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第十四章 陪你去看兵马俑

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我叹了口气说:“这句话说对了赢哥,有钱在哪都是神仙。更多小说ltxsba.com你能领悟到这句话你就没白在我这待。”

“饿还发现你的威风比起饿来擦(差)远咧,饿当年出气(去)玩气,开道滴就有2000多,你再看看你。”

我郁闷地把半瓶水都灌进去,无语了半天。赢胖子安慰我说:“不过饿还丝(是)喜欢嘴儿(这),再让饿回气饿都不想了。”

这话让我们市长知道了不定多哈屁呢:千古一帝秦始皇,生在旧社会,穿越在现代,在他的治下宁愿改头换面做个普通小市民,这得是多大的政绩啊。

这时包子他们出来了,项羽头顶小红帽,身穿格瓦拉,刘邦穿了一身黄衬衫配黄裤子(看来他还是对黄色比较敏感),包子远远地问我:“咱表妹呢?”

“我来了。”李师师手里提着几本书从书店出来了,荆二傻在她身后跟老板算帐。

我心惊胆战地接过李师师的书,最上面的一本是《家电维修》,汗一下,第二本是《一生必看的600部电影》,再汗一下,最后一本居然是《梁思城中国建筑史》,巨汗。我原本以为她要挑《中国简史》之类的书,那家书店我也逛过,我记得有一本书甚至叫《宋代名妓李师师》,想不到这个丫头简直鬼没影了,她选的这三本书很立体地把现代文明介绍了个全面,看来真是个很难对付的女人。

荆轲兴高采烈地举着一堆票子跑过来,李师师买的都是盗版书,加起来才24(嘿嘿,一本8块,买过盗版的朋友心领神会了)块钱,她看价码大概是从书皮上算的,早知道这么便宜,她肯定会买更多。

我给刚出来的人们一人要了一瓶可乐,让荆轲把钱算了,剩下的都给他了,我得有意识地培养这些人基本的生存常识,要不这一年我得活得多痛苦呀。

包子拉着李师师的手说:“我们要去选几件内衣,你带他们几个再买几套替换的衣服,对了还有牙刷拖鞋什么的,咱们电话联系……”

我一把抓住包子,带着哭腔说:“你可不能丢下我一个人啊!”包子不好意思地看着路人奇怪的目光,使劲掰我的手,我才不管,要我带着这么四位在拥挤的富太路上乱逛,不如找四个生过无数孩子的非洲丛林黑熟女让我精尽而亡,尤其秦始皇尝到了甜头,手特别顺,见什么吃什么,我还得屁颠屁颠过去给钱。

包子纳闷地说:“那你说怎么办,要不一起去?”我使劲点头,李师师咯咯笑道:“表哥表嫂感情真好,一会也离不开。”我瞪了她一眼,就这么会工夫秦始皇又在水果摊上撇了人家一根香蕉……

……我们人手一根香蕉,浩浩荡荡走进了一家女性内衣专卖店,十几排塑料胸模整整齐齐站在我们面前,边上还有两个裸着什么也没有,我紧贴墙边蹲下,把头埋进裤裆。要是只有我和包子,那我完全可以雄赳赳气昂昂地陪着她,有时候还会提出自己的意见——毕竟女人的内衣不是只穿给自己的。

但现在我领着一群男人,跟在两个女人后面,怎么看怎么诡异,这很容易让人产生不好的联想。

我有时候是真的很佩服刘邦的,这厮背着手不紧不慢地跟在两个女孩子身后,不时凑上去看看胸模身上内衣的材料,有几次鼻子几乎埋到看不见了,我就不信他不知道这么干是很丢人的事。项羽显然是在想别的事,当他走到一片波涛汹涌中时才发现不妥,站在当地左顾右盼,个子还那么高,连店外的人也能看见他。荆轲是个好人,但他站的太不是地方了,全店就那么俩什么也没穿的胸模,他为了找半导体讯号居然正好站在那俩东西前面,嘴角露出白痴一样的微笑,跟网上的猥亵男简直就是双胞胎。

赢胖子蹲在我旁边,疑惑地说:“饿咋看着怎么眼嗖(熟)捏?”我脑海里顿时闪现出无比淫荡的场面,嘿嘿笑说:“你那时候是不是看一大群美女跳脱衣舞来着?”赢胖子摇摇头:“饿看滴都是穿衣服滴。”我恍然道:“你是不是想起你的兵马俑来了?”

秦始皇一拍大腿:“就丝(是)滴。你咋撒(啥)都知道?”

我忽然额头冒汗,我想到了一个惊天动地的大事情:秦始皇陵到底在哪,至今还是个谜,虽然比较被认可的说法是骊山墓,但在那里却没有发现秦始皇本人的遗体,而且经证实此墓没有被盗过,那么也就是说骊山墓很可能只是秦始皇为了掩人耳目的一个假墓,那么真墓在哪里?以前世界上没人知道,现在至少有一个是明白人:秦始皇!

我结结巴巴地问:“赢哥,你死以后他们把你埋到哪了你知道吗?”

“挂皮(傻b)么,饿都死咧咋能知道?”

我擦着汗(一会还得买瓶水去),如释重负地说:“不知道也好,省了我一份念想……”

“不过饿死之前,叫他们把饿埋得远儿远儿滴,那个地方饿也就气(去)过一次。”

“骊山……”

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