第十六章 孜然味的杜蕾丝
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我和项羽一上楼就见包子在那颐指气使地指派人干活:“胖子,你把这头蒜拨了;刘季,把鸡蛋搅和匀了;轲子,把米淘了。更多小说ltxsba.com”看见我们上来,包子一指煤气罐:“强子,你看你和大个谁去换了?”
我抓住煤气罐挪了两下,说:“羽哥搭把手,放我肩膀上。”项羽只用了一根指头就把罐子勾在半空中,问:“放哪?”
“……你拎着跟我走吧。”这死心眼劲!他能力拔山兮换个煤气罐还要我扛。
我走在前头,后面一个大个拎着我们家的煤气罐,这感觉怎么就那么好呢?我想起有次去包子家,她家老头子那时还不知道我们的关系,也是要换煤气罐,也是让我帮他往肩上搬,我扛在自己肩膀上的时候老头还真在那撅着呢。
现在可好,家里一没气就让我打的去帮他换,老家伙就跟现在的我一样背着手在前面不紧不慢地溜达,专门穿大街过小巷,还要在某人家门口要逗留一会,因为那人以前跟包子家住对门,从包子三个月头上就预言这孩子以后不好找婆家。
老头对我和包子的关系心知肚明,因为有一次我去吃饭,老头跟我聊足球,聊得正哈屁的时候抽冷子问我:“杜蕾丝新出来一款孜然味的你试过吗?”我想也没想随口说:“那个太贵,我们一般都用……”这时有人进屋了,这个老会计像什么也没发生过一样说:“那厮跟齐达内说的什么?”
可见我的岳父老泰山是一个强人,这老家伙的思维能像被子弹击中的铅笔一样戛然而断,我后来百思不得其解,他知道杜蕾丝并不奇怪,他是怎么想起孜然味的,后来到了夏天我再去他们家,才发现包子她妈有狐臭。
我忽然想起个有趣的事:“羽哥,你当年有孩子吗?”
项羽闷着头说:“有个侍妾给我生过两个儿子。”
我笑道:“这么说你还有可能是包子的三十几代祖宗呢。”
项羽顿时站住,问我:“你这话什么意思?”
我这才意识到自己失口了,项羽如果知道自己现在在距离那个时代2000多年以后,我不知道他会干出什么事情,可以肯定一点就是他不会消停,弄不好会再死一次,而在这一年里他理论上是不能死的,跟我玩无限重生我可受不了。
我的想法是慢慢教他开车,楚霸王再聪明毕竟是几千年以前的人,加上我故意不好好教,要学到包子那个程度怎么也得半年以后了,到时候我破费点油钱,领着他到小学校园里兜几圈,给他来个“乐不思虞。”香车美女,车永远在前,你见过美女给车做模特的,没见过车给美女当陪衬的吧。
话说回来,别看在这已经过了千年,其实项羽离开虞姬也不过就几天时间,所以还有个念想也不奇怪,像他这种事业有成的男人就爱玩个初恋的感觉,可以理解。
我随便敷衍了几句,到了换煤气的地方,我进去付钱,老板的上小学4年级的儿子回来了,手里拍着一个篮球,看见项羽,他后脑勺与地面平行仰视,好奇地说:“叔叔,你是打篮球的吗?”
项羽低头看了看他,走开了——我估计他是怕一不留神把小孩踩死。
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