第七章 李师师
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
我正胡思乱想着,那古装美女盈盈款款地走下楼来,脸上还带着红晕,冲我深施一礼,娇柔无限地说:“师师见过仙境主人。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com”
没跑了,绝对是刘老六领来的新人,但这个老神棍呢?这个叫什么师师的为什么会在我的厕所里?包子又哪去了?
我顾不上问这么多,只觉得“师师”这个名字在哪听过,情急之下忘了该怎么称呼古代女性了,mm?美女?
也不知哪根经抽住了,我随口说的是:“小娘子贵姓啊?”
……然后我马上联想到一个人:满脸淫笑的高衙内,再然后又想起一个同朝代的人,不禁道:“李师师?”
李mm掩口娇笑:“正是。”
呀,要了亲命了,这一笑媚到骨子里去了,不愧是干小姐出身的,郭德纲不是说过么,妓女都是有技术的女人(难怪春晚不让他上),也不知道李mm那个年代讲不讲什么冰火、口爆、sm……
李mm见我瞅着她,露出了白痴一样的微笑,尴尬地轻咳了一声,柔柔道:“承蒙刘仙人(刘老六)引领,到得尊处,适才已拜见过此间仙后,多蒙照顾,不想初来乍到就唐突了主仙(说到这脸红),恕罪则个。”
靠,跟我拽文,我13岁上就熟读《金瓶梅》,15岁初识武藤兰,17岁……呃,说正事吧。
我笑(色)眯眯地说:“别跟我客气,我也不是什么神仙,以后你叫我强哥就行了,刘老六和你嫂子呢?”
李师师满脸迷惘,我只好换个说法:“刘仙人和仙后呢?”
“刘仙人打猎去了,仙后上朝去了。”
所谓的仙后上朝估计是包子上班去了,可刘老六打的什么猎呀?幸好她补充说:“刘仙人走得甚是匆忙,说是有一只叫‘中石油’的怪兽被套住了。”
哦,明白了,刘老六买股票被套牢了,该!
看来刘老六领着李师师来找我,结果碰上包子刚要去上班,俩人谁也没空,包子直当是我朋友,正好李mm内急,包子把人家塞进厕所就自己跑了,那锁估计也是包子帮忙锁的——知我者,包子也。
我这才发现我在沙发里翘着二郎腿,李mm恭谨地站在当地,我几乎就要脱口而出:“来,给爷唱个曲儿……”我估摸着当年的宋徽宗也没这么牛b。
我拍拍沙发:“坐吧妹子,来我这跟谁也别客气,这就是让你享福来的,在我这个地界儿除了杀人放火,你想干什么都行。”
李师师兴奋地说:“这么说我以后都不用吹萧啦?”
我瀑布汗地说:“……当然,你想吹就吹,不想吹可以不吹,科学证明:用那里**并不卫生……”
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