第十八节 拆台
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“他承认错误才算完？”黄乃明知道这个数字多半还是有吹嘘成份，不过他倒不是觉得这有什么太不多的地方。
“哪能？”如果放在以前崇祯朝期间，无论是施天羽还是其他南明官民，都不会觉得偶尔吹两句是什么特别的大事，但这短短几年，南方百姓的脾气就被迅速养了起来，越来越不好伺候了。黄乃明在北方呆的时间太长，和施天羽还不太一样，只听他说道：“大夫们继续追问到底是什么地方，他听谁说的，甚至都有人提议要让对李总督说这话的人上卿院接受质问。”
“就为了这么一句话么？”黄乃明又一次觉得广东卿院有点小题大做。
“上次广东选总督，呼声最高的东林党和国民党互相拆台，拼尽全力把对方的竞选人都成功地骂臭了，最后被李总督捡了便宜，本来就恨透了他。现在李总督想往自己脸上贴金、扩大工党的影响，他们岂能容忍，不但要把金箔撕掉，连同总督府的面皮都要一起扯下来。”施天羽直接引用了一些国民党为自己为什么不放过李总督做的解释，大意就是说如果不防微杜渐，不迎头痛击总督府每一次吹牛的企图，他们的胆子就会变得越来越大，早晚会浮夸成风：“东林党也说无论官府做了什么错，最倒霉的还是百姓，总督府的官员可能会被骂一顿、被轰走，李总督也可能会卷铺盖走人，但是官员只要不犯罪，这惩罚对他们也就是到头了，而他们犯的错可能会让百姓出人命的。东林党说的没错，就像我们行军打仗，将官们出错，是会让士兵丢掉性命的。”
“是啊，”黄乃明也承认这一点：“李总督有人盯着也好，他不会犯大错。”
“后来李总督说他手下只是为了在报纸上鼓舞人心，八百只是个概数，就好比说彭祖长命八百载，就是只其长命而已。”
施天羽兴致勃勃地继续讲道：“结果有大夫反驳说，那皇帝万岁，万也是概数，更多更好听，质问李总督怎么不用？”
“李总督怎么说？”
“还能怎么说？承认自己又失言了呗，他最后解释说这是为了歌颂圣明陛下监国，国公执政英明，于是全粤粮食丰收。这个理由搬出来后李总督说他感到很委屈，以前祥瑞是真要动用民脂民膏的，但是现在只是说一两句话而已。”
“他说的到也是实话。”
“但毕竟还是承认撒谎了，反对派大造声势，说李总督公然撒谎，存心愚弄选民。”但施天羽说这个效果不是很好，当时广东的百姓还不太适应这种政治景象，对比之前高高在上，令人敬畏不已的巡抚老爷，他们已经开始觉得李总督是个可怜人了：“闹腾了整整一个月啊，下个月又有新的事出来，这桩故事就渐渐淡忘了。”
当时反对派还给李总督编了好些戏段子、评书段子，施天羽还记得其中一个：“有几个扮农民，还有两个扮总督府的官吏……”
一开始的唱词完就是有一个当官的在问百姓：当今圣明陛下监国，尔等过得好不好？
一个农民搭腔道：好！
那官接着唱：爱民如子李总督关怀民生，你家有没有田？
农民说道：有！
施天羽说中间应该还有一些，但是他不记得了，只记得最后一问是：
粮食收的多不多？
农民一起答道：多！一亩有八百斤呢。
施天羽笑道：“两个官吏模样的人听到后就凶相毕露：那你为什么不缴税、不缴粮？你这刁民反对圣明陛下，诽谤太平盛世，忠心耿耿的李总督，须容不得尔等这帮宵小。”
这戏文听说被东林党传播得很广，好多戏班子都跑到地方上去演，搞得是人人皆知。
“本来李总督刚上台的时候，工党都弹冠相庆，说以前只要为民做主，不但可以立生祠，卸任还会有上马碑，李总督只要好好干，这广东以后就是工党的天下了。结果看起来蛮不是这么回事，李总督比以前的官辛苦多了，平心而论，大明这百年来就没出过这么勤恳、有度量、起早贪黑、政绩不坏而且不收钱的巡抚一级高官，但是我看他是休想捞到生祠和上马碑了。”
上次广东省卿院选举，工党虽然有起色，但是也绝非之前预想的能在广东一家独大。
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