第九章
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我热烈地刻薄着，“阿译！真好样的！”我啪啪啦啦地鼓掌，被热烈地回应，阿译挤出一个哭样的受宠若惊的笑脸，并且企图回到原本属于他的阴影中。这是个未遂的举动，因为另一个拍巴掌的声音把我打断了，那位从暗地里来的家伙拍得那么结实，几乎让空气都起了震动。
迷龙，一脸阴晴不定的表情，跨过瘫在地上的李乌拉时停了下来，他细看了一下那个经常也被他揍的家伙，说：“忒虎了你也。东三省的面子还让你整到云南来丢。”
李乌拉没有回应，他似乎是连哭的功能也丧失了，而从他身上跨过的迷龙也不再管他，直接侵入了我们的小圈子走向那口锅。我们几个下意识退了一步，又开始懊悔退这一步，但我们又不敢上前一步，而迷龙胜似闲庭信步，一边玩儿着还没戴习惯的手表，那表是阿译的。迷龙，打遍收容站无敌手的主。他揍李乌拉，但我们不知道他如何看待我们揍李乌拉，就像要麻揍豆饼，但要麻并不喜欢别人也揍豆饼。
迷龙把头伸到了锅上，将整颗脑袋浸入了锅里冒出的蒸汽。他向康丫伸手，康丫愣着，迷龙伸手拽走了康丫手上充作筷子的树枝，在他堪称暴戾的眼神下所有人都坐着没动，然后他伸手打开了至今还没人打开过的锅盖。
我们的心提到了嗓子眼——要麻从我手上抢走了劈柴，试图再一次卫护我们的食物。大厨蛇屁股几乎想捂住眼睛。
但是那个死东北佬的表情在忽起的蒸汽升腾中变得柔和起来，他闭上眼，深吸，我忽然觉得被蒸汽濡湿了的那张脸属于一个想家的孩子。他睁开了眼，看着锅里，也用树枝翻腾着锅里，又变得怒气冲天，好像随时要打折了谁——然后他发表了一篇长篇诗作：
“这是他妈猪肉炖粉条吗？猪肉炖粉条不是这样做的！好好一锅子全让你们死关里人给祸祸啦！咋不放酱油呢？酱油招你们惹你们啦？你们跟白菜有仇啊？整这么大锅子白菜梆子？粉条啊！我的妈耶！没土豆粉也就得了，烦啦你那整捆子死地瓜粉条全搁进去啦？你个土豆脑袋欠削啊？猪肉呢？猪肉跟酱油叫小日本抢光了？抢回来啊！天爷嗳，东北的猪肉炖粉条哪儿是这么做的？你们整这一锅子是他妈粉条子白菜汤啊！”
我们瞪着他，我们惊着了，并且聪明地选择了沉默。饿表示萎靡，表示我们中从来没人会如此长篇大论，而且这样琐碎的默唧居然来自迷龙。我们很想告诉迷龙，王八蛋要做东北的猪肉炖粉条，但他这样的滔滔不绝把我们吓着了，通常他说不到七个字就已经把人打成了半残。现在他看起来很想掀了我们的锅，如果他这么做，我们只好练习从地上捞粉条的能力。
迷龙仍在那里暴烈地，恨铁不成钢地叹着气，“欠收拾！我多会儿就看出来了！我们都欠收拾！”
他打算收拾我们——从衣袋里拿出两个在黑市上亦紧俏之极的军用罐头，以一种破坏性的姿势往锅里倒着。我们想那里边一定装着别的什么，但在他开启之前那罐头是密封的，从里边倒出来的是真真切切的肉。有一件事情是立马就看出来了，这家伙根本不会做饭，无论是东北还是西南的猪肉炖粉条他都不会做，他只会往锅里倒料，甚至把开罐器都倒进了锅里，并且开始大叫：
“羊蛋子！再拿点儿那个肉罐头！酱油！还有猪油！还有刀子！”
羊蛋子不想拿但没敢少拿，瓶子和罐头抱了一抱，嘴上衔着刀子，迷龙开始成批量地往锅里倒，刀子除了方便他开罐头和砸瓶颈之外，还可以用来一通搅拌。那货一边搅着，一边往锅里整瓶地倒入酱油，一边伴以豪壮的宣言：“让你们知道啥叫正经八百儿的东北猪肉炖粉条！”
蛇屁股现在已经真的捂住眼了，他从指缝里看着。据说他是我们中间还保持有味觉的人——至少他自以为是。
羊蛋子直不楞通地提醒迷龙，“罐头是牛肉的。”迷龙奇快地用刀把捅了他，让羊蛋子此后一声不吭地蹲在旁边捂着腰眼子。
我们呆呆地看着。我们都已经饿到了这种地步，当迷龙一心炮制出他家乡的猪肉炖粉条时，根本没人想他毁坏了这顿来之不易的晚餐，我们只想：他妈的，那么多的肉。
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