第一百八十一章 当一张安稳的床
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是了，柳萱只是在寻求一种安全感，而不是爱上了我。
是了，小傻妞则不同，即使她可能不太懂得爱，慢慢地雅爱。
是了，柳萱所需要的帮助，我全都可以给她——就像是真的上了她一样——我却不能把自己给她。
是了，因为我要给小傻妞留着。
小傻妞啊，哥对你多好，你还没事掐哥玩。你真是身在福中不知福啊，嗯嗯，哥对你可好了
不知过去多久，柳萱终于没有没有等到，终于意识到了不太对劲，眼神迷离着，还带着怯怯的羞涩，悄悄地看了过来。
胖子却在努力地朝着她傻笑，也更加温柔地拍着她的后背，拙口笨腮地措着辞，“我想，我们的准备还不太充分。应该有个更合适的诚，更仑一些，更正式一些嗯，万一怀孕了呢？”
据说，只是据说啊，这种情况，是最最伤害一个女孩的心灵的。
如果一个女孩对你敞开了心扉，也敞开了身体。
是的，不上，更加伤人。甚至比强上还要害人。
胖子的内心是何等的纠结——哥这冤的！哥怎么就变成心灵上的施暴者了？
柳萱的动作迟疑着，慢慢地减小了幅度，或者也是努力地收拢着理智——这一点，比较困难
但她的身体还是火热的，姣好的脸庞依然赤红。当然，还是紧贴着胖子的身体。
良久，一丝苦锌上了柳萱的心头，她咬了咬下唇，轻叹了一声，“是因为郎苑吗？”
胖子浑身一僵，你好不好不要这么聪慧？你让我怎么回答你
不回答，或者说没有及时回答，也就是回答了。
“其实，我比她先认识你的，对吗？”柳萱的声音几不可闻，大概是说给自己听的，偏偏胖子听得清清楚楚。
“这不公平，我一直对你有好感，并且明确地表现了出来。我带你到我的办公室，坐在我的椅子上，我把送你的电脑擦得干干净净的你为什么不追我，难道还要等我去追你吗？我是一个女孩子啊？”
“难道是郎苑追的你吗？”柳萱有些哀怨，好像输得不明不白的？
胖子还是无法回答。却不由自主地把和郎苑在一起的事情，一幕幕地过了一遍。
嗯，郎苑好像没有追过我，我好像也没有追过她，就是一起经历了一些不尴不尬的事情，就巷糊涂地走到一起去了——而最早时，郎苑对我是满满的恶意吧？
“我不管，我不服，我要！”柳萱的情绪突然激动起来，一口摇了胖子的肋下。
好吧，只要你高兴，撕下一块吃了又如何？
胖子傻傻怔怔的，居然没怎么觉得疼痛。或者身体上的疼痛，能够化解内心的歉疚？
“这不公平，这不公平”柳萱闹腾了一阵子，胖子始终没让她离开自己的身体。而后，柳萱身体放松了，瘫软得没有了一点力气，若有若无地抽泣起来。
胖子还是不知道说什么好，只管轻轻地拍着她的后背。
或者是柳萱一向太疲乏了，刚才又耗尽了全身的力气。过了一会儿，居然有平稳地呼吸传来，她蜷缩在胖子身上，就这么睡着了
胖子一脸的苦涩，身体一动不动地坐在那里，当一张安稳的床。哪怕是暂时的，从郎苑那里借用一次，让柳萱安睡一次。
可是，柳萱睡得可能很熟，却是很不安稳。仅仅十几分钟后，柳萱的腥一抽，浑身悸动。胖子以为柳萱醒了，却觉她可能是做了一个噩梦。
或者，她又梦见妈妈了，妈妈正在，一直在，永远无法追及地离开？
胖子再次轻拍着柳萱的后背，也轻轻地抚摸着她，模仿一个妈妈的动作。虽然胖子没当过妈妈，以后也不大可能当。
萱萱啊，你毕竟是有妈妈的，即使她不知道什么时候就会离开。
你知道吗，我没见过妈妈。或者也是见过的吧，但我不记得见过她。
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