第四章 国殇 （四 上）
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“没事，不怕。如果你累了，我马上带几个人送你和世民回唐公的临时府邸。、”李旭的心思永远比不上手脚快，也许是故意，也许是真的不理解女孩子现在最需要什么，他的回答远远出乎李婉儿的期待。
“我忘了，你是杀过人的。”李婉儿侧过头来，对李旭笑了笑，露出一双好看的小酒窝。她的肤色不似苏rx部的女人们那么白哲，但很温润，被簧火从侧面照亮，鼻尖和手指有些部分几乎是透明的，就像一块刚刚雕琢过的大块红玛瑙。
“我没主动杀过人，那是为了自保。”李旭心有些莫名其妙的恼怒，声音不觉稍稍提高了些。话说出了口，他立刻警觉到了自己失态。扭转头，迅速向周围看了看，还好，附近火堆的同伴已经差不多走光了。刘弘基和李世民两个坐在五十步之外，正在比比划划地争论着什么，没人注意到这边发生了什么事。
李婉儿把头低了下去，信手继续拨弄灰烬。几颗没烧全的木炭渣被她挑了起来，重新扔入了火堆。火跳了跳，进射出数百颗星星，霹雳吧啦炸响着，在半空中飘远。
“我不是故意的!”李旭觉得有些内疚，低声道歉。他知道自己也害怕，一闭上眼睛，首先看到的就是一条血河和黑压压的弩箭，仿佛自己就是造桥工匠的一员，根本没地方躲藏，也不能回头。但这些话不能说，跟谁也不能说。他现在是校尉了，要保持军人威仪况且对方还是个女人，恩公兼顶头上司的女儿。
“没事!”李婉儿大度地给了李旭一个笑容，继续说道:“我不是说你杀人，我只想听听你在部打胜仗的故事。世民还没玩够，我不想太早回府!”
这个理由很合适，至少李旭没觉得有什么不妥。低头想了想，他又开始讲徐大眼在苏啜部如何练兵，如何帮助苏啜部击溃索头奚人进攻的故事。那个故事很精彩，可以让人暂时忘记下午看到的惨烈景象。更重要的是故事己经被人询问过很多次，李旭现在可以在说故事的同时轻松地抹掉自己不想提及的一切记忆。
“你说·咱们大隋此时的境遇·像苏啜部还是像索头奚人，’，瞬间的软弱过后，坚强来的少女婉儿又关心起了国家大事。
“不好说，苏啜部和平索头奚部根本太小，只能打一次败仗，一次输，就全输了。大隋和高丽都是大国，可以输赢很多次”李旭想了想，回答。
这是他今晚想了很久才得出的结论，但这个结论明显无法让李婉儿感到安慰。又过了片刻，婉儿放下木棍，拍了拍手上的灰烬，站起来问道:“那你将来会主动请缨么?去河对面建功立业?”
“我，我不知道!”李旭楞了一下，不明白对方为什么有此一问。他现在的确很迷茫，原来跟徐大眼在一起时，不需要他想，徐大眼每次都能安排好二人下一步该干什么。后来遇到刘弘基，也不需要他为将来的事情操心，刘大哥会默默替他打算，条理清楚指明他需要走的路。而现在，徐大眼失散了，刘大哥高升了，习惯了被人安排的他突然发现自己有了很多选择，每一条路都充满诱惑，但每一条路似乎都不那么好走。
“你可真够笨的!”李婉儿突然生起了气来，抬脚将身边的木棍踢飞了出去。
“二姐，你是找我么？”李世民被这边的声响惊动，回过头来大声喊。
“走了，回家！”李婉儿怒气冲冲地呵斥了一句，吓得李世民赶紧跑上前，慌不及待地问道：“怎么了，二姐，谁惹你了？”
“累了，咱们回家吧，别让娘担心!”婉儿突然又笑了起来，摸着弟弟的头说道。弟弟越来越高了，己经慢慢超过了自己，眼看就要长成一个魁梧的男人。娘说过，男人生下来就要建功立业，否则，就没法被人瞧得起。并且，越是出身寒微的人，越是把功业看得比性命还重。
“谁爱死谁去死，关我什么事情！”踏上马镫前，李婉儿小声嘀咕道。
“姐，你在说什么啊？李世民又被吓了一跳，惊诧地问。
“我说，你以后多读书，小舞刀弄棒”李婉儿大声呵斥了一句，回头看看远远跟过来的李旭和刘弘基，用力抽了战马一鞭子。
吃了痛的战马向前跃出丈余，撒开四蹄，远远地遁入了夜色中。
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