第九十五章 赵白脸
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每个女人都该有套婚纱？这么小资的调调她是从哪学的？是打算离了再用还是穿着去菜市场？不过她有资格这么说，她作为结婚礼物送给我们那颗珠子如果换成婚纱，起码能把两个集团军银妆素裹起来。
那颗珠子包子已经戴过了新鲜，随便地扔在抽屉里，不过那到不失为一个安全的地方，就算进来贼，没有副教授以上水平，值钱东西一件也拿不走。谁能想到当初荆轲用来刺秦的匕首已经被削了土豆皮，穿了条红绳子扔在抽屉里的是宋徽宗的备用帽珠？
吃饭时间到了，我趴在窗户上喊：“轲子，吃饭！”傻正在和赵大爷儿子赵白脸“练剑”，俩人人手一把个地方撩得鸡飞狗跳尘土四起，我喊完赶紧把窗户关结果不一会俩人都上来了，荆轲亲热地拉着赵白脸的手，跟我说：“让他也在咱们家吃饭吧。”
我和包子顿时面面相觑起来，如果是智力正常的人，你招呼他“欢迎欢迎”，他必然得说“不了不了，我还有事”，就算没饭辙了想跟这吃，也还跟你客气几句，可这傻子不一样，在这吃顺嘴了以后天天来怎么办？我们这婚纱还没置办先多一个儿子——赵白脸比我还大一岁呢。
可是我们能怎么办？我们这香喷喷的饭菜摆了一大桌，傻子看得口水都流出来了，你把他赶出去？反正这事我干不出来。事实证明我干不出来的事包子就……
更干不出来了，她冲俩傻子说：“洗手去。”
赵白脸洗了手，端起碗来就吃，除了偶尔冲二傻笑笑，跟别人一句话也没有，坏了，两个傻子别是搞背背呢吧？
我笑着问二傻：“轲子，最近剑法大成没？”
荆轲愣了一下，他可没傻实心，隐约觉着我没什么好意，与赵白脸相视一笑，居然有点心有灵犀的意思。
我拿出手机，把手伸在桌下悄悄对着赵白脸使用了一个读心术，等拿出来一看我大吃一惊——死机了！
省略号……死机……这两个傻子是我这手机的地狱啊！
晚上9点多的时候项羽还没有回来，最先坐不住的居然是刘邦，他边看表边说：“项大个儿不会真的开房去了吧？”他之所以这么说是因为他知道项羽不会这么做，这就应了那句话：最了解你的，往往是你的敌人。
正说着，楼下传来汽车的声音，过了一会项羽缓缓走上楼来，他换了鞋，挂好衣服，走过来端起桌上的水一口喝干，我忙问：“刚和张冰分开？”
项羽点点头：“刚把她送回宿舍。”
“怎么样啊？”刘邦问道。
项羽冲他淡淡笑了笑，忽然扫见了桌上那些照片，他随意地拿起来看着，然后把其中两张倒扣起来，说：“这俩人有女朋友了。”他慢慢解着衬衫上的扣子，站起身往卧室走：“我先睡了，明天说好接她一起去看爷爷的。”
刘邦看着他的背影，直到他进了屋，关上门。刘邦猛的回头，小声跟我说：“情绪不怎么高啊，难道是彻底没戏了？”
我托着下巴说：“不能，一个女孩子，第一次约会就能和你待到这么晚，不可能没好感的。”
刘邦说：“难道是张冰跟他说‘我只把你当哥哥’，还是直接说了‘你是个好人’？”
我冷笑数声道：“也不可能！”我把那两张被项羽扣过去的照片扔在刘邦面前说，“你说大个儿是怎么知道这俩人有女朋友的？他不可能追着人家问吧，那只能是张冰告诉他的，张冰为什么这么做？就是因为怕和她打招呼的男生太多引起大个儿的不快，所以才会说些看似没用的废话。”
刘邦惊讶地看着我，说：“张冰上辈子是不是虞姬我不知道，你上辈子肯定是张良！”
我觉得当张良在刘邦面前挺吃亏的，于是马上说：“老子上辈子是诸葛亮。”
结果发现更吃亏，当张良还只是给他打工，当诸葛亮成了给他三孙子打工了。
可是项羽为什么不高兴呢？更准确地说，是没激情。
可以理解，当年他是纵横天下的枭雄，虞姬是像罂粟一样剧毒和美丽的女人，在那动乱的年代，一觉醒来，敌人已经杀到眼前，于是两个人披着蚊帐杀将出去，是何等的豪情，可现在，一个身份是包子铺老板，一个用秦始皇的话说是小吏的孙女儿，怎么可能再找到那种烽火连三月的感觉嘛！现在和平和发展才是主旋律——伊拉克那边都快撤兵了。
而且美感这种东西，只能发现不能找，把戒指放在冰激凌里给未婚妻一个惊喜，看着固然有美感，但要遇上包子这种最后几口端杯倒的，那就非出人命不可。
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