第44章 门神
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跟死狗一样趴在地上愣了半分钟的赵甲第揉了揉鼻青脸肿的脸庞，坐在地上，腹部格外刺疼，却还是吼道：“草，给老子把酒一起丢出来。”
嚷了半天，房子内根本没反应。
赵甲第喊累了，那个深藏不露的娘们下手太狠毒，全身疼痛，让他也没精力撒泼，勉强走上阶梯，走到门口，好歹那里还有块羊毛地毯垫着，他靠着门坐下，自言自语道：“这回咱是真煞笔了。狗日的杨青帝，我还想用长篇大论玩一下先抑后扬，开解一下你的小蔡我的蔡姨，他妈的我这才抑了一个开头根本没来得及表扬你，她就发飙了，你这是留给我一个怎么样的祸害和祸水啊，你要是没偷偷留下小金库之类的，我打死也不帮你降伏小蔡，女王阿姨想咋整就咋整去，我跟她井水不犯河水……”
赵甲第一个人孤独凄凉地坐在门口借着酒劲絮絮叨叨，最后沉沉睡去。
蔡姨在门口站了一小会儿，伸了个懒腰，走向电梯，露出个颠倒众生的笑脸，觉得这么多年终于能睡一个安稳觉了，毕竟门口蹲着一位门神嘛。
想必没有一个认床的人能在一个陌生的小区陌生的房子门口睡得舒坦，哪怕这栋房子是超级豪宅，一晚上赵甲第睡得很糟糕，他本来就经常做一些降妖伏魔乱七八糟的梦，睡眠质量不算太好，加上挨了蔡姨一顿不分青红皂白的暴揍，让每到早上五点多就会自动醒来的赵甲第睡到六点还是迷迷糊糊，穿上一身休闲跑步装的蔡姨打开房门，赵甲第就后仰跌倒在地上，艰难睁开眼睛，就是一双美腿，赏心悦目。
蔡姨丢给他一瓶正红花油，就独自去小区晨跑。
赵甲第望着她身影，咬牙切齿道：“早晚把你给圈圈叉叉了。”
似乎是心有灵犀，蔡姨回头看了一眼，昨晚被摔被丢被揍还能保持英俊潇洒姿势的赵甲第何等牛掰，神情一点不变，还笑脸灿烂地挥了挥手，感觉很纯良很憨厚，看得转头不语的蔡姨终于有点么丁点儿不忍心。可如果她能够听到一连串从这尊门神嘴里蹦出的类似观音坐莲老汉推车的专业术语，一定会觉得昨晚的出手实在太含蓄温柔了。赵甲第等蔡姨的身影消失，就奔上楼，找到蔡姨房间，一个鱼跃上床，钻进被子酣睡，终于舒服了，有床真好。
蔡姨晨跑归来，看到这一幕，怒气冲冲，可当她想要把这个胆大包天的小兔崽子摔下床，却发现有点不对劲，这尊尽心尽职在门口坐了一晚上的门神似乎发烧了，她这才记起这家伙在这一天里不仅跳了江还喝了上一斤的白酒还挨了揍最后还悲剧地睡了一晚上地面，沉睡发烧的赵甲第没了寻常的憨厚劲儿，也没了偶尔露出来的倔强和生冷，就只像是一个孩子，不调皮不捣蛋，蔡姨生活自理能力当然不是普通女性可以媲美的，恐怕就算中了枪吃了子弹也能自行解决，一个感冒发烧不算什么，关掉空调后她先去楼下房间找到赵甲第手机，给辅导员打了电话请假，然后给他敷毛巾，下厨烧了白粥，等赵甲第出了一身汗，迷迷糊糊醒过来，蔡姨已经将白粥放在床头柜上，她坐在一旁一架紫竹藤椅上看财经杂志，身体状况已经比小时候好太多的赵甲第没那么脆弱，喝完了大半碗粥，脸色就正常许多。
“这张床舒服吗？”蔡姨笑眯眯道，走出小村子这么多年，只有这个家伙敢肆无忌惮爬上她的床。
“好大。”赵甲第装傻道。
“那要不我也躺上去？”蔡姨笑容更妩媚了。
“别，我不是那种确定关系前就乱来的人。”赵甲第正义凛然道。
“消失！”蔡姨终于忍不住心中怒火，要不是这家伙是个病患人士，她早动手了。
赵甲第也不敢再得寸进尺，这一被窝蔡姨的气息迷人归迷人，可得有小命消受才是关键，所以他无比矫健地跳下床端着小半碗白粥跑出房间，边跑边喝。
彻底无语的蔡姨坐在藤椅上，丰腴胸脯一颤一颤。
这世上本就没有金刚不败的人，尤其是女人。
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