第四十一幕.黄金之心
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帕海贝尔看了看已经处于半崩坏状态的爱兰德尔，嘴角露出一抹无奈的神情，接着说道。更多小说ltxsba.com
“自己的信仰崩塌的滋味并不好受，我能明白这种感觉。”
他似乎已经不在乎爱兰德尔是否还有意识听他的言，帕海贝尔只是说着，仿佛在交待遗言。
“十三岁的时候，我曾经失踪过两天，虽然最后告诉大家是在野外迷路，但实际上，我现了一处墓穴。”
帕海贝尔回忆起那个改变他一生的下午，事实上，他的确在森林中迷路了，但并不是找了个洞穴过夜，而是掉进了一个杂草掩盖的坑洞中，并且最终现了一个隐藏的墓地。
在墓地里，他捡到了一本禁忌的书籍，里面记载了无数骇人听闻的邪恶法术，起先，帕海贝尔只是将其收好，没有仔细翻阅，毕竟作为一个秩序之地长大的孩子，对于混沌，帕海贝尔自然是敬而远之的。
但对于力量的渴望却不断驱使他翻阅书籍，直到有一天，那名富商再一次来到孤儿院，与院长一起再度实行那猥亵的行为时，帕海贝尔爆了。
他失手打伤了富商，对方捂着已经掉落的耳朵，大声吆喝着要对帕海贝尔处以火刑，年仅十三岁的帕海贝尔慌了，于是他果断杀掉了富商和进来查看情况的院长，控制不住的力量导致了火灾，整个孤儿院毁于一旦。
“在孤儿院出事之后很长的一段时间里，我都疡封印力量，本以为在圣堂学习神术能够令我压抑浊些阴暗的，但越是深入学习，我便越感到烦躁。”
帕海贝尔现自己对于神术的亲和性有着天然的优势，短短一年便能掌握常人五年才能学会的神术，但每次一使用神术，他的脑中就浮现出那日富商扭曲的面容与另一个身处阴影中的自己。
“不得不说，我对于圣典的理解就算在整个拜伦维斯也是相当出色的，我现圣堂的圣典中，有诸多不自然的地方，起先以为是长年的流传导致缺失，后来我才知道，那根本不是什么散失，而是篡改。”
帕海贝尔低吟着，声音在大厅中回荡。
“更惊人的是，那本禁忌教典中的内容，居然与神术十分契合，所谓的邪术，不过是神术的另一面而已。”
帕海贝尔的信仰在那一刻崩塌了，他一直以来祈祷的女神荡然无存。
“在娼馆的时候，在孤儿院的时候，在圣堂的时候，我曾经祈祷了无数次女神，希望祂能降下救赎，但后来我才知道，人只能自己救自己。”
帕哈贝尔于是坦然接受了那本禁忌教典的内容，至于知晓到其他与他类似的人存在，则是更久之后了。
不断在拜伦维斯大圣堂内部向上爬，帕哈贝尔也不断招收心腹，他疡的大多是身有残疾，备受鄙视的不幸者，只有这样体验过苦难的人，才能接受他的信仰。
改造实验在两年前正式启动，除去索拉尔与约瑟夫，他还有更多的试验品，不过大多都在各种意外中死亡，他甚至作为武装牧师的领亲手杀掉过其中的一只。
等到条件成熟，帕海贝尔便开始实行进一步的行动。
他知道埃德加主教本身也并不干净，私底下与杜兰特家族有着颇多交易，利用职位牟取利益，于是帕海贝尔在拜伦维斯散布了瘟疫，并且通过旁敲侧击的方式提醒埃德加主教可以利用这件事来大赚一笔。
之后的事正如他所料，大量的“圣水”被制造贩卖，而他用来散布瘟疫的怪物则在下水道里为“圣水”提供原材料，帕海贝尔甚至还制作了几瓶纯度极高的蚀印虫浸出物给一名法师学徒制造“力量的代价”。
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