第六百零二章 都是地府惹的祸
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范畴:“……”
……
数天后,一个月黑风高之夜,陆判官亲自主刀,把这颗七窍玲珑心,换给了睡梦中的小鱼。
花小鑫在旁目睹了整个过程,范畴拉着他的手,语重心长地说:“以后就不要想着欺负我妹妹了,你这辈子在智商上面已经注定处于劣势了。好好对她吧,不然的话,她哪天把你卖了,你还得帮她数钱……”
花小鑫泪流满面。
又数天后,上官警方来访,说那个被全国通缉的黎叔找到了,人已经变成痴呆了,疯疯癫癫的,连自己是谁都不记得了。
范畴等来等去,也等不到刘备和吕布等人的消息,终于决定要搬家了。
这天是四月一日,范畴收拾好了简单的行李,幽然叹息,心想,回到老屋后,就恢复以前的生活,所有过去的一切,就当是一个愚人节的玩笑吧。
他带着机灵鬼和阿香,手里捏着u盘,刚走到门口,抬头看,只觉阳光刺眼,浑身都暖洋洋的,他舒展了一下筋骨,正要跨上自己那辆电动车,忽然见前方风驰电掣般跑过来一辆车,而且,还很眼熟。
他揉了揉被此花的眼睛,还没等仔细看,那辆车就已经来到了门前,四个人从车里跳出,直奔他冲了上来。
范畴还以为遇到绑票的了,吓了一跳,定睛看,却顿时傻眼了,只觉百感交集,惊喜不已,激动的连说都不会话了。
因为这几个人,带头的正是林若雪,后面跟着吕布,刘备,泰山……
范畴还没等反应过来,几个人就拉着他的胳膊,嘴里喊着快走,推推搡搡的就把他往车上拽。
范畴是丈二和尚摸不着头脑,这几个人好不容易回来了,咋还变成土匪了?
他被拽进车里,抬头一看,那司机也是熟人,夏冰……
这五六个鬼,加上范畴、夏冰,坐在车里,一点都不挤,范畴忙问这究竟是咋回事,夏冰瞥了他一眼,直接一脚油门踩到底,笑着说:“回家。”
这车一路不停,径直回到了范畴的老宅,一进屋,众人就把范畴推了进去,他迷迷瞪瞪的进了屋,忽然闻到一阵熟悉的饭菜香味,定睛一看,桌子上居然摆着满满一桌子酒菜,而且桌上已经坐了几个人。
郭瘸子,紫龙道长,上官警方,小鱼,花小鑫,土地爷,芙蓉姐姐,桃花巷的那几个隐世高人,还有……吴半仙?
范畴正纳闷他怎么也来了,厨房里忽然传来一个声音:“开饭啦……”
范畴听到这声音,浑身顿时一震,就见一个熟悉无比的身影从厨房走出,手里端着一盘蛋炒饭,笑着放在桌上,对范畴说:“先生,这是你最爱吃的蛋炒饭,快来尝尝味道如何……”
居然、居然是窦娥!
范畴这回彻底傻眼了,他拼命的揉了揉眼睛,简直不敢相信自己,以为这是幻觉,可眼前那熟悉的笑容,温柔的话语,甚至那蛋炒饭的味道,他只要一闻,就知道准是窦娥做的!
范畴激动了,他伸手拉住窦娥,又惊又喜,手掌上却传来温热的触感,这、这分明是真实的肉身,这、这……
他已经彻底懵了,崔命不知何时也走了进来,嘿嘿笑道:“没想到吧,这是给你个惊喜,那天窦娥魂魄飘散,本来应该消失的,但你在失落平原一坐不起,感动了观音菩萨,她用自己那滴仙露,给窦娥重塑了肉身,赐寿一甲子,享人间喜乐悲欢。至于那几个人,他们都是大大的功臣,我姐夫上表求告天庭,玉帝特批,让他们在人间当护法神了。”
“啊?护、护法神?给谁护法啊……”范畴被这一连串的惊喜弄的昏头昏脑,这咋还出来护法神了?
崔命道:“笨蛋,你现在是代理城隍,当然是给你当护法神,要知道,肉身当城隍的,这古往今来也没几个,你这福气可是大无边啊。”
范畴这才反应过来,他祖宗把城隍令给他了,他自然以后就是城隍老爷了,他心中现在是说不出的激动,只顾得拉住窦娥的手不松开,就像生怕一松手,窦娥就又跑了一样。
众人看了一起大笑,纷纷站起来大叫:“参见城隍老爷……”
范畴脸都红了,一个劲的摆手:“别闹别闹,回头让人听见,还以为咱们非法集会那……”
连郭瘸子都站起来给他行礼了,范畴冲郭瘸子尴尬一笑:“您老是地藏菩萨分身,你就别寒碜我了,我得给你行礼才对……”
郭瘸子嘿嘿笑道:“少扯那没用的……你那100多g我看完了,啥时候再给我来点无*的?”
范畴目瞪口呆:“您老……这样不合适吧?”
郭瘸子理直气壮:“我这是体察人间民情,掌握你们的罪证……”
众人集体晕倒……
但这些人里面,就吴半仙一个人没动,一直捻须微笑,崔命推了范畴一下,低声说:“你还不快去谢谢我姐夫让你们大团圆?”
范畴又懵了:“啊?你姐夫,在哪呢……”
崔命冲吴半仙一努嘴:“喏,那就是,他是我姐夫在人间的分身,你谢他就行了……”
他这一说,不光范畴,所有人都吓了一跳,我的个乖乖,阎王爷在人间的分身,谁惹得起?这比郭瘸子还可怕啊……
范畴又问起一辉,才知道他在前几天就已经涅槃重生,回到希腊圣域去了,众人曾劝他和范畴告别,但他说不必了,让大家代为转达,刘备悄悄告诉范畴,一辉走的时候,还带了几桶汽油……
这场欢宴一直进行到深夜才散,范畴拉着窦娥的手跳上屋顶,肩并肩坐下,心中百感交集,一时无言,正要和窦娥一起数星星,半空忽然飘过一片乌云,遮蔽了星光,范畴一愣,那乌云里忽然冒出一个人来,跳下屋顶,居然是林若雪。
范畴哭笑不得,满脸无语的看着她,林若雪一本正经地说:“虽然我现在不能和你在一起了,但我是你的护法神,我得时刻看着你,保护你。”
范畴挠了挠头:“那就……一起数星星吧……”
林若雪挨着他嘻嘻坐下,乌云散去,三人正抬头望空,忽然一个人从远处跳上屋顶,稀里哗啦踩碎一片,那人有模有样的叫道:“城隍老爷在上,城外西山发现僵尸行踪,我师傅命我前来报信,请城隍老爷派兵剿灭。”
范畴一看这人却是夏冰,一捂脸,无语道:“我知道你拜紫龙道长为师了,也不用这样吧,唱戏啊……”
这星星看来是数不成了,范畴无奈起身,取出城隍令,叫道:“也罢,五方神听令!”
当下刘备、吕布、泰山、林若雪,外加机灵鬼……这机灵鬼是他自己封的。这五个人一起现身半空,范畴想了想说道:“其实嘛,那些僵尸也都是无辜的,咱就别剿灭人家了,咱去把它们埋了如何?”
几人轰然叫好,在半空飘飘浮浮,一指半空,齐声道:“请城隍老爷先行。”
范畴这时候还真找到点城隍老爷的感觉,不由得意洋洋,迈步就往空中走去,窦娥在后面惊呼一声:“哎,你……”
她话音未落,范畴已经一个跟斗从房顶上摔下去了,众人哈哈大笑,他这才反应过来,揉着屁股大骂道:“你们这几个家伙,欺负我这个肉身城隍老爷不会飞啊……”
众人大笑道:“这都是地府惹的祸啊......”
......
数月后,范畴在窦娥的帮助下,以亲身经历创作的长篇小说《都是地府惹的祸》在网络连载,并一举成名!
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ps:地府的故事至此完结了,心里有点淡淡的忧桑......有想了解半仙创作动态和新书情况的,可以加群二二零一七一三五二,再次感谢朋友们的一路相随。r1152
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