第三十九章 极品校长
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
老张终于坐在地上,绝望地说:“我这干的什么事呀,晚节不保,晚节不保啊!”
我好奇地问:“怎么,您昨晚没回家?”
老头指着我怒发冲冠地叫道:“你到底想干什么,你这不是害我吗?”然后捶着地带着哭音说,“我是昏了头了,怎么想起当这个名誉校长……”
他要不说我都把这事给忘了,看来还是老一辈人讲究诚信呀。
我充满感情地说:“张校长我真没骗您,我是一心想办学,让那些大老远来的……孩子们有个地方学习,让他们看看咱们时代的精神面貌,我有个想法就是头一年不收任何学费,住宿吃喝全免,您可以监督我,我要是想赚黑心钱天打五雷轰。”
我前面的话任何人听了都知道是在放屁,但无疑最后一句杀伤力太大了,张校长坐在地上仰视着我,惊讶地说:“你真的会这么做?”
我使劲点头。
“那你那个出钱的朋友会同意吗?”
我深沉地说:“我救过他一命,这些钱其实是他的谢礼,我就算扔水里他也不会过问的。”
老张一下站起身,跟我说:“你可别骗我,要是真的你说的那样,你这学校可以先办着,我有几个学生现在在政府部门,我打声招呼,可以先把你当个摆设不理,如果没鬼,手续的事我帮你搞定。你要是敢骗我……”老张说到这忽然声色俱厉起来,“我有几个不成器的学生在道上也是有名的,我宁愿让小项守活寡也得废了你!”
我靠,看不出啊,居然是个黑白两道一踢两开的主!以后我有了儿子也让他当老师去……
回去的路上我还特意去看了看我的帐篷,店老板太可乐了,为了等我或者说为了防我,自己打开一顶帐篷就住在仓库门口,好在现在满大街都是帐篷,一点也不惹眼。
半下午我那1000套“精忠报国”也来了,我让送货的人就码在门口,这街里都是老相识,不大可能有人偷。包子回来看见了也没在意,以为是隔壁小王的货。我在家里养着5人组,在外面租了几百公顷的地盖楼、办学校,个中真相包子完全懵然无知,照她这个马虎劲和我的办事能力,我觉得和网上的mm见个面啥的时机已经成熟,但距离能去玩一夜情还有一段差距。
7月初的天,已经不算长了,8点刚过就黑蒙蒙的了,我真怕刘老六现在就把人给我带来,满大街的居民现在都刚吃了饭在外面一边纳凉一边避震呢。
我真希望我们的公安机关能喜传捷报:江湖骗子刘老六落网。我还抱着不可告人的目的去问过街坊们,说起刘半仙,这些人说法不一,有的说已经流窜到了南方有的说在大水泉附近村民家,真是瞻之在前忽焉在后,我觉得这个老神棍就算不使用法力也比马加爵难抓。
晚饭是我们济济一堂的时候,包子这些日子活得到是很哈屁,除了不能和我嘿咻,无比爱热闹的她像一只进入了澳大利亚草原,看见遍地粪球的屎壳郎一样无忧无虑,她跟项羽还有刘邦开玩笑说:“现在我们这也遭灾了,湖北水退了没,咱们一起去你们那避难吧。”
包子,这是一个从生下来那一刻就惟恐天下不乱的女人。唐僧经历九九八十一难还孙猴儿帮着扛,唐僧本人其实没受什么罪。但包子于我,不但不帮我,还尽给我找事,不过换个角度想想,她是唐僧,我是孙猴儿,这么说的话就没什么语病了。那句话怎么说来着,每个成功男人后背上都背着一个特能祸祸的女人。
她一句话勾起了项羽的心事,这个两米多的巨人放下筷子,幽怨地离开了饭桌。是时候给他买一辆面包车了,不但可以让他有个事忙,而且我也要用。
接下来的等待是漫长的,我虽然让刘老六晚点往过带人,但鉴于以前他的处世习惯,很有可能在下一秒就在楼下喊我,然后身后跟着300个血淋淋的宋朝将士。其实就算他一个人来我以后也不好混了,刘老六的通缉令每天在我们市台《大长今》开始前准时亮相,不知道的人还以为这是《大长今》简体版的封面呢。刘老六的迅速窜红主要是因为我们这个地方,从建国就平静到了现在,跟那帮搞石油的回民沾不上边,东突啥的也不来,这次地震算得上是历史上比较严重的事件,如果不搞点事情让老百姓们转移一下注意力,真怕民心惶惶,而且通缉刘老六也是一种辟谣,刘老六现在就是一个满身大便的土雷,炸不死你也得沾你一身屎。
天完全黑下来以后,老头老太太们扑扇着蚊子都回家睡觉了,我们每天都睡的很晚,秦始皇占用电视在打顶蘑菇,他发誓今天一定要过了8-1的龙宫,荆轲这两天不爱听广播了,因为里面都是关于地震方面的报道和重复的避震知识。
我和刘邦还有两个女的打麻将,刘邦兜里揣了不少老太太的买菜钱,提出要玩带血的,玩了一会等他赢够了就开始给包子点炮,在李师师的抗议下我们索性打对家,刘邦和包子一伙,这次这小子孤掌难鸣,总体来说互有胜负,我看着墙上的时间越来越晚,心也渐渐放了下来。秦始皇打通关之后,李师师先撤出牌局去睡觉了。
我们三个接着斗地主,玩了几把之后包子把牌一扔,愤然离去。把我乐得直夸刘邦——包子一把也没赢才这么早去睡觉的。我最怕包子在场的情况下刘老六喊我,不用问我干什么去,只要往楼下一看那么多人,包子就得崩溃,从前年开始包子就不支持我打群架去了。
等所有人都睡了,已经是半夜2点多了,现在我又开始担心刘老六不来了。我抽了一气烟,实在困得不行了就趴在桌子上迷糊着了,在梦里还听见刘老六鬼鬼祟祟的声音在喊我,然后我就觉得大腿上湿湿的,醒来一看,是我哈喇子掉腿上了,我正打算去洗把脸,好象真的听见一个断断续续的声音在喊我,我趴在窗户上一看,刘老六贼眉鼠眼地观察着四周,一边压住了声音喊我,在他身后和左右,整整齐齐站着300名宋朝的战士!
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