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第七百五十五章 欢乐的笨章鱼

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李佳玉扭开了门把,推门而出,但脸色却立马就僵住了,因为他看到黑暗章鱼那个混球就守在门口!

“哎哟,恭喜主人,贺喜主人,终于如愿以偿地得到了晚晴主母的圣女之躯……嘎嘎,主人你一定很爽吧,爆菊狂魔的名号一定很……”

“嘭”

李佳玉最烦的就是“爆菊狂魔”,以前被人口口声声喊为“帅妞”“光明女神”就已经够他烦恼透顶了,现在黑暗章鱼还敢喊他为“爆菊狂魔”,这简直是自寻死路,所以黑暗章鱼话还没说完,直接就被李佳玉一脚踹飞,如同馅饼般粘在了墙壁上,撕都撕不下来。

“啊啦,主人好狠心,你就是这样来对待红娘的吗……要不是章鱼辛辛苦苦地牵红线,恐怕再给你一年半载的时间,你也别想碰得到晚晴主母一根手指头……话说回来,你害什么躁,不就是爆菊吗,女人有三个妙处,是男人都懂……”

“你今天又发什么神经,这里可不是性知识传播教程,少来说废话了,我问你,是你救了染红霞的吗?”

“啊咧,当然啦……”黑暗章鱼那十六根触手都叉在腰间,得瑟地叫道,完全把碎梦刀的功劳都揽在自己身上。

“很好,你终于做了回好事……”李佳玉松了口气,对着黑暗章鱼比了比拇指。

“那当然的啦,章鱼是护花使者嘛,当然要竭尽全力去保护每一位主母的,要是主母们都挂掉,那主人你还建个屁的后宫啊?”章鱼又开始神经兮兮地傲然一笑了,颇有种天下寂寞的味儿。

李佳玉叹了口气,倒是没有跟黑暗章鱼过多地放嘴炮,而是直截了当地问道:

“昨晚的事……应该没其他人知晓了吧?”

“章鱼办事,主人放心,谁也不会知道主人捉住晚晴主母爆了菊花…还让她差点怀孕……嘿嘿,章鱼告诉他们,你和她正在拼命地给红霞主母疗伤,闲杂人等不能打扰咧……”说着,黑暗章鱼又露出一副猥琐的表情,挤眉弄眼道:“主人,老实交待,你昨晚那么过瘾,害得端庄矜持的晚晴主母都快叫破了嗓子……偏偏晚晴主母又是身娇体柔经不起长时间的蹂躏,那么,你在搞定了她之后……有没有把魔爪伸向红霞主母?”

李佳玉登时浑身一僵,尴尬无比地摇头,气急败坏道:

“放屁,我又不是大色魔,怎么可能会收了小姨还不够,偏又要把侄女也一起收了,你真把我当成欲求不满的大种马么?”

“啊咧,不是吗?那就太可惜了,虽然红霞主母受了绿帽神刀的诅咒……可你是她的心上人,你还是可以跟她有亲密接触的,只要不坏了她的贞洁……”

“闭嘴!别三句不离老本行,这可不是**小说!”

李佳玉一把揪住了黑暗章鱼的脑袋,对着它龇牙咧嘴地吼道:

“死章鱼,你不是在平行空间那里好好地待着么?怎么忽然间又回到我身边……”说到最后,李佳玉的声音越来越弱,感激之情不以言表,这回要不是黑暗章鱼及时赶回来,那么他就要给邕城陪葬了。

“呃……事情是这样的啦……”

黑暗章鱼噼里啪啦地就告诉了李佳玉真相,登时令李佳玉的脸色难看至极,青一阵红一阵,嘴角都在抽搐:

“就是说,你把战斗录像都给传到了网上?那群地球人,应该只是拿来当成科幻电影来欣赏吧?糟糕……我那时候好像还是光明女神之身……”

“对啊对啊,他们刚好看到主人你被菲奥娜女王用力地捏胸部、摸下面,我还给你屈辱的表情来了个特写,激发起全地球人的怜香惜玉之情,让他们同仇敌忾,在一瞬间爆发出超浓郁的信念之力……然后,我就用这股力量撕破了空间,回到你身边了……”

(未完待续)

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