第39节：蹉跎岁月(39)
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
外人看起来，一个家庭出身如此坏的小伙子，爱上了一个高干子女，简直是一件可笑的事情，至少他是极无自知之明的，太盲目了。龙腾小说ltxsba.com而在真实的生活中，这事情已经发生了。
当邵大山和邵玉蓉把杜见春下午将要来的话捎给他的时候，柯碧舟的心情是多么狂喜、激悦啊!他又能见到她了，又能和她相对坐着说话了，这有多么幸福啊！她主动地来看他，这就是说，她还记着他，她并不因为苏道诚说了那些话而歧视他，她是多么好啊，达观、心胸开阔、直率爽朗。在突如其来的喜悦中，柯碧舟觉得，自己有多少话想对她讲啊。仿佛千言万语齐涌到喉咙口，争先恐后地要抢着说出来似的。
但当他此刻站在玻璃窗前，怀着忐忑不安的心情等待她来的时候，他怎么也想象不出，自己第一句话该对她说啥，又怎样向她接着叙述憋在心底的烦闷。究竟怎么说呢，说他是新中诞生后出生的，说他从未见过自己的父亲，那个给他带来一辈子污点和烦恼的父亲，除了血管里流的血，这个父亲从来没有给过他任何东西，他的脑子里，也根本没有这个人的形象，可他如今却要时时记着有这个罪人，因为这个罪人，他时时处处都低人一等，都无法光明正大地站在众人面前理直气壮地说话做事，仿佛他脑门上天生有一个印记。他还要告诉见春，自己从小是随着劳苦半世的妈妈长大的，在他童年的记忆中，只有善良慈祥的妈妈，只有他
的妹妹柯碧霞。还在小学里的时候，他就喜爱文学，爱读高尔基的书，想做一个高尔基那样的人。这个伟大的作家说过，他身上所有的优点，都是书本给他的，柯碧舟也想说，他从书中汲取了无数的养料。正因为他爱文学，长大了也想写书，中学里的同学在他的日记本上看到这些话，传到那个绰号叫”污糟”的班主任兼政治老师吴昭耳里，这个因犯男女关系错误的班主任，上课就昂着她那张马脸大唱标语口号式的高调，没事爱在班级里抓学生中的阶级斗争，一心想把班级搞成个响当当的典型，她好借此入党、升官、青云直上。曾因为有个女同学爱穿花衣裳，被她斥骂为”资产阶级臭小姐”；曾因为一个男同学把弄脏了的馒头扔掉，被她说成是”剥削阶级的孝子贤孙”，”忘本”；当这个”污糟”听到柯碧舟想当大文豪的传话时，她当即在全班掀起了一个批判柯碧舟的”运动”。”污糟”说柯碧舟出身于反动家庭，是个走”白专道路”的典型，像这种人掌握了知识，只能是以知识向党要挟，继而复辟资本主义。尽管这个”运动”被党支部和教导处察觉，及时阻止了，也没在其他师生中产生影响，柯碧舟又不服，最后弄得不了了之。但当”文化革命”开始，”污糟”造反当权，在造反队、革委会里都当上了常委，负责毕业生分配时，柯碧舟就遭了殃。”污糟”以政治教师、班主任、造反队头头、校革委会常委、毕业分配小组组长的五重身份，给柯碧舟写下了一份评语。这评语，学校里统称品德评语；社会上叫鉴定。柯碧舟并不知这鉴定上究竟写了些啥，但是听消息灵通的苏道诚说，就因这份评语，他被划为九个内控对象之一。换一句话说，也就是全县最坏的九个知青中的一个。哎呀，这些情况说它干啥，也许，敏感的杜见春听了会误以为我在有意识地解释哩，干脆不说吧！可不说，还能找些什么话讲呢……
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