你未来的老婆吗你！＂
小新边打边追：＂想乱搞反倒美其名曰为了爱情，不像话！你还真是哪儿疼往哪儿杵呢你！＂
荨握着粉拳就往上冲：＂你是不是饥渴难耐久旱逢甘霖那？！思想严重变形儿了你！＂
小外更干脆，直接手脚并用的拿脚踹拿掌拍：＂你丫长了副欠揍的样儿，不打你打谁？！就你这张跟王力宏一样＇去年一点相思泪，今年始流到嘴边＇的马脸儿还想包个人？看你外姐姐不教育死你！＂
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