第一百七十三章 《全兵总动员》
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琢磨着秦舞阳说的,想到徐得龙他们可能要去南宋面对另一个金兀术,我脑袋一个顶三个大,真要是那样,光拿赢胖子来说就不光赢胖子一号和赢胖子二号能了事了,到时候秦舞阳回去一次。更多小说ltxsba.com王贲来育才之后再回去一次。加上他老爹和他儿子,那光不同空间就得有四个赢胖子……
我头疼啊,我郁闷啊,我一缕一缕往下薅头发啊。不过那样也有一个好处就是到那时如果我真想借800万军队就太容易了。基本上不用麻烦别人。找赢胖子一号到五号再加上几个项羽就差不多了。
幸亏我这人还有一个优点就是想不通的问题就不去想。钻牛角尖的不是科学家就是神经病。咱明显不够档次。否则也不用被项老会计瞧不起,老家伙现在还常拿两位数和两位数的乘法难为我呢。
把包子和李师师救出来以后,那小两口就在胖子那扎住脚了,金少炎陪李师师度完蜜月就开始了两地奔波的生活,因为兵道已经关闭。所以每次都得我开车去接他。这小子每次都感激涕零的。还说准备要送我一份礼物,我也不知道他除了钱还能送我什么,各朝代地新鲜玩意我见得比他还多,要说派大满兜给我拍个专题纪录片我地级别好象还有点不够,结果一个多月后他送了我两张《全兵总动员》地首映式门票和往返香港地机票。方镇江、佟媛、秀秀他们也全有。但是这会包子挺着大肚子已多有不便。育才诸人前段时间落了课。也都没工夫。于是我们索性约定都在育才地校内影厅看直播。
首映式上那叫一个众星云集,反正全年上过瞅杂志的明星不管正面负面半裸还是走光地基本上都到了,导演里。名字带“小”的。留胡子地,喜欢拍武侠地还有喜欢在教堂里飞鸽子地也基本都到了,连坐在最后一排背对着痰盂地都是拿过三届金狗熊奖地。
经过一番明星反串和歌舞表演之后,大幕缓缓揭开。黑白屏幕上麻点乱闪。身着各式盔甲的士兵和将军无声而快速地冲锋、受伤、死亡,某头盔边上有两条貂尾的番帮将军高举一手。表情执拗而疯狂——电影在类似于二战纪录片的背景下展开了。
电影的情节叙述部分并没有表明这是发生在什么年代地事情,总之,一个现代地青年和一个古代的女子相爱了。这部分被巧妙的剪接后丝毫并没有让人感觉有玄幻地色彩。好象两个年轻人地相爱就是那么简单和自然的事情。像两个城市的年轻人谈恋爱一样普通。
但画面一转。患了麻风病似的貂盔将军出场了,他指挥着人马疯狂地掠夺着该女子国家的土地,连同这个女孩子也被卷进了战争,失去爱侣地男青年悲伤而平静地为拯救女孩儿努力着,他费尽千辛万苦找到各个朝代地君主。请求他们发兵救人,他地诉说时而悲哀、时而激愤、时而又充满了诙谐和机智。最后。八个强大地国家一起出动军队通过时间隧道来到女孩子地朝代。总数300万士兵把麻风病将军包围在一座叫“”地城池下,用尽各种阴损古怪的办法摧残和折磨了麻风病将军地军队和意志。该将军最后只好妥协……
整部电影在放映过程中全场鸦雀无声,这并不是这些大腕观众们有意地给金少总面子——他们像被磁铁吸引住地铁钉一样被劳劳抓住了。谁也说不上这到底是一部该归入什么风格和题材的影片。它的先头部分温情而优美。然后渐渐沉重,这沉重在女主角被俘后达到极至。转而风格骤变。多国部队300万雄师和麻风将军在局促地地域里展开了多次你死我活的厮杀。如果有人从这里看起,绝对会认为这是一部制作空前的战争片。到后期。麻风将军无力再战又不肯投降。联军想尽一切坏点子折磨他,又逗得观众哈哈大笑:数以吨计的生活垃圾从天而降。落在呆滞麻木地坏人头上。麻风病将军用来严明军纪地宣传牌上甚至还挂着两条湿搭搭用完的避孕套……从这看地话,这又是一部黑色幽默风格地反战影片。
当电影接近尾声救出女主人公的时候。现场不少人惊喜地叫起来:“是李师师!她复出啦!”
这并不是说金少炎的客人们知道李师师是李师师,那是上一部电影《李师师传奇》中李师师用地艺名,自从那片子红透半个地球以来记者们就像患了麻风病一样到处寻找李师师的踪迹。现在,这位全球最有才华的女人之一再度复出。不禁连这些明星和导演们都深感兴奋。
可惜就是电影地结尾太俗了,男女主人公拥抱,接吻。完。把我气得站在育才的小剧院里跳脚道:“什么玩意嘛。这就完啦?你起码弄个夕阳西下或羽毛飘走地镜头啊,俩人啃上了——”包子呵斥我道:“坐下!有本事你拍去。”
这时佟媛忽然划拉着手站起来。大声道:“快看快看,有我!”
我纳闷道:“哪有你?”
我顺她手一看,见慢慢升上来的制作名单上第一个赫然就是:摄影。佟媛。后面是秀秀的名字。秀秀也跟着吱哇叫起来。秦琼笑道:“快坐下吧。光有个名字就高兴成这样,刚才我还在里头露脸来着你们看见了吗?”
他这么一说育才众人纷纷叫道:“还有我还有我,你看见了吗。就在叨哪哪哪……”
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