第八十四章 治丧委员会
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
胖子说：“咋能捏，你丝（是）齐王你忘咧？”
我到是没忘，那我跟国家说去，就说秦始皇把山东封给我了，看能不能让我干个省委书记啥的？要不先来个临市长？我估计国家可能不让……
我见五人组里最细心的和鬼点子最多的李师师和刘邦不在，索性把报纸一收说：“今天先休息，咱们明天再从长计议吧。”
我端了杯茶点了根烟溜达进包子她们那个家，像个懒汉一样瘫进沙发，一下把两个女人都挤出半米远，我伸着懒腰问：“刘还没自杀？”
李师师奇怪道：“刘为什么要自杀？”
我说：“祝四萍就是他杀的，然后他为了谢罪就死在祝四萍她们家了。”李师师皱眉说：“不要告诉我结果！”
“就说，最后那个模特跑了，你们家印小天芶延残喘地活着就完了——这是好几年以前的片子了。”我说着话，手习惯性地搂住了包子的腰，包子像小猫一样靠了过来。
李师师忽然说：“这么说表嫂你早就看过了？”
包子说：“是呀。”
“那你还看？”
“你不是爱看吗，我陪着你。”
我跟李师师说：“印小天不是你嫂子喜欢的类型，她喜欢大为。”
李师师眼睛发亮，转过头来刚想说什么，就看见我们亲密地抱在一起，她脸腾一下红了。找了个借口就跑了出去。
包子看了她背影一眼说：“表妹一点也不像个模特。”
我的手开始在她身上游走，问：“那模特应该什么样。一个一个像小骚狐狸一样？”
包子使劲瞟我一眼说：“你能不能把你说话那股口气改改？奔三的人了还像个小流氓一样。”
我说：“当初你不就因为这个喜欢我的吗？难道是因为我扶老太太过马路爱上我的？”
包子靠在我怀里回忆说：“第一次见你，认都不认识你，你就像个流氓一样坐在我对面，要跟老娘玩一个游戏。”
我说：“咱们能不能把那个‘像流氓一样’的修饰语去掉？”
“你把一个硬币夹在手指里然后问老娘问题，还让我每次回答问题前先把硬币拿出来，然后你就问了我两个特别无聊的问题，第三个问题你问我‘第一次做爱跟男朋友说了什么’。你小子阴我，把硬币夹得那么紧，老娘就中了你地计，说‘怎么拔不出来呀’，一说完我就知道上当了，我心说今儿既然碰上流氓了，再绷着也不合适了，就跟你说了句不太含蓄的话。”
我接口说：“你那是不太含蓄吗，你跟我说操你妈——”
包子呵呵呵地笑起来，小心地往门口看了一眼。道：“狗东西你还记上仇了，我那不是气急了吗？”
我抱着包子，感慨道：“说起来咱俩认识地过程也挺浪漫的，不比霸王别姬差啊。”
包子说：“对了，明天我爸叫你去吃个饭，我下午5一回来咱就走。”
我紧张地说：“去干什么？”
包子不满地说：“你慌什么，不就是吃个饭嘛。”
我说：“除了吃饭能说结婚的事不？”
包子横着我说：“那你是怎么个意思，想结不想结？”
“不想结。”
“你再说一遍。”
“……想结。”
包子这才转嗔为喜。
我说：“你爸准备跟我要多少财礼钱？”
“他漫天要价你坐地还钱。难道他要多少你给多少？”
我晕头转向地说：“这难道就是传说中的女生外向，我说你到底是哪头的呀？”
包子抽我一个小巴掌说：“少得了便宜卖乖，主要是我也老大不小的了，其实我爸刁难刁难你也就是为了人前露露脸，他要钱做什么，还不是都贴给了我？”包子忽然想了什么似的说，“我爸虽然知道你是个什么德行。但你明天千万收敛着，别跟个二杆子似地。”
我说：“我再怎么说也是个经理，到是你得小心，别说话没着没沿的，你爹还以为我把你带坏了呢。”
包子妩媚地看我一眼，说了一句话：“跟你睡了两年，你难道还不了解老娘的为人？”
我：“……”
包子她爸要有良知就不该跟我要财礼钱，要知道我在认识包子以前也就是不着调了一点，说话注意着呢，自从跟她睡了这两年。嘴上没了把门的，什么都往出冒。
明天，无论如何得把项羽推到第一线上去让他和张冰见面，然后去和项老会计拼个刺刀见红，总之明天一天我都得和姓项的周旋到底了。
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