第一百八十六章 饶你精似鬼,也翻不出本司马的五指山
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刘邦点点头：“官职我就不另封了，并肩王世袭罔替，不过只能传长子啊，你要真生个足球队你们爷二十多个一人三千里并肩子造我反我可受不了。”
我哈哈大笑。出门上了车，向着21世纪狂奔而去。
这两天包子没少给我打电话。一边是担心她祖宗项羽，一边也是闲着无聊，这不，在路上又接了一个，一听说事情都暂时妥当我正在往回赶，包子兴奋道：“快点开，赶紧回来。”
我骂道：“你比刘邦他媳妇还不是东西。有催男人开快车的吗？”
包子乐道：“就闭着眼睛踩油门。还指望路上有人是怎么的？少废话，快点回来。”
说的也是啊。我把油门踩到底，窗外斑斓交替，用很特别的方式告诉我现在的速度是前所未有的，说实话我也有点想我儿子了，我已经好几天没听他在他妈肚子里抡板砖了。
小半天之后我终于顺利到了家门口，进了家一看，包子正挺着大肚子在客厅等我，我急忙蹲在她身前说：“快让我听听我儿子在干什么。”
包子推开我道：“一会再听，你累吗，要不要歇会？”
我随便地说：“不累。”
包子高兴道：“不累那咱就走吧！”
我诧异道：“去哪？”我这才发现在她脚边已经放了一个大包，里面放着盥洗用具和别地乱七八糟的东西，像是要出远门的样子。
包子理所当然地说：“咱们接上大个儿他们去胖子那住段时间呗。”
“……为什么？”
“你让大个儿拉家带口地老住在个姑娘家算怎么回事？”
我失笑道：“跟你有关系吗？”这心操的，谁是谁祖宗啊。
包子难得地跟我撒娇道：“走嘛。”
我忍着笑道：“那你待着，我去把大个儿送到胖子那就回来。”
包子愤然作色道：“你是装糊涂还是真傻，合着老娘白忙活了？”说着踢了一脚地上的包。
我当然知道她在想什么，我面前这个怀胎将近10月的女人旧病复发——那爱凑热闹地劲又犯了。所以听说花木兰和刘邦都回来了就耐不住了！
我语重心长道：“再有十几天就到你预产期了吧？”
包子讷讷道：“咱就去玩几天，赶在那之前回来。”
我跳脚道：“你以为看球赛呢？这是生儿子！未必有准的事！”
包子见我生气了，低头道：“其实孩子在哪不是生？”
我断然道：“不行，生完才能去！”虽然现在的医院收费黑，可我相对还是比较放心让那些戴手套把脸遮起来跟杀手似的护士来接生，胖子那杀手倒是有一个，杀人手就够潮的，接生恐怕更不行，看电视上稳婆那就更离谱了，真跟球迷似的——就会在边上瞎起哄。
包子狡辩道：“有什么不放心的呢。秦朝孩子要是都生下来就死，那还有汉朝吗？”哟，历史知识进步了呀！
我说：“少废话！”
包子见我丝毫没有妥协地打算，忽然抱着肚子仰在沙发里呻吟起来，我虽然知道她八成是装的，还是忍不住问道：“你怎么了？”没办法。包子就是那个放羊的孩子，她现在就算喊一万次狼来了我也得当真地，这就叫不怕一万就怕万一，因为她放那羊是我的！
包子靠在沙发里闭着眼睛哼哼着说：“我抑郁了……”
我甩手道：“别闹了祖宗，光听说过产后抑郁，哪有产前抑郁的？”而且我还是头次见抑郁到肚子疼的。
包子忽然张开眼睛道：“你只要带我去，我答应你产后也不抑郁还不行么？”
我彻底无语。包子和抑郁这个词……为什么我就那么难把他们联系在一起呢？这就叫挟天……呃，挟小并肩王以令老并肩王啊！
包子见我始终不松口，终于怒道：“老娘要不是摸不着方向盘了早自己去了我一跺脚道：“老子怕你了，说好了啊，去了只玩两天。”
包子“哈”的一声从沙发里翻出来，一把提起旅行包两个箭步蹿出门外，一边得意道：“饶你精似鬼，也翻不出本司马的五指山！”
我呆呆地反应了半天，也没弄明白这三样有什么联系，不得不说包子已经在潜移默化地感染我——她这种思维方式恐怕就是我“梦里不知身是客。直把杭州作汴州”地灵感出处吧。
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