第32章 喜剧
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赵甲第一般情况下并不打呼噜，只有酗酒过度或者精疲力尽的状态下才会，他抽完烟偷偷洗脸刷牙完毕，就捡了条被单盖在身上，怕打呼噜吵到沐红鲤，就睡不踏实，加上内心一直矛盾，一个声音告诉他你还是不是爷们，这么个娇滴滴的大美女躺在几米远外的地方，你鞋子都帮忙脱了，就不能连衣服一起脱吗？另一个声音则说赵八两啊你不能对不起王半斤啊对不起齐冬草啊对不起赵家村村委会对不起赵家村全体暗恋你的美眉少妇啊，道德和欲望有力没气地顽强打架，不是一般的煎熬，直到天蒙蒙亮的时候才沉沉睡去，以往这个时间点他都已经生龙活虎起床跑步去。龙腾小说ltxsba.com
沐红鲤睁开眼睛，瞪着天花板发呆，貌似没明白怎么躺在这张比学校床铺大太多的床上，思考了几分钟，这才身手摸了摸衣服，完好无损，松了口气，侧身换个舒服的姿势，凝视不远处蜷缩在沙发上的家伙，真可怜，空调房盖一条被单还是有点冷的，沙发就那么点大，沐红鲤轻轻微笑，听着赵甲第并不重的呼噜声，睡眠质量一直不好的她悄悄给他拿去一条厚重的毯子，跳回大床重新合上眼睛，打算再睡个回笼觉，反正今天上午没课，有课她也要逃。
手机铃声吵醒了酣睡中共处一室只差没有同床共枕的“狗男女”，赵甲第立即惊醒，接起电话，是笑声猥琐的李峰，这家伙和沈汉享受了一个美妙春宵后精神不错，对赵甲第说我就在你门外了，你们两个晚上也不知道小点声，我都听到了，好狂野好销魂。赵甲第见沐红鲤没动静，小声道滚，我昨天到了酒店就睡沙发，一根手指头都没碰。李峰尖叫道，废柴，给313寝室丢脸，回去后家法处置。
所谓家法，事实上就是在寝室里两个星期不给男女战争片看，对于一切热爱情爱文艺热爱床上动作片的青年来说，这无疑是个杀伤力巨大的处罚。赵甲第刚想解释，李峰就说他和容光焕发的马小跳先撤了，自己退房，然后就挂掉电话。睡得腰酸背痛腿抽筋的赵甲第轻轻伸了个腰，看了下时间，10点半，瞥了眼床上纹丝不动的沐红鲤，安详宁静，身材躺着比站着还要曼妙诱人，露出一双粉粉嫩嫩的小脚丫，赵甲第笑了笑，昨天给她脱鞋子袜子的时候捏了两下，可惜当时太紧张，没敢往小腿上抹。
去洗脸刷牙，在地上悄悄做了个几十个俯卧撑，差不多11点钟左右，赵甲第决定差不多可以把她叫醒，绕到床头，蹲下去，伸出手捏了下沐红鲤鼻子，这妞拍掉赵家的爪子，赵甲第继续捏，继续拍，赵甲第见她嘴唇并不干燥，娇艳欲滴，跟清晨沾了露水的玫瑰花瓣一样，就恶作剧地伸出手指温柔抹了一把，这次沐红鲤没反应，上瘾的赵甲第也就不客气了，正人君子了一晚上，丢了西瓜总得捡点芝麻弥补一下。
就在赵甲第就要得寸进尺的关键时刻，小脸蛋艳红艳红的沐红鲤睁开眼睛，恼羞成怒，两个小腮帮气鼓鼓盯着赵甲第。
“今天天气不错。”赵甲第尴尬道，手停在沐红鲤嘴唇上，没敢缩回来，真小人总比伪君子来得可爱些。
“好摸吗？”沐红鲤毫无征兆妩媚起来，笑脸娇媚，像极了那些如狼似虎年纪一到晚上就勾引自家老公的少妇韵味。
赵甲第点点头。
沐红鲤哼了一声，撇过头转过身子，把后背对着色狼赵甲第。她的睡眠很浅，往往很容易就被吵醒，寝室里有个女生爱说梦话，那个女生上铺的又喜欢回答梦话，除了沐红鲤，她们都喜欢玩麻将，晚上不是东风就是小三元大四喜什么的，不肯消停，沐红鲤一直忍着不说，昨天晚上就更睡不着，其实被赵甲第扶着来香格里拉酒店，她已经做好最荒唐的准备，虽然她心里的底线最多就是睡一张床井水不犯河水，再多一点就是被轻轻抱一下，可到时候赵甲第真要禽兽要牲口，她一个手无缚鸡之力的女孩，总不可能报警，可赵甲第除了帮她脱鞋袜的时候有点不正经，接下来就正经得令人发指，他躺在沙发上抽烟的时候，她也没睡，就在黑暗中瞪大眼睛，看着烟头一闪一闪，很有趣，她还借着酒劲很恶作剧地摆了个特撩人的姿势，听到赵甲第当时呼吸都加重，她心里乐开了花，憋死你，后来她实在扛不住瞌睡虫，就沉沉睡去，很踏实，简直比在家里睡还安稳舒服，除了铃声响的时候，赵甲第洗脸刷牙的时候她又醒了，这头披羊皮的狼终于要对小红帽下手了，她也终于不能继续装睡，现在房间里气氛旖旎诡异。
“红鲤，问你个事。”赵甲第很不客气地躺到她身边，睡了一晚上沙发，终于舒坦了。
沐红鲤如临大敌，身体紧绷，紧张得无以复加，完蛋了，第一次跟异性睡在一张大床上，接下来会发生什么根本不在她的掌控中。
“你还喜欢那家伙吗，就是你给写《孩子》的那个成绩比我好点个子比我高点样子比我帅点的青梅竹马。”赵甲第小心翼翼问道。
沐红鲤身体轻轻颤抖，猛然转过身，眼眶竟然有点湿润，咬着嘴唇道：“我不知道我是不是喜欢你，但我如果真喜欢他，就不会故意考不上北京外国语！你觉得一个还算知道点廉耻的女孩会随便让人爬上床吗？”
赵甲第犹豫了下，就开始脱衣服。
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