第一百五十章 草原幽思
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没想到啊,来了宋朝干的第一件事就丢人了,这也不怪我,以前看见太监宫女什么的脑海里总浮现出“鱼肉百姓,骄奢淫逸”几个字,谁能知道他们都是自愿的?不过进宫去当宫女还好理解,毕竟不是终身合同,还有机会勾搭皇帝(可参见女频红书),可自愿来当太监就颇为费解了,虽然很多太监都说自己身世不好,可至于不好到要靠把那个东西割了才能活下去的地步吗?就跟现在的很多“男公关”一样,总抱怨社会不公平才把他逼上了这条路,可至于不公平到要靠把那个东西卖了才能活下去的地步吗——不过话说回来,非要让你选的话,你是选当太监还是男公关?要我我就选……呃,跑题了。更多小说ltxsba.com
赵匡胤完全清醒以后看了我一眼,笑道:“来玩来了?”
“是啊,顺便跟赵哥借点兵。”
赵匡胤脸色一凛,试探地问:“5000够吗?”
我这个郁闷呀,这是打发要饭的呢?我说:“可能……不太够,包子被人家扣住做了人质了,我找人往出捞她呢。”
“哦,那5000也够了吧?这回还是那个雷老四吗?”
原来他还以为我是找人帮忙打群架去呢,真要是那样5000是够得不能再够了,我说:“不是,这回是个姓完(颜)的小子,手下有80万人。赵匡胤吃惊道:“那么多?那你想借多少啊?”
我嘿嘿笑道:“有50万最好了。”
赵匡胤连连摆手道:“没有没有,哪有那么多,能凑10万就了不起了。”
我翘着二郎腿一字一句说:“皇上,你可别忘了我是你亲封的安国公。总督天下兵马。咱大宋究竟有多少军队,按理我是有知情权的。”
赵匡胤捂着脸叹道:“哎,我就知道封了这个安国公迟早得出事。”
我安慰他道:“就借着吓唬吓唬人,绝对不损你一兵一将。”
赵匡胤道:“真没有,这样吧,我给你借5万,不用还了。”
我不悦道:“赵哥你这就不对了,人家李哥开口就60万借给我了,我不信你大宋就比大唐差那么远。”
谁想我这激将法一点用也没有,赵匡胤摊手道:“是比不过人家嘛。再说你也知道,一个杯酒释兵权我把那些大将都下放了。”
我说:“大将不在了不是还有兵吗?”说到这我猛然明白了,赵匡胤平生最怕的就是兵权旁落,给他借兵那就是戳他心尖子,无异于跟拔铁公鸡地毛一样,我笑道:“你不会是怕我借了你地兵再造你的反吧?”
赵匡胤一本正经道:“说真的小强,你就算坐我这个位子我也能给你。我还正好清闲几天呢,可是真没那么多。”
后来好说歹说老赵就是不松口,我把嘴皮子磨破了才谈到1万,最后把我气得实在不行了,一拍桌子站起道:“行了,赵哥你就这样吧,这兵我还不借了!”我气咻咻地一甩袖子就走,赵匡胤有点尴尬,讷讷道:“别啊小强,赵哥不是真穷吗?”
我走到门口忽然想起件事来。停下慢慢转回身笑眯眯地说:“对了,我刚才一直还没跟你说我借兵去哪吧?”
“去……哪啊?”
我笑道:“不远,还是宋朝,不过是帮一个叫赵佶的小子打仗。”
赵匡胤惊道:“就是我们老赵家那个败家子?”
“是啊,本来我想解决完包子的事儿顺便搭救那小子一把,主要能让当时的百姓好过一点呢,现在看来你们当皇帝的就光顾自己,算了,包子我不要了,正好换个漂亮媳妇——赵哥你那个小宫女能送我吧?我也来个萝莉养成计划……”说着又要往外走。
赵匡胤赶忙跑上来一把拉住我:“等会。你说的那个姓完的小子就是完颜兀术吧?是这个小畜生!”看看,一说他们自己家的事马上上心了。
我说:“是啊——赵哥你忙吧,这小姑娘我带走了……小mm,走,叔叔带你看金鱼……赵匡胤使劲拉住我道:“别啊。你真不管了?老李不是已经借给你60万人了吗?”
我摊手:“人家李哥也说了。凭什么让唐朝地兵去帮宋朝打仗啊?”
赵匡胤喃喃道:“这个老李,不够意思!”
我说:“人家可是把全国的常备军都给我了。一个子儿也没留,现在大明宫的守卫工作就全靠20多条土狗了……”
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