第八十八章 不服揍你
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范畴用了三分钟的时间，杀上山顶！
他长身挺立，傲视山巅，罡风猎猎，雄姿睥睨，浑身都透着一股王八之气！
（以上是玄幻版的写法。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com）
其实
他是突然想起阴阳双环一个特殊的功能，隐藏活人气息，靠着这个办法一路畅通无阻的跑上来的，周围虽然有无数眼睛在窥视，但再没有恶鬼拦路了。
重新站在勾魂无常的面前，范畴双手叉腰，呼呼喘着粗气，这一口气跑上山还真是够劲，勾魂无常也饶有兴味地看着他，没有吭声。
范畴喘匀了气儿，看了看勾魂无常旁边的凤姐，这才开口说道：“我现在算是明白了，你那天闹着要跟花小鑫入洞房，都是他娘的扯淡，你是要把花小鑫的魂勾走，好让这家伙占了他的身体，你们俩早就勾结在一起，对不对？”
凤姐迟疑了一下，说道：“我保证无常大哥不会伤你性命，你还是回去吧，我们一样都是从地府逃出的不假，但无常大哥真的是你惹不起的，不如下了西山，一样有鬼可捉。”
“嘿嘿，我刚才已经说了，只要你们让我把他带走，从此井水不犯河水，别说晚上不来西山，我以后郊游都不来了都行。”
“这个人，是无常大哥好不容易挑选到的，生辰八字完全符合，是不可能放弃的，何况他的魂魄已经失踪七天，想必已经成了游魂，再也回不来了，你又何必多此一举。”
范畴心中恍然，原来是这样，看来勾魂无常是王八吃秤砣，铁了心要霸占花小鑫了，他扭头看了看人事不省的花小鑫，心想你小子也有被人霸占的一天。
不过，时间还得拖下去，范畴还等着土地爷的救兵呢，他可没打算自己玩命。
“算了，我知道你说了也不管用，你是看在小童的份上对我勉强和颜悦色，不过我当初也没对你赶尽杀绝，咱们俩就不用多说了，我现在倒要采访一下这位无常大哥同学，请问你这么热衷于拥有一具活人的身体，对你有什么好处吗？做了人，你每天就要吃饭，睡觉，还得工作赚钱养活自己，除非你用他本来的身份回去，管人家叫声爹，当一个混吃等死的富二代。再说，这家伙肾虚，贫血，哮喘，先天性心脏病，肺结核，肝硬化，还有严重的痔疮，上个厕所没有俩小时出不来，你说，就这破烂货的身体你要了干啥？”
范畴顺嘴就给花小鑫编了一大堆病，估计花小鑫要听见了得立刻吐血。
勾魂无常却笑了起来。
“哦？这具身体原来这么有趣，我倒要试试这些病都是什么感觉，哈哈哈，你也很有趣，我现在又想问那个老问题，地府到底给了你什么好处？”
范畴撇了撇嘴：“你还当有病是好事啊，我告诉你，他不但有这些病，还天天逛窑子泡妓院，一身的花柳梅毒，就差艾滋病没去检查了。”
勾魂无常却还是没有反应，就像听笑话一样，范畴见没起什么作用，想想又继续说：“你要问地府给我好处，其实什么好处都没有，陆判官那老家伙吓唬我，说不帮他们干事就要收我进地府，哎，其实我也是无辜的，没办法啊。”
“哦？原来是这样，其实，他们只不过是吓唬你而已，拘捕魂魄的事，归地府拘魂部负责，只有黑白无常、牛头马面才有这个权利下令拘魂，你只不过是他们找的一个苦力罢了。”勾魂无常边说边摇头，像是对范畴的工作性质很不理解。
“呃，这个嘛，人生际遇无常啊，就算是陆判官我也惹不起啊”
范畴苦笑着应付了一句，心里还真有了点情绪，他知道勾魂无常说的是对的，并没有对他用勾魂的鬼术，两个人就像朋友聊天一样。
但范畴自己明白，勾魂无常这个态度，正说明了他根本没拿自己当对手，不是不想，而是不屑。就像是一个三岁大的孩子，对着一个成年人又骂又打，那成年人只会觉得好笑和心烦，却不会真的跟这孩子对打对骂。
这是一种高高在上的姿态。
偷眼看了一下时间，刚刚过去五分钟不到，范畴此时觉得这时间是过得又慢又快。觉得慢是因为盼着土地爷快点到，觉得快是因为，距离花小鑫魂魄离体满七天的时间，还有最后十多分钟了。
“你放了他，我给你找个更合适的身体怎么样？”
范畴再不说废话，直截了当的问。
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