第七十一章 总帅挖坑
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虎烈军的将帅们听说要攻打山城,都很害怕,觉得李虎脑子坏了,完全没有理智。龙腾小说ltxsba.com
你想想,山城有耶律马哥和三万五千军队,就像一只凶猛的大老虎,而虎烈军才四千多人马,刚刚在广平淀又打了一仗,筋疲力尽,就象一只受伤的小兔子。
兔子和老虎能比吗?就算耶律马哥中伏了,你怎么打?干瞪眼嘛,根本无从下手。结果李虎一句话就把他们说服了,“龙化城好不好打?不好打。谁把它打下来了?我。我是谁?神仙的儿子。我是神仙的儿子,无所不能,一个小小的耶律马哥算什么?手到擒来,比捏死一只蚂蚁还简单。”
众人一想,对啊,怎么把这茬给忘了,人家是神仙的儿子,跟着神仙的儿子混,怕个屁啊,胆子顿时就大了,尤其想到攻克山城后又能缴获大量的钱财物资,贼心“呼啦”一下就膨胀了,走,挖坑杀人去。
到了山城附近,还没露脸呢,斥候来报,辽军撤出山城,耶律马哥跑了。
嗬……这仗打的,舒服啊,这样下去,发了,就算将来义军败亡了,回家也能做个土财主。虎烈军士气高昂,扛着大旗,高高兴兴地到了山城城下,他们也不攻城,先忙着扎营,李虎就是这么吩咐的。
这营还没扎好,地就开始抖了,嗬……铁骑呼啸而至。咦?不对,怎么都是金狗?大家吓了一跳,胆小的抱着脑袋就跑,再仔细一看,倒,原来是自己的马军,指挥使木桃李那个狗娘养的丑八怪正龇牙裂嘴,像个土狗一样抱着肚子笑呢。
虚惊一场。木桃李的事还没有干完呢。他带着一千多骑卒穿营而过,换了一身衣服,然后轰隆隆的又跑到城下绕了一圈……
十几圈跑下来,步军将士开始骂了,狗娘养的马军,吃饱了撑的,没事跑来跑去干什么?显摆啊?有六条腿了不起啊?你看这满天的灰尘,还让不让人活了?
马军也在骂,把木桃李的祖宗八代都骂遍了,你个土狗,晚上没女人干精力旺盛啊?有力气你去找女人折腾去,不要折腾我们啊?还有这马,你看跑得,白沫都出来了。老子的马要是有个三长两短,你个土狗的鸟蛋休想保住,非要挖出来吃了。
木桃李更是气疯了,他现在变成名副其实的土狗了,伸长个舌头直喘气,他也在骂,骂李虎,你个狗娘养的猪头,你当我是猴子啊,没事耍着玩?要我来来回回跑一百趟,这人就算抗得住,马也受不了啊,你想让我死啊。不就是上次赢了你两个钱嘛,至于这样公报私仇嘛。
正骂着呢,滚滚人潮象决堤洪水一般,浩浩荡荡地来了,嗬……那个人山人海,各色旗帜漫山遍野,呐喊声更是震耳欲聋……嗯?不对,再仔细看看,怎么个个惊慌,人人喘气,好象背后有鬼一样,跑得比兔子还快?
一打听,不得了,金狗来了,跟在后面追了一天了,“老子跑得快,两条腿比四条腿还快,狗娘养的追了一天,竟然没追上,哈哈……”人都要倒了,还兴奋得炫耀一下自己的双腿,结实有力啊,比金狗的马跑得还快。高兴,能保住脑袋,不容易,能不高兴嘛。
不知道内情的,魂都吓飞了,金狗来了,那还得了,掉屁股就跑。知道内情的,张嘴就骂上了,李虎你也忒缺德了,你还干什么总帅,干脆改行,去放羊算了。上次你带人冒充辽狗,赶着八万人跑了一天一夜,两百多里路啊,跑死了好几百人,没死的两条腿也快断了。这次你变本加厉了,玩上瘾,又冒充金狗,赶着十几万人跑,一百多里路啊,从早上跑到下午,你瞧瞧这太阳,还在天上挂着呢,人就已经跑到山城了,不知道又跑死了多少人,你还有没有人性啊?
只有木桃李高兴,嘴巴一咧,快活啊,今天走运了,赚了,本来要跑一百趟的,现在十几万人到了,事一半就不用跑了,但他还是歇不下来,他还有事,要带着虎烈骑去迎战金狗,这是李虎交待的重任。你想啊,金狗一直在后面追,你总要想个办法把金狗赶走啊,否则这帮人傻里吧唧的,还要一直跑下去,那谁来包围山城?我的命好苦哦,下次无论如何也不能赢总帅的钱了,就算不小心赢了,也要再输回去,这神可以得罪,但神的儿子却千万不能得罪,县官不如现管啊,老子现在被那个猪头攥在手心里,没办法。
木桃李大手一挥,“虎烈骑,随我杀虏去。小说整理发布于..n”
骂声四起,你个狗娘养的土狗,披上虎皮就以为自己是老虎啊,你不还是一只土狗,你能打得过金狗?要去你自己去,老子不去,老子还要留着脑袋喝酒吃肉,没时间跟你去送死。大家都不去,要跑了。
木桃李有办法,他接着又喊了一嗓子,“总帅挖坑,我们捡便宜,想发财的,跟我走……”
哦,总帅挖坑,原来已经挖好陷阱了,就等着痛打落水狗了,这个便宜不能不捡,“呼啦……”都跟着跑了,一个比一个快,唯恐便宜给别人抢去了。
很快,遇上罗中原了。大家原来都是黑山军的兄弟,见面很亲热,“大哥,金狗呢?”“金狗,哪来的金狗?”
木桃李心知肚明啦,马上告诉自己的部下,我们来迟了,便宜给黑山军的兄弟抢去了,大家回去休息吧,这次真的可以休息了,不用再折腾了。
又上当了。虎烈骑的士卒们气得鼻子都冒烟了,木桃李,你个无耻的土狗,你耍猴啊?你还有没有人性啦?没看到我们都快累死了吗?这次给面子,下次再敢耍我们,割了你鸟蛋。一个个骂骂咧咧的,没精打采,唉声叹气地往回走。
这样不行啦,伤了兄弟们的心,下次再骗就不灵了。木桃李眼珠子一转,狗头一摇,计上心来,“兄弟们,反正闲着也闲着,等下你们在路上逢人就说,金狗已经被总帅打败了,我们虎烈骑在总帅的指挥下,把金狗杀得屁滚尿流……辛苦一下啊,晚上给你们喝酒吃肉,犒赏你们。”瞧土狗这主意,总帅的马屁拍了,总帅交待的事也办了,兄弟们也吃饱喝足了,上上下下都照顾到了,这样的人不当官,谁能当官?
有酒有肉?虎烈骑的士卒们顿时来劲了,这人一辈子忙忙碌碌,说到底不就是为了一张嘴嘛,把嘴巴哄好了,啥事不好说?于是,一个个撒欢儿跑,扯着嗓子吼上了。
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