第五十一章 车轱辘
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半夜，李虎从噩梦中惊醒，大汗淋漓，魂不附体，喘了半天气才稳定下来。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com
直娘贼，老子是不是被怨鬼缠上了？李虎越想越怕，瞪大眼睛不敢睡了。这坏事真不能干，连续两个晚上做恶梦了，如果一直这样下去，老子还不早早蹬腿进地狱啊‰到昨晚义军在东楼的血腥屠杀，李虎无奈苦叹，杀了那么多人，我死了之后，恐怕阎王爷都不要我了。一个士卒拼了老命杀人，一辈子能杀多少？我脑筋一转，嘴一张，几千几万人就死了，像我这样一辈子要杀多少？罪孽深重，罪孽深重啊……
老爹，我现在该怎么办？我不杀人，我就要死，我要想活着，就要一直杀人，这种日子要过到哪一天？过去我还有可能一逃了之，但现在想逃都逃不掉了，这两天我先在广平淀伏杀了辽军，接着又攻占了龙化城，一口气杀死了上万人，我逃不掉了。天下之大，哪有我的藏身之处？
徐大眼听到李虎恐惧的叫喊声，以为出了什么事，和几个铁卫匆忙跑了进来。
“多点几个烛台，我怕黑。”李虎情绪很低落，有气无力，“有酒吗？”
“你要喝酒？”徐大眼顿时来了精神，“要不要去搞点下酒菜？”
李虎挥挥手，示意他赶快去办，不要说许多废话了。徐大眼本来还睡眼惺忪，这下知道有酒喝，马上精神百倍，飞一般跑出去搞酒菜了。
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李虎的确能喝，徐大眼已经喝得舌头打转了，他还一点感觉都没有，反而越喝越清醒》脑清醒了，很多过去模糊的东西也马上清晰了，这时一股强烈的危机直冲心底，让他遍体生寒，情不自禁地打了一个冷战。
徐大眼终于峙不住，倒在地上睡了，胡噜打得震天响。李虎找了件衣服裹上，趴在案几上望着徐大眼，心里不免有些嫉妒。这个狗娘养的鸟人象猪一样，什么都不想，吃饱了就睡，好福气。自己天生的苦命，从记事开始就整天担惊受怕，晚上睡觉都不敢躺着，稍有风吹草动立马逃之夭夭，比山里的兔子还警觉。从海上千辛万苦逃到大山后，原以为可以过点安稳日子，谁知辽东战火连绵，还是心惊胆战≈在就更不要说了，自己少不更事，被罗青汉和铁鹰连哄带骗，稀里糊涂地成了反贼的头子，结果为了活命，不但杀人，还滥杀无辜了。
滥杀无辜是罪孽，今日杀人，明日必被人所杀。老爹讲了很多故事，不管是好人，还是坏人，只要滥杀无辜，只要杀人盈野，最后统统受到了报应，一个个死得很惨，我不会和他们一样吧？
现在自己就面临被杀的握。龙化州是契丹人的根基所在，义军攻陷了龙化城，血洗了东楼，掳掠了钱财，明天还要刨人家的祖坟，烧人家的宫殿，其结果不言而喻，必定会震动京都，激怒辽廷，引来数万甚至数十万大军的围剿。可笑那帮目光短浅的白痴土贼们还在自鸣得意，以为自己发财了，以为自己有实了，岂不知大祸已经临头。
杀人不过头点地，你做得太过了，报应也就来了，所谓得饶人处且饶人，老古话是有道理的，凡是都要预留后路，不要把自己逼上绝境。义军如果再刨人家祖坟，烧人家宫殿，等于自绝后路，但自己说话没份量，那帮杀红了眼的土贼根本听不进去。
最近自己虽然露了两手，但境况并没有得到多大的改善，傀儡还是傀儡，摆设还是摆设，不过也不是一点作用也没有。
露两手需要天时地利人和，一样不可缺，当然了，这其中运气是关键，人没有运气，喝凉水都塞牙，更不要说活命了，我这个人命是苦了一点，不过运气一直很好，尤其最近，运气格外的好。我露了两手，就把那帮土贼震住了x贼就是土贼，以为凭一腔热血就能杀虏复汉，怪不得他们屡战屡败，至今成不了气候。造反也要有头脑，没有头脑你造什么反？那不是找死吗？我有头脑，这是我自小引以为傲的唯一优点，和那帮土贼比起来，我算是天才，而他们不过泛泛之辈。
老爹说过，历史就象一个车轱辘，推动这个车轱辘的人都是天才，显然，我是个天才，那么我是不是应该去推一下这个车轱辘？
过去说这个话，无异痴人说梦，白日做梦，现在不一样，现在我有条件，不管怎么说，我是辽东义军的总帅，虽然至今不过是个傀儡，但我既然能凭头脑击败辽军，当然也能凭头脑做个名正言顺的总帅，关键问题是，我到底想不想做？目的又是什么？
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