第一一八章 上吊的注意事项
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范畴急急忙忙的回到了家，翻出那个同学的电话号码，怀着忐忑的心情把电话打过去之后，不出所料，停机了。龙腾小说ltxsba.com.
哎，几年不联系，临时抱佛脚果然不顶用，范畴又试着联系了几个同学，结果大多数都是停机。只有一个当时的室友老三电话接通了，一打听，正在大连捞海带呢，一听是范畴，张嘴就跟他借钱，说自己现在生活太苦，养着老婆孩子，一天就赚几十块。
范畴差点泪流满面，那可是他们班的学习尖子，上学的时候拐带着他们班花私奔了，连毕业证都没要，当时大家还羡慕他们俩人相爱的勇气，万万没想到，现在居然混的这么惨。
范畴二话没说，当即把他的帐号要来了，转头就在电脑上给汇过去一千块，然后对他说：“兄弟，为了那些年我们一起追过的班花，这钱不用还了。”
这电话打的，莫名其妙就打出去一千块钱。
范畴挂了电话，不禁回忆起大学时代的点点滴滴，想起那几个亲如兄弟的室友，想起那个有机会牵手却错过的女孩，不由得长叹一声：“我那悄悄逝去的青春啊......”
一声哀叹未了，手机嗡嗡的响了起来，范畴一看，是个陌生号码，接起来放在耳边，里面传出了一个语气熟悉，语调却陌生的声音。
“范老大，我啥时候死啊？”
范畴一脑门子差点磕到桌子上，有气无力的说：“花小鑫，这也就是我，换个人得让你吓死，你死个屁啊，活的好好的，死什么。”
“不是，我是说顾小北，你不是说让我回去么，那他不就得死了，我是这个意思，哎，求求你快点让我死吧，昨天晚上我跟小鱼在屋顶上坐了一夜，我是怎么熬过来的你知道不？天呐，我真怕我哪天控制不住，让顾小北那个家伙占了便宜。”
“我靠，我告诉你啊，你必须给我老实点，否则我弄死你。”
“那我可太谢谢你了，快点弄死我吧，我现在是生不如死啊......”
范畴挠了挠头，无奈道：“那也没办法，本来我已经有了个主意，可是后来出了点意外，现在只剩下最后一条路了，你赶紧疏远小鱼，或者你干脆跑路吧，找个没人的地方上吊，然后我再把你的魂魄送回家，万事大吉，一天乌云都散了。”
花小鑫唉声叹气的说：“看来也只好如此了，要不我今天晚上就去上吊吧，你帮我找个地方，我实在是受不了了，这心里跟猫挠似的，左右为难，大不了等我死了，变成花小鑫，我再重新追小鱼！”
好么，上吊还得让人帮着找地方，范畴一时无语，却忽然真的想起个地方。
西山，那里还有个吊死鬼在等着抓替身呢，好地方啊！
“你今天就收拾收拾吧，要是有欠的电费水费什么的赶紧交了，要是有剩饭剩菜的赶紧扔了，别等你死了之后污染环境，还有，别忘了写封遗书，就说你是自杀，不麻烦警察叔叔破案了，然后你就等我的消息吧。”
“呃......好吧，我知道了，老大，你真厉害，连自杀都这么有经验。”
“废话，我是写灵异悬疑故事的，没事就研究这些玩意，还有，你自己换好干净衣服，最好是黑色的，省得我给你置办寿衣了......”
花小鑫带着哭腔说：“我是不是天底下最倒霉的倒霉蛋，人家自杀都有人劝，你可好，一个劲的教我怎么死，得友如此，夫复何求啊。”
范畴也哭笑不得的说：“你可拉倒吧，我就认识个比你还倒霉的，哎，兄弟，啥也不说了，我先告诉你注意事项，你千万记住，上吊之前别吃饭喝水，否则到时候一勒脖子，容易大小便失禁，不好收拾啊......”
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