第一百四十章 牛屎锤
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谁知李元霸却像没什么兴趣似的一摆手：“不去！”
“……为什么呀？”难道听了玄奘两天课，这呆霸王还真立地成佛了？
李元霸拽着衣角郁闷道：“除了宇文小子。谁也接不住我三招两式，打架一点意思也没有。”宇文成都笑骂道：“把你狂地！”
我拉着他。像怪叔叔诱惑小loli一样循循善诱道：“这回这个人可厉害呢，吕布听说过没？”
李元霸茫然道：“吕布，什么东西？”
这时秦琼他们一听吕布的名字也都围了过来，程咬金一拍李元霸脑袋道：“傻小子，吕布是三国第一猛人。”
听到“第一猛人”这四个字，李元霸眼睛大亮道：“真地？”
秦琼小声问我：“怎么跟吕布打上了？”
我叹气道：“一言难尽，以后让秀秀跟你们详细解释，现在我马上就得带着元霸去三国。”
秦琼道：“三国？我最敬佩的关羽关二哥不就在三国吗？”
我笑道：“关二哥临走也很想见见你秦二哥。”
秦琼受宠若惊道：“那我跟你去。”
我挠头道：“不大好吧？”虽然秦琼他们不回唐朝就应该没问题，可现在这个关头还是多一事不如少一事。
秦琼指指李元霸道：“那个小子必须得有个人看着。否则容易出事，好在他对我的话还是比较听的。”
我也听玄奘说过，秦琼因为对李家有恩，李渊早在李元霸去平十八路反王的时候就告戒他不许伤害秦琼，而李元霸最怕的就是他这个爹，所以对秦琼的话是言听计从。
听秦琼这么说，我也怕这呆小子收拾不住。只好说：“那就麻烦二哥跟我跑一趟吧。”
一时间，我身前身后冒出无数人来，纷纷叫道：“我也去我也去……”听说去三国帮关二爷抬桩，这帮人疯了一样往前凑合，方镇江跟王寅他们也起哄，杨林和几个老将自重身份站在外围，眼睛却是不住地往我这边看着。
我手舞足蹈地挣出人群，大喊：“都别忙，车上只能坐7个人。”
这时李元霸终于弄明白吕布是谁了，咧嘴笑道：“嘿嘿。我非得去和这个吕布小子交交手。”丑小孩忽然左右看看，沮丧道，“可是我没有趁手的兵器啊。”
众人一怔，如果说使刀使枪，随便去哪个朝代都能找到，李元霸用锤，按说也不难找，可是四百斤地锤那就不是哪都有地了——一般人做对四百斤的大锤干什么？
李元霸推开众人，就在校园里东张西望起来，这会人们都刚吃了午饭。小六忙完正蹲在食堂门口一块怪石头上抽烟，李元霸一眼就扫在那了，他快步走过去提起小六子扔在一边，扒拉了扒拉小六刚才蹲过那块大石头——严格说这不是块石头，而是一块非常规整的椭圆形桶状物。大概多半人那么高。十月怀胎孕妇那么粗，像是过去人家里用的大水缸。不过是实芯儿地，表面颗粒粗糙，一坨巨大地牛屎相仿。
这东西可是有来历的，它确实不是普通石头，这是建设新校区地时候地里刨出来的，老人们说这玩意是大炼钢铁那会的产物，它的前身应该是无数人家里的铁锅铁盘，因为温度不够，所以炼出来个怪物，很多地方现在还保留着不少这东西，砸不碎敲不烂，死沉死沉的，只好埋进土里，我见它还有个样子，就废物利用摆在那当了摆设。
李元霸一见之下就跟它投了缘，抱着走了过来，他身高不足一米七，这玩意几乎到他胸口，看分量起码超过四百斤了。
我说：“你就打算用这个？”
李元霸揽女孩子腰一样揽着大牛屎，兴高采烈道：“就它了！”
秦琼道：“你这连个柄也没有，怎么用啊？”
李元霸放下牛屎石，挠挠头，忽然看见地上的杠铃杆儿了，伸手拿过，在牛屎石上狠命凿了两下，杠铃杆儿便深深的插进石头里，李元霸抓住另一头，把牛屎石扛在肩上，冲我一挥手：“走吧，找吕布小子打仗去！”
众人见他小小孩子扛了个大家伙，就像屎壳郎扛着大牛粪似的，无不失笑。
这也有个好处，据我所知李元霸是因为雷雨天举着大锤骂天被雷劈死的，迷信地说法是天公震怒，其实现在看，丑小孩就是举在避雷针上了，换了这件新式武器以后，跟雷公对着骂街也没事了，这玩意太绝缘了！
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