第十七章 有个石狮子在天上飞
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“你，你——”郎苑好容易把下巴收回来，小嘴合拢了，舌头尖还拔凉拔凉的，刚才灌进去不少冷风。有个石狮子在天上飞，郎苑的脑袋也得飞一会儿。
事情就这么完了？胖子就那么优哉游哉地走了？当然，还是抱着那个石狮子。郎苑的头很大，两条浓眉几乎凑到了一起，冲着胖子的背影大喝道，“你给我回来！”
“怎么了？”胖子还真是听话地回来了，但表情很无辜，语气很纳闷。石狮子已经归位了，严丝合缝的，就像从来就没动过一样。只是底部多了一溜沥青碎末。
“怎么了？你问我怎么了？！”郎苑气急败坏地反问道。
石狮子从天上飞过，路面上两个大坑，一辆驮着那啥糕的三轮车，周围八把明晃晃的片刀……这些加起来是什么？一地鸡毛，老大的麻烦！
“不是你喊我帮忙的吗？呶，坏人被吓跑了。这都是我应该做的，不谢！”胖子的得意溢于言表。警察求援，胖哥必应。胖哥出手，所向披靡。警察同志千万不要客气，反正你们也只是口头鼓励，还不让宣传的。
“我，我——”郎苑一时语塞。我是让你帮忙了，可我没让你这么帮忙啊？你这厮还不如跑了呢！就算我替那小姑娘付了三百六十块钱，虽然屈辱了点，但也比这个结果好吧？
不过，作为负责任的人民警察，郎苑说不出这种卸磨杀驴的话来，只好气急败坏地问道，“我说，现在怎么办？”
“你是警察，你问我怎么办？”胖子很真诚地表示，你问错人了。
“你，你——”郎苑再次语塞，他说得好有道理。但胖子的话还没说完。
“仔细看看吧，你还是满漂亮的。要是脸上被这么划一刀的话，你真就没什么优点了。这么傻，还凶，唉！”胖子一边说，一边拿手比刀，慢慢地在自己的胖脸上划过，划得龇牙咧嘴的。然后一脸的遗憾，爱莫能助。
郎苑首先听到了“漂亮”这个关键词，他是在夸我？眼不瞎嘛！本姑娘当然漂亮了，警花懂不懂？还得仔细看？
他这么做，是怕我受到伤害？切，谁稀罕！
什么？你才傻呢，你才凶呢，你们全家都没有优点！
“你，你——”郎苑刚想发表对胖子的客观评价，却又被胖子无情地打断了。
“你就不要客气了！我知道市民应该协助警察，要不然你能破个什么案子？程序我也懂的，找我做笔录的话，记得早上九点以后，下午四点以前！”胖子撇了撇嘴，溜溜达达地走进了联通营业厅。
这回是真的走了。他就这么走了？郎苑口眼歪斜，胸口急剧起伏，手指着胖子的背影，一句话也说不出来。
然后，步行街上出现了一副美丽的画面。一个盘靓条顺的青春女警，捡起地上的片刀，噼里啪啦地扔进三轮车里。然后苦大仇深地跨上三轮车，打着车铃往前蹬。车后，一个十五六岁的小姑娘在卖力地推着……
一路上万众聚焦，郎苑也不知道自己是怎么蹬回派出所的。反正是回去了，没迷路。
曹警官正要出门，刚好碰见郎苑回来，他绕着三轮车转了三圈，几乎不敢相信自己的眼睛，“我说小姑奶奶啊，你怎么把这个给弄回来了？可是要了亲命了！”
“不弄回来怎么办？扔在大街上？”郎苑面无表情浑身僵硬地下了三轮车。现在最想干的事情，就是到训练室去，打爆三五个沙袋。然后弄两瓶酒，关起门来把自己灌醉。
不过，作为负责任的人民警察，郎苑不能这么任性。苦主小姑娘的笔录还得亲自做，三轮车和车上的那啥糕，也得有人善后。
“这是到底是怎么回事啊？”曹警官发觉了郎苑的情绪不太对头。
到底是怎么回事，曹警官很快就知道了。不但曹警官知道，全所都知道了，牢山区分局也很快就知道了。
数十个花帽子冲进了城关派出所，一通乱砸，就像鬼子进了村。
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