第三章 我要做女人
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“那怎么说……”
我低着头道：“小学时候文艺汇演，我们班男生比女生多俩，队伍排不齐，我那会头发长，到演出那天老师就给我画上红嘴唇扎着小辫儿把我拉到女生那排了，反正观众和舞台离得老远也没人能发现。”
花木兰呵呵一笑：“那你也算为集体立功了。”
“是，最后老师还特意给我开地批斗会。”
“批斗？你不是小功臣吗？”
—
“……我要不带着外校的小女生上厕所确实是功臣。”
“怎么回事？”
“外校的女同学想上厕所不认识路，我给当向导来着。”
“那怎么了，你不是在帮助别人吗？”
我感慨良深道：“千不该万不该，我不该跟着进去了……”
木兰不愧是军人出身，神经比较大条，问：“你进去干吗？”
“从来没进去过，好奇。”我追忆往事，款款道：“其实一开始我也没想进去，可是那个外校的女同学她说一个人不习惯，非要我陪着她。”
木兰想了想道：“哦对，你当时也是女孩儿打扮，那后来怎么被人识破了，你……不会是站着尿的吧？”
我抓着头发痛苦地回忆：“我没尿——我进去以后才发现女厕所根本没尿池子，主要是给我化妆的女老师在里头蹲着呢……”
木兰愣了一下，哈哈大笑起来，她随手抓过毛巾擦着头发，拍着我肩膀说：“我还说女孩子要长成你这样怎么嫁人呢。”
我小声嘀咕：“那是你没见我们家包子。”
“什么，谁是包子？”
我苦着脸道：“我没过门地媳妇。”
木兰忙问：“是不是让你带路那个小女孩？我看她除了你也不能嫁别人了。”
一句话惊醒梦中人，我摸着下巴想：是呀，当初那女孩儿长得多水灵，怎么就忘了联系了呢——看来还是古代好，一个女人被男人沾衣捋袖之后不自杀就得嫁给这男的，我要是生在那个时代每天抡着王八拳在街上逛两圈，哪个月不收几百老婆？
我笑眯眯地说：“花姐，照你这么说你洗澡的时候都被我看了是不是只能嫁给我了？”
花木兰一点也不生气，风趣道：“不先把进男厕所的毛病改了我还不能嫁人。”她问我，“你是不是快成亲了？”
我正色道：“对了，正好跟你说这事，我们那口子回来你就跟她说是我表姐，特意从外地赶来参加我们婚礼的，她什么也不知道……”我把包子的情况跟她一说，花木兰点头道：“行，那你以后就叫我姐吧。”
我们来到楼下，花木兰往沙发上盘腿一坐，用手抖着湿漉漉的头发，我问她：“姐，这一年有什么打算？”
花木兰滞了一滞，莫名地感伤道：“打了这么多年仗，几乎忘了自己是谁，现在，我想做一回女人。”花木兰见我眼神异样，随即翘起一条腿，把胳膊肘支在上面，爷们气十足，自嘲地笑道：“呵，是不是很难？”
我连忙说：“你其实很漂亮，绝对算得上美女！”
花木兰把手一挥：“切，你见我这么黑的美女吗？”
原来她对自己的肤色没有自信，说实在的，她是比那些都市白领皮肤颜色深了一些，但配上她干练豪爽地军人作风，就显出一种格外的成熟和野性美，比那些标榜个性、无病呻吟的野丫头高出不止一个档次。
通过闲聊我才知道，花木兰从军12年回家不久之后就病是打仗的时候就染上了很严重的胃病，所以顶如是她刚从战场上下来就离开了人世，只留下了一个千古美名和给花家的世代荣耀，根本没来得及享受这一切，所谓“当窗理云鬓，对镜贴花黄”只是后代诗人的一种美好想象而已，更别说嫁人什么的了。所以，木兰才有了这么一个愿望：做一回女人。
问题是做女人咱不专业呀。如果李师师要在的话或许还能帮上一点忙，打扮、礼仪、这些都是她的强项。
我只能安慰她说：“放心吧，别说你本来就是女的，就算你是男的我也能让你做一回女人。”
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