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第二章 地府惹祸了

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“什么?!你是……”

范畴吃惊的看着那自称阎王爷小舅子的家伙,又看看头顶的灯泡,傻了。龙腾小说ltxsba.com

“你不用怀疑,我法力高深,你这个小灯泡对我没有威胁。”那家伙面无表情的说道。

“呃……你是说,你是鬼?那你把我mp3揣兜里干啥?”

“这玩意叫mp3?做什么用的?”那家伙很自然的从兜里把那个mp3拿了出来,好奇的问道。

“……听歌的,不过这个早都坏了……”

“那这个呢?”那人指着手里的山寨大苹果又问。

“……手机,打电话用的……”

“什么是打电话?”那人白痴的程度似乎很严重。

范畴觉得自己又有点要崩溃,他有气无力的说:“别装了哥们,还阎王爷小舅子,我还阎王爷二大爷呢,得了吧,看你混的好像比我还惨,我这有件卡帕,归你了,冰箱里还有半拉猪蹄子,你去啃了吧,不过那冰箱门坏了,开的时候注意点别砸到脚,完事就该干啥干啥去吧。”

其实他没好意思说,那卡帕是去年在地摊花29买的,回来一看俩小人面对面,一直没好意思穿,至于那猪蹄子,估计差不多也快馊了,因为冰箱根本没插电源,范畴觉得,这样省电!

谁知那人满脸纳闷的听完,开口说:“我说的你不信?我真是阎王爷小舅子。”

“……好吧,我信,你是阎王爷小舅子,去把猪蹄子啃了就回地府吧,人间太危险不适合你们上来……”

那人歪着头看着范畴,忽然甩手打了个响指。

“啪”

屋里的灯忽然一下子灭了,范畴吓了一跳,接着又“啪”的一声,灯又亮了。

那人看着目瞪口呆的范畴,得意的说:“这回你信不信?告诉你,我要不想让你开灯,你压根就打不开。”

说着,那人一指桌子上的水杯,那水杯竟然晃晃悠悠的飞了起来,在范畴目瞪口呆中,直接飞到他头顶,哗啦一下,半杯水都浇他脑袋上了,然后才啪嗒掉在了床上。

这一下范畴是真信了,他吓的趴在床上,眼泪汪汪的说道:“我说鬼大哥,我也就写点鬼故事,怎么都来找我呀,我再也不写了还不行么,这大半夜的不让人睡觉……”

那人一愣,有点不好意思的说:“哦哦,也是,那我明天白天再来……”

说着转身就要走,忽然一顿,回过头恶狠狠的说:“我靠,让你搅合的都忘了来干啥了,你起来跟我走一趟,说说你那假币的事!”

“假币?”范畴又傻眼了,这位到底是地府的还是官府的啊?

“没错,你这家伙刚才往阴间烧了十亿元假币,数额特别巨大,情节特别严重,影响特别恶劣,对阴间的金融流通造成了很大的不良影响,尤其是,对我的信誉造成了极大损害,所以,跟我地府走一趟吧!”那人恶狠狠的说道。

范畴吓了一跳,十亿元假币,这罪名不小啊,怎么自己烧个纸还整出假币了?

“我冤枉啊,批发市场卖的都那玩意,我哪知道真假啊,再说了,我也没有你们那的验钞器啊……”范畴揪着头发叫道。

“少废话,你那钱我刚拿出去就让人家认出来是假币了,倒霉就倒你身上,今天你走也得走,不走也得走……”

那人忿忿的说着,随手一招,范畴顿时就觉得眼前一黑,什么都不知道了。

那人把范畴的手机往兜里一揣,啪的甩了个响指,灯光随之而灭,接着原地转身,空气一阵荡漾后,屋子里就什么都没有了。

飘飘荡荡,昏昏沉沉,范畴再睁开眼睛的时候,周围已经是换了个世界。

这是一个灰暗的地方,仿佛是一间屋子,黑咕隆咚的,阴气森森。

面前有一张桌子,桌子后面坐了个人,身穿官服,面目阴沉,留着大胡子,那个阎王爷的小舅子就站在自己旁边,

“说说你那个假币的事吧!”阎王爷小舅子恶狠狠地说道。

“那个……”

范畴心里这个犯愁,我说什么啊,烧个纸怎么烧出这么大官司出来,难道那纸钱真是假币?可是不对啊,那钱是烧给女色鬼的,她不可能来这里举报我吧?

“我说,崔命,你还当真把人家抓来了……”

那个坐在桌子后面的人忽然开口了,语气里却满是装腔作势。

“凭什么不抓啊,陆判官,你知不知道这家伙社会危害多大,十亿元假币啊!”

阎王爷小舅子气呼呼的说道。

“嗯嗯,崔命说得对,假币的事很严重,范畴,你如今到了地府,就是罪人,本判官罚你有期徒刑两百年,然后去往农家投胎做猪,你可有话说?”

陆判官阴阳怪气的说道。

“我当然有话说,凭什么就判我两百年啊,我是无辜的,商店里卖的纸钱都是那玩意,我哪知道真假啊,我也没有你们这的验钞器……我给你一张假人民币你能分出来么?”范畴不甘的叫了起来。

“咦,有理有理,如此判刑果然不合适,应该无罪释放。”那判官摸着胡子做恍然大悟状。

“你……”范畴无语了,这位敢情是糊涂虫,墙头草啊,就这智商当判官?

“我说崔命啊,这是你的不对啊,你说你欠我十亿还不上,也不能去阳间打劫啊,再说那钱在地府已经不流通了你不知道吗?”

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