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第一章 狼图腾

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大家好,我叫小强,想从头听我的故事吗?

我真倒霉,真的。更多小说ltxsba.com……

是的,第二卷开场白也是这样,那时候你们要想从头听40万字,现在还想从头听是80万字,我将在书评区发一个投票,:_朋友可以再开一个高v号从头订阅一遍——

上回说到我和项羽千辛万苦得来的诱惑草唤醒了一个千古大盗柳下,他哥就是那个一直被人们所称道的坐怀不乱柳下惠,这兄弟俩何以都如此变态,我想这就得归结于当时教育的失败了。

说到教育,我始终没忘了自己的新身份,我是育才光荣的一员,说真的,打死我也没想到自己最后居然投身了教育事业,我喝到医院输纯氧那次也没想到!

费三口跟我说了,育才现在直属国家教育部,育才的校长性质和北大清华的校长是一样的,换言之,育才的校长和北京市长是平起平坐的,但由于育才的建成完全是一个无心之失,导致它直到现在也没有正式的校长一职,我一心想把为教育事业兢兢业业奋斗了一辈子的老张扶上这个位置,但他的身体确实是做不了主,老张已经出院回家静养了,而育才的法人代表是我,所以,我,萧强,就成了育才的掌门人,一个开着一辆早已报废的破金杯、喜欢在公共场合抽烟吐痰、吃完饭喜欢问人家服务员小姐电话,然后再问不开发票能不能打折的混混。一个理论上能和我们省长平起平坐的……啊就混混。

不过费三口又跟我说了,因为育才牵涉到一定的国家机密并且有军方地参与,所以我这个校长注定不会像别的高校领导人那样拥有高暴光率。最多在本市范围内参加一下植树节、学雷峰日和在党的生日那天出席一下座谈会,可是这也够我呛的,我这个人只要参加三个人以上的聚会,最大的爱好就是坐在桌子上抽烟吹牛,要是规定只能坐在凳子上,不出10秒我就会睡着。虽然我们这是个小地方,但市长在边上讲话你闷头睡觉肯定也是不合适的,要说对外交际。秦桧和苏武都有着丰富的经验,但是一个外表光鲜之下满肚子都是丧权辱国地心思,让秦桧代表育才出去办点事我真怕他参加个妇代会的工夫就把我们学校按福利房的价钱卖给别的民营企业家;苏武梗直到是够了,就是形象不怎么样,活脱一个来发表感言的被救助站帮助过的盲流代表。

好汉们和四大天王他们已经于上个礼拜出发去新加坡了,用王寅的话说,他要和好汉们再赛一赛谁拿的金牌多,对这个提议我大力支持。多好啊,透着那么奋进要强积极向上,像幼儿班小朋友互相竞赛谁地小红花多一样,我不该多说一句话。我说拿多少金牌我不在乎,你们两家就比比谁给我惹的麻烦少吧,结果好汉们顿时不干了,他们叫嚷着说他们人多,这么比不公平,瞧那意思非得特批几个惹事名额不行。

随行的还有曹冲,他现在和程丰收形影不离,别说比和我亲,我看比曹操也不差。借这个机会让小家伙出去见见世面也好,还有一个家属是方腊他老婆,这个朴实的劳动妇女得到了四大天王地格外敬重,不知道是方腊没把话说清楚还是他自己就对新加坡缺乏了解,方大嫂出发那天背了一个大包,里面带着用军用水壶灌的橘子水。面包、火腿肠,还有一堆洗好的黄瓜和柿子,完全是一副参加单位组织的郊游的样子。最后临走我还从扈三娘那没收了半包口香糖,因为我听说在新加坡好象有明文规定禁止嚼口香糖,无形之中就给梁山省了一个惹事名额。

这些人一走,学校顿时空落和安静下来,每天只有徐得龙一早带着孩子们出操,剩下的时间就是由颜景生安排他们上文化课。

至于何天窦那,完全没了下文,我猜这和他失去了战略目标有关系。这说明我把好汉们支到国外去是很明智的,再一个,我揣测他手里的药也不多了。

所以这段时间我过得很平静,几乎恢复到了以前无所事事的状态,每天就坐在当铺地一楼发呆,玩扫雷,再么就是看二傻和赵白脸抄着笤帚乱打一气,刘邦和黑寡妇双宿双飞,偶尔帮着凤凤出出主意,在汉高祖雄图大略的帮助下,凤凤已经抢占了本市盗版成衣业7成的市场,依着凤凤,小富则安,但刘邦义正词严地告诫她,只有真正壮大自己才是王道,所以两人开始涉足正版,就是从国外购买一种高密度的缝机,请来大批的熟练工,做出质量跟正版一模一样的衣服来——其实还是盗版。

项羽最近消沉得厉害,虽然经常开着我地破金杯出去兜风,他好象已经放弃了复苏虞姬计划,那天回来的路上,他只跟我说了一句话:“这就是天意。”

至于秦始皇,现在他玩游戏的过程简直能拍成视频放到网上去,就拿超级玛丽来说,从第一部第一关开始到最后一关,他能不吃金币不吃光靠一通跑来通关,而且还是还是按着单发暴走模式,那些会飞的王八,扔斧头的猴子什么的完全是摆设。有时候玩魂斗罗,你看他该开枪开枪,该,再看胖子,闭着眼玩的。一个把游戏熟悉到这种起来当然是没什么趣味了,所以胖子也开始百无聊赖起来,经常甩着胳膊到楼下溜达,我想近期内最好给他找个干的,否则这种人闲起来很容易出事,他老惦记着把不说汉语的人都“统一哈(下)”,说好听点是极端地民族主义者,其实就是战争狂人,而且他发动战争的理由比希特勒还法西斯,我估计他到楼下溜达就是找活的兵马俑去了。

这天我正在楼下坐着呢,接到李师师的电话。说她和金少炎已经先剧组一步到达开封了,准备在那里拍外景。

这就奇怪了,既然准备在那里拍外景,为什么要先剧组一步去呢?一听就是金少炎那小子在使诡计。

这时包子从楼上下来准备上班去,听说是李师师地电话,就坐在我腿上听着,我问李师师:“金少炎在你旁边吗?”

“不在,他去领房门钥匙了。怎么了?”

“你们俩人开了几间房?”

李师师:“两间吧……”

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