第一百一十九章 招安
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武松同学这会思路非常敏捷，信口道：“那就答应他呗，咱们招安说到底为的是能不用在对付方腊地时候腹背受敌，等打完方腊咱们再反上梁山不迟。”
众人都道：“好办法。”
宋江：“……”
不一会两个喽罗押着一个半大老头走了进来，这老头抖抖索索却又强自镇定，穿了一身都是鸟地官服，官帽却不见了，他一看大厅上聚了一百多号凶神恶煞似的人物，腿肚子一个劲转筋，不过他来前就做过心理准备，所以勉强还能对付着站直了。
还不等宋江问话，张横玩他弟弟地手机不小心把公放打开了，一个愣头愣脑的声音唱道：“他大舅他二舅都是他舅！”
王老头一听终于再也受不了扑通一声跌坐在那里，众人齐瞪张横，张顺忙抢过手机关好。
宋江温言道：“王大人莫惊，我梁山地小人薄，兄弟们多为草莽出身，不曾见过大场面，不知大人此来有何贵干？”
王太尉脸色惨白，面部表情抽搐，挣扎了一下没挣起来，索性就坐在地上虚弱地说：“我是奉皇上旨意（说着拱拱手，但是怎么看怎么像冰河世纪里那只抱着松子的耗子）前来招安尔……众位的。”
董平痛快道：“行啊，我们刚才商量过了，同意招安。”
他突然耍贫嘴似的来这么一句，王太尉哭丧着脸道：“这位好汉休得说笑，我王某虽然命悬你手，可终究食君俸禄，不能眼见你拿圣旨当儿戏。”
好汉们见他误会了自己的好意，七嘴八舌道：“没骗你，是真的。”
王太尉都快哭了，在他看来这帮土匪这么跟他耍笑，只怕他也离死不远了。
宋江又是挥手又是咳嗽好不容易使场面安静下来，这才换上一副笑模样跟王太尉说：“王大人不必多疑，我等虽然暂居梁山看似不服教化，可那都是被奸佞所迫，心中着实祈垂圣眷……”
方镇江不耐烦道：“总之就是同意招安一句话嘛，说那么多干什么。”在座的敢这么顶宋江的也只有他了，其他人心里暗爽表面上都道：“听大哥把话说完。”
宋江吃了这么一顶，噎住不知道该说什么了，王太尉察言观色终于得出一条对自己有用的结论：这帮土匪说不定真的想招安——于是试探性道：“皇上说了，诸位英雄若真有意招安暂且不必进京面圣，可带本部人马即刻起程去往江南征讨方腊，特封宋义士为征北先锋，待方腊平后加封保义郎，上汴京谒圣。”
众人大喜道：“这可真是瞌睡给了个枕头。”
宋江面向北叩拜道：“臣，征北先锋宋江谢主隆恩。”
王太尉见大厅里有笑的有聊天的还有磕头的，场面极度混乱，可是有一点是可以确定的，这帮土匪并没有勃然大怒，既没有人上来揪打也没人割自己耳朵，不禁暗叹祖坟冒烟rp爆发。
因为就算是个白痴都能听出宋徽宗所谓的招安根本没有丝毫的诚意，什么征北先锋保义郎不但都是虚名，就算正式入编那也是不入流的小吏，让梁山先行征讨方腊云云更是一相情愿不知所谓，可以说，这基本上就是皇帝被逼急了抱着死马当活马医态度的一次无营养的试探。
王太尉小心翼翼地爬起来，见真的没人虐待他，脸上逐渐有了血色，底气也足了：“尔等且去沐浴更衣，待三柱香后我再来正式宣读圣旨。”
一片乱哄哄的声音吵道：“读个毛啊，就那点事，我们知道就行了。”
王太尉见众人对皇上殊无敬意，赶紧又放下架子，赔笑道：“说的是，说的是。”
当下王太尉由宋江亲自陪同前往梁山馆驿开贵宾房，王太尉在梁山如在云端，踏着蹬云步迷迷糊糊地跟在宋江身后，嘴里像念经一样念叨：“我真的猜不透你们，我真的是猜不透你们啊……”快走到厅外的时候，终于鼓起勇气回头跟我们说：“你们不会是想假装招安然后造反吧？”
扈三娘道：“你傻b啊，方腊在南汴梁在北，你看我们往哪打不就知道了？”
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