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第十一章 公孙智深

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第一场团体赛之后,第二天又是单人赛,这回我们轻车由张顺先去抽签,阮氏兄弟顶盔贯甲做着准备,还有一个名额没定下来,我的意思是随便派个人去,结果好汉们又起了争执,这几天这些人闲得够戗,所以他们认为去擂台上活动活动手脚是件好玩的事情,本来谁也不热心的事,这回是抢着要去,吵了半天也没有头绪,张顺已经回来了,他带上阮家兄弟,跟我说:“我们先去报到,你们快点。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com”

我见时间还早,就裁了一堆条子,在其中一张上做了记号然后让他们抽,神机军师朱武举着条子跳了起来,大喊:“我中了我中了。”拿过他的一看,上面写着大大一个“中”字,他飞快地抓起防护服,生拉硬拽地就往自己身上穿,我一把把他扯住:“老朱你少跟我耍小聪明,这字儿是你自己写的吧?”

朱武嘿嘿一笑:“那么认真干什么,谁去不是去呀?”

这时井木犴郝思文看着自己手里的纸条纳闷道:“这是什么东西?”

众人围过去一看,见他的条子上画着一个红脸蛋大嘴叉的小人,十分骚情地摆成一个“大”字。我挤进人群,大声宣布:“恭喜郝思文哥哥抽签得中。”

朱武失魂落魄地说:“真想不到小强抽个签居然画了幅春宫。”

我一边把他身上的防护服扒下来一边鄙夷道:“那是扑克牌里的小丑好不好?”

等郝思文穿戴好,我看看表,把他推向门外说:“快走吧。又迟到了。身份证马上办好给你送过去。”郝思文急匆匆地低头往外走,正和一个进门的人撞了个满怀,这人有一双漂亮地杏核眼。身材高挑,只是头皮得锃明刷亮,郝思文看看不认识,推了这人一把,急道:“闪开点。”

这人一把拿住郝思文地腕子,问:“你上哪去?”

这时好汉中有人惊道:“三妹?”

仔细来人。这才发现居然是扈三娘!郝思文终于也认出了她,失笑道:“你怎么成了这样了?”

扈三娘得意地摸了摸自己的光头:“你们不是说我头发太长不能比赛吗,我剃了。”她看看郝思文的装扮,说,“你这是要比赛去?”郝思文点头。扈三娘冲我说,“算我一个。”

我摊手道:“没名额了,郝大哥是最后一个。”

扈三娘理所当然地跟郝思文说:“那你别去了,让给我。”

“这……”郝思文有点傻了。

扈三娘把美目一瞪。阴森森说:“难道你还想跟我抢?”

思文打了个寒战,当年他和扈三娘交过手,没几回合就被活擒了,这才上山当了土匪。看来他对扈三娘还是心有余悸,扈三娘也不罗嗦。三两下把他地防护服扒下来穿在自己身上,问我:“比赛用的什么名字?”

我看了一眼名单说:“公孙智深!”

扈三娘凭空一个踉跄,劈手夺过名单指着几个名字说:“用别的行不?”

“别的已经被张顺他们顶上了。”

扈三娘带着哭音说:“公孙智深太难听了,你给我留个呼延大娘也行啊——”

我说:“呼延大娘被汤隆打没了,就剩公孙智深了。”

扈三娘一跺脚:“我认了!”说罢泪奔着找张顺他们会合去了。

朱武看看呆若木鸡的郝思文还说呢:“早知道让我上不就没事了,谁也没落着好吧?”

经过随机分组,张顺、阮小五和扈三娘的比赛排在上午进行,所有选手根据擂台号再次进行集合,拍照留念后各自回去准备比赛,阮小二因为上午比不成,心情极度不爽,回到观众席后一边脱护具一边骂骂咧咧地说:“照个毛地相,又不认识,还得搂着肩膀假笑,还得喊茄子,为什么不喊麻花?”

我说:“你没觉得人喊茄子的时候口型最好看吗?”

阮小二忿忿道:“好看个屁,我觉得人喊我立刻露出了男人那种特有的淫笑:“想不到二哥也是此道中人,那你觉得‘爹’怎么样,亚麻爹?”

阮小二莫名其妙地说:“什么乱七八糟的,我说的‘啊’是:杀啊——”

……

也不知道是不是有意的安排.我们的三个选手擂台又离得十万八千里,好汉们分成三拨助阵,我和汤隆戴宗几个来在扈三娘身边给她打气,上场比赛一完,裁判冲一群准备中地选手喊:“下一场,由选手……”扈三娘一看是自己的号码,急忙起身用一只手挡住脸冲裁判叫道:“是我是我,别念名字了。”

裁判压根不理她,大声念了出来:“公孙智深,对2188选手——”人群里冲出一条铁塔般的黑大汉,粗声粗气嚷:“是我是我,别点名了。”

裁判依然我行我素:“——方小柔,请双方选手上台见礼。”

台下等待比赛的选手们和几个看热闹地这时才看清擂台上比赛的两个人一个是位漂亮姑娘另一个是条大汉,又知道一个叫方小柔一个叫公孙智深,自然按着性别和正常地思维逻辑把两个名字对号入座了,而公孙智深这名字仍旧引起了一片哄笑。

黑大汉方小柔和以公孙智深之名作战的扈三娘对望了一眼,还没开打就有了几分惺惺相惜,俩人同时祈祷裁判千万别再点名,就这样误会着挺好。

但这位裁判显然极负责任,他检查完选手的身份证,本来比赛就可以开始了,他非得再念一遍:“2188号汉,台下已经开始有人笑,裁判继续道。“1207选手公孙智深——”说着一指扈三娘。“核对无误,比赛开始。”

扈三娘和方小柔无奈地相互看看,然后开始对打。可台下却一直不能安静,有人道:“我不是听错了吧,那男的叫方小柔?”选手甲说:“肯定是裁判说反了。”围观众甲说:“我想也是,女孩子怎么可能叫公孙智深这么个名字呢?”选手乙道:“这有什么,前天我还见过有个男的叫呼延大嫂地呢。”汤隆急忙把脸转向一边。围观众乙说:“别吵别吵,会再听裁判念名字。”……

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