第一章 肱股（三上）
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大隋从朝堂到地方，甚至在郡县，即便是户槽、兵槽这样的底层小吏，也很少是科举和行伍出身的。本朝有不成文的规定，凡为吏者，需要家世清白，有地方士绅保荐。而那些地方绅士们保荐的人才，绝对不会是个没有任何背景的草民！
比较一下眼前事实，再想想自己当年于县学苦读时那些不切实际的梦想，旭子忍不住想仰天长叹。他更加理解了为什么当年徐大眼的志愿是建立自己的家族。这个朝廷简直就是为了世家大族而设立，平民出身的人通常情况下只有膜拜的资格，根本没机会说出自己想说的话。
旭子不知道自己现在算寒门还是士族。他有着士族的官职，爵位，却依旧保持着一双寒门的眼睛。这种不尴不尬的身份令他极其孤单，越是尽力想融入周围环境，，对孤独的体会越深。
御林军的将校中有许多与旭子年龄差不多的少年，他们踌躇满志，期待着有朝一日能建功立业。所以，大伙对李旭这些年的经历很是神往。当与旭子有意或无意中在酒宴上相遇后，他们都喜欢哄闹着，要求李旭讲一讲辽东和黎阳城下的故事。
每当旭子讲完那些血染的故事后，却在大多数人眼中看到的不是佩服，也不是尊敬。“如果当时我带兵，就从爬到山谷顶上，居高临下！”谈到无名谷之战，有人挥舞着手臂，奋力比划。“几十丈高的地方，随便扔一块石头都会重逾千钧。那高句丽将领真笨，居然连这一点都想不到！”
此人说得吐沫星子飞溅，根本没想想，如何爬上那么陡峭的山峰。即便爬上去了，到哪里去找那么多石头。
“元务本根本不懂用兵，那么多人，至少要摆一个八卦大阵。生、死、惊、兑……战马冲进去，云弥雾合，立刻迷失方向！”对于黎阳第一战，有人的看法更是独特。说话的家伙是一个易经八卦的拥敝者，脸色苍白，嘴唇黑青。旭子从其他人口中得知，只有经常服用五石散的人才会拥有如此虚幻的脸色。脸色每白一分，他们距离天人合一的境界就又近了一重。
“李将军守城时，怎么不在城墙和街道附近堆木柴。先把敌军放进来，然后柴薪尽燃……”有人幻想着烈焰腾空的样子，两眼星光直冒。至于黎阳城内的粮食会不会因此被点燃，根本不在他的考虑范围之内。
御林军的将校们出身都很高贵，几乎从娘胎里就有了功名。雄厚的家庭背景和优越的生活使得他们看那些地位不如自己的人时习惯于俯视，而旭子偏偏没有学会怎样仰脸装出一幅献媚的笑容。对于这些人的指手画脚，他能敷衍就敷衍，实在敷衍不了了，就干脆装做没听见。少年们见自己的“高见”不被人接受，一个个气得火冒三丈。但他们却没有当面和李旭切磋一下武技的勇气，“那个新进的李侯眼神冷得怕人，跟这个疯子比武，气势上先输三分！”。
“早知道伴驾是这种滋味，当时不如…….”李旭不止一次为自己轻易放弃的雄武营的做法感到懊悔。如果当时向宇文述服软，然后阳奉阴违呢？他不知道如果这样做，自己留住雄武营的可能有多大。但他知道，自己在离开军营这段时间里真的很孤独。
南行路上的风是冷的，少年人的心一样慢慢变冷，像官道两边的积雪般黑黑的发着寒光。每当队伍找到大户人家腾出来的房屋宿营的时候，他总是怀念自己走过的战斗岁月。无论是在护粮军还是在雄武营，旭子从来没这么孤独过。虽然最后的结局是，他不得不从这两支队伍中离开，并且先后和两个朋友因为选择的不同而疏远。但他怀念那些谜底没有揭开前，并肩战斗、流血的日子。每每在黑夜里回首望过去，就像野兽在瞭望着篝火。
“我一定要想办法回到军中去，那才是我应该呆的地方！”炭盆前，抱着膝盖，旭子愣愣地想。
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