第五章 呼延大嫂
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“因为郁闷地紧,所以他们也去喝酒了——他们其实是先走的。”
我:“……那有没有既没觉得应该庆祝也没觉得郁闷的兄弟呢?”
“有啊,有不少呢。”
“那他们呢?”
“他们一看大家都去喝酒了,就跟着去了……”
我抓狂道:“你跟我说他们都去喝酒了不就完了?”段景住不说话,那边传来抽鼻子声。
我这才关切地问:“那你怎么不去?”
“我在看《蓝色生死恋》,太他妈感人了,55555。”段景住号啕大哭。
放下电话,转过身,寥落地背对着空阔的会议室,一着一帮酒鬼站在武林大会的风口浪尖上,想不仆街都难呐,我此刻情不自禁地想象自己就是当年垓下的羽哥,手握剑柄身披大氅,坚毅的脸上看不出任何表情,胸膛里的豪迈和妥协激战正猛,虞姬幽幽怨怨却又死志早萌,她一边舞剑一边唱道:“汉兵已掠地,四面楚歌声。大王意气尽,贱妾何聊生。”楚霸王我羽哥心中思量:活着还是死去,这是个问题……
老虎领着人往楼上走的时候路过空荡荡的会议室,他探着脑袋往里面环视了一圈,对正在沉浸在悲壮中的我说:“会议室借我用用呗?”
……然后我就看老虎给徒弟们讲注意事项,作战前动员,我听了一会很自觉地把门从外面给他们关上了。
那天晚上我像个老古董催深夜未归的女儿回家一样催他们回来,得到的第一答复是:正在听安道全讲他和12个红颜知己的故事第9了……
第二个答复是:场子里正有个华丽丽的小妞跟杜兴飙舞,我说我也要去看,他们说,哎不早说,快完了。
第三个答复是:马上就走了,等去厕所的人呢。
第四个答复是:去厕所的人排队呢……
我半个小时一个电话,把包子看得纳闷地说:“这人到底欠你多少钱呀?”
结果等我睡着他们都迟迟未归,也不知是夜里还是凌晨,走廊里一阵踢踏,好象是回来了一批,我这才心下稍安,我还以为明天的比赛我得领着俩傻子上阵呢,项羽明确表态,比武大会他没兴趣。
天一亮我就踢开所有有人的房间,结果搜罗出来的人让我大失所望,原来昨天夜里回来的是吴用、金大坚、萧让这些身体吃不消的老弱,送他们回来的,是金钱豹子汤隆,而且这小子也喝多了,一下出租车就把自己吐成了斑点狗。
我看了看眼前这几个人,示意军师和萧让他们可以继续睡觉,然后领着红着眼睛的段景住和走路还有点晃悠的汤隆往体育场走,当然还有金大坚是必不可少的,我还得要他给我办证呢。
我沉着脸,把他们带到刘秘书给我准备好的办公室里,看看表是7点20多分,但已经跟平时8的时候人一样多了,会场的四面、观众席里、主席台边上都架起了摄象机,各个地方台的记者们东一拨西一拨地已经开始采访,在体育场辽阔的场地上,除了中央空出一片地方,在一夜之间四周搭建起了几十个临时比赛围拦,都大约半尺高,底座上编着号码,看来因为人多的缘故,要多场比赛同时进行。
工作人员找到我,要我把今天参赛的选手名单给他,再派一个代表去抽签,8整的时候在场地中央所有选手集合,迟到10钟者按弃权处理。
我把萧让编的8单人赛名字随便抄了4个给他,然后让他去抽签。
当金大坚把段景住和汤隆的证压出来以后汤隆才有点反应过来,他一把拉住我说:“你不是想让我上吧?”
我冷冷说:“你为什么不能上?”
汤隆飘来荡去地说:“我走直线还晃呢!”
我说:“那我不管,谁让你的哥哥们不管你呢。”
汤隆一把抢走我的电话,快速拨号,然后大喊:“俊义哥哥救命,你们再不回来就见不到我啦!”
不一会段景住抽签回来,拿着对阵表,我把刚做出来的身份证给他,跟他说:“现在开始,你就叫张小二了。”段景住想不到自己这么个各项本事都稀松的小幺弟还能代表梁山参加比赛,到是很乐意,汤隆一看时间都快8了,一溜烟跑出去买了几个茶鸡蛋吃,说:肚里空空的没食,一会怕打不过人家。看着怪可怜的,不过梁山的人也太可气了,不让他们知道我的手段,这以后的比赛那就没法弄了。
很快大喇叭里就广播,让各参加过抽签的选手到场地中央集合,汤隆吞下最后一个茶鸡蛋,噎得一愣一愣对我说:“我能不去吗?”
我倒了杯水给他,他以为有门,满是希翼地看着我。我说:“我到是想替你去,可我要死了就没人给你们钱让你们再去梁山了。”
汤隆幽怨地看了我一眼,毅然地跟着段景住往外走,我在他身后喊:“记住,你现在的名字叫呼延大嫂——”
[记住网址龙腾小说ltxsba.com]
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