第1591章 而他，依旧在笑！
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“小时候，常觉得自己最独特、盲目自大世界都是我的，大了一些又否定自己妄自菲薄世界都是别人的。
人生大概就是不停地在莫名自信和自卑中摆动，直至寻求到平衡点，后來发现最好的状态，对世界保持谦卑，对自己保持独立。
每个人背后都有形形的人生，不去指责别人，也不被别人所动，坚定而感恩，平凡而感动。
芝蓉，其实我说这么多充面子的心灵鸡汤，只是想告诉你，我懂你，比那些粗老汉们，都懂你，要不，你就凑合，凑合跟我算了，晚上十一点，隔壁小旅馆我等你哦！”
这是他第一次赤、裸裸的表达出，自己对竹叶青的渴望，也是他第一次表白，第一次叫自己的真名‘芝蓉’。
那一天见血了，捂着胸口的肖胜，依旧在笑，只不过转身之际，嘟囔了一句：
“以后再找你，得看黄历，不然，你还真就谋杀亲夫了！”
气急败坏，一项波澜不惊的竹叶青，在愤然中，看着对方狼狈的逃逸，在冷艳中，再次勾勒出，会心的笑容。
造化弄人，一次次的任务，使得竹叶青在每次把对方忘却之际，又让他的形象，再一次活现在自己面前，撮合着两人彼此之间的熟知。
太多的过去，值得她去追忆，追忆似水年华，追忆那所谓的沧海桑田。
当紧扣的心门，被一次次的敲响；当松动的心扉，被他一次次的撬动；当不安被踏实取代，当不见面的日子，内心隐隐思念，当他对别的女人笑，内心隐隐作痛之际。
竹叶青知道，她像个正常女人那样，动心了，只不过悸动，依旧隐匿在心底深处，不知道该怎么表达，只能用一次次的‘妥协’，自欺欺人。
他们的职业，注定了亦比常人更容易，天各一方，苗疆之行的主动请缨，也许是竹叶青第一次打着任务的借口，为自己牟取‘私利’。
在归家的那些日子里，度日如年，惶惶不安中，打听着他的消息，大起大落的背后，都有一道孤独背影，坐在老城墙上，望着北方，祈祷，共鸣。
沒有希望，也许就不会失望，沒有誓言，也许就沒有食言，第一次觉得，等待是件如此痛苦的事情，特别是在知道，他已经身陷险境的时候，那时候的竹叶青，无法用语言形容自己的情绪。
狂躁不安，惶然失措，沒了主见，沒了安全感，一次次造次的闯入自家老爷子的书房，冷冷的站在那里，只为接过老爷子递给她的，关于他的资料，久而久之，她成为了柳家的另类，唯一一个不需要墨守成规的存在。
他來了，沒有所谓的五彩云，但却让人心颤的就伫立在柳家大院，以舍我其谁的气势，近乎咆哮得，嘶喊着自己的名字。
渐行渐远的家乡，却出奇的沒有让她留念，唯有坐在他的身边，才真正的拥有了那份归属感。
然而现在，当他满身鲜血，脸色苍白，单手捂着不断往外涌出的鲜血，另一只手仍旧艰难的想要握住自己之际，竹叶青哭了，竭斯底里的哭。
而他，依旧在笑。
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