十、永远不要与傻叉和贱人战斗没有胜算的。
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“你们……都来吃饭吧。龙腾小说网ltxs520.com”
叶菲的眼神怪怪的,她对猴子充满了各种好奇,因为这么多年他真的是第一个可以跟建刚妹妹有肢体接触的男人,这相当了不起了,以前这么干的人,都被揍进医院了。
吃饭的时候,看上去风平浪静,但只要叶菲转身,饭桌立刻变成战场。建刚妹妹总是出其不意的想去攻击猴子,但只要她出手,无论什么时候猴子都能完美格挡,甚至他低头吃饭的时候都能闪避掉建刚妹妹的雷霆一击。
“你怎么做到的?”
终于,在一连串的交锋之后,建刚妹妹总算是放弃了对猴子的攻势,开始安安稳稳的吃饭,不过她仍然按耐不住她强烈的好奇心,主动询问猴子到底是这是为什么。
“这是个秘密,想知道?”猴子眉头一扬,朝建刚妹妹招招手:“来来来。”
建刚妹妹终于按耐不住自己的好奇心凑了上去,猴子也没搞怪同样凑到她耳边说道:“陪叔叔睡一觉,叔叔告诉你。”
“那我宁可去死。”建刚妹妹撇撇嘴:“老子对男人一点兴趣都没有,就算有也绝对不是你这种烂货。”
“在我看来,你才是烂货。包夜八折,送啤酒。”
叶菲此刻已经进屋睡下了,一晚上的恐惧和疲惫让她此刻连眼睛都睁不开。在她睡觉的这段时间,猴子跟建刚妹妹倒是没再发生什么冲突,时不时的对骂两句解解闷什么的,接着就一起坐在沙发上看电视一起骂电视里的烂节目。
跟建刚妹妹对喷的感觉要比和小红对喷的感觉好多了,因为猴子承认自己真的是喷不过那个诡异的人工智能,但对于建刚妹妹这种脑子里都是肌肉的小怪兽那可就是碾压式的嘴炮攻击,这让猴子爽翻天。
“我今天晚上去做掉那家伙。”
看电视看的好好的,建刚妹妹突然蹦出了这么一句话:“不过这次老子可能会被捕,如果我被抓了,你给老子离叶子远点。”
“你管得着么。”
“那你信不信我也杀了你?”
“你觉得你行么?”猴子伸了个懒腰,从衣服口袋里掏出一包没用过的新裤衩:“你床不错,我洗澡睡觉去咯,还好你没把我的裤衩给弄丢,要杀我请加油。”
“你敢睡老子床试试看!”
后来……猴子真的睡在了建刚妹妹的床上,盖着带着女孩子体味的被子睡得格外香甜,不是建刚妹妹同意,而是实在是拿这个家伙没办法,即使他睡着了都能自带神闪避功能,完全沾不到他的边,唯一一下砸中他的还是建刚妹妹负气往墙上扔的枕头。
最后可怜的建刚妹妹只好抱着香喷喷软绵绵的叶子姑娘睡了整整一下午,一直到夜幕降临时才起床。
她起床时,身边香喷喷软绵绵的叶子姑娘还在酣睡,昨晚经历的事情让她的精神疲惫过了头,从她的眼动可以看出她正在做着一场噩梦。
建刚妹妹轻轻吻了一下叶子,像往常一样穿着几乎半透明的睡衣和一条小裤衩就走向了卫生间,可一打开门就看到了拿着一本女性杂志蹲在马桶上撇大条的猴子,她脸上顿时一个大写的懵逼。
“卧槽,你吓死爹了。”
“你才吓死老子了呢!”建刚妹妹皱着眉头走进卫生间,浑然不顾撇大条的猴子:“你用老子的牙刷!?”
“我特么又不知道哪个是你的。”猴子头也不抬:“你要来帮我擦屁股么?”
建刚妹妹咬牙切齿的走了出去,越想越气,看着猴子那张脸她就有一股无明业火蒸腾而起,可关键那家伙还赶不走,被叶子邀请来之后居然顺理成章的住下了赶都赶不走。
不过很快,她的心情就好了不少,因为她发现……猴子居然会做饭,不但会做饭,还做的一手好饭。她本身是不会做饭的,除了用电饭锅蒸香肠之外,基本上没有别的技能了,香喷喷软绵绵的叶子姑娘虽然会一点,但仅限于辣椒炒肉、西红柿炒蛋这样的简单花样,有时候叶菲上班值班的时候,她就只能下楼买点红烧牛肉、清蒸排骨之类的东西,老因为运气不好,光没有叉子就出现了三回、缺少调料包的次数更是数不胜数。
然而猴子做的饭,同样是用冰箱里的材料,却硬是要得,虽然不敢说是色香味意形全满分,但色香味绝对没问题,那红烧肉硬是让她吃出了酒店大厨的水准。
“你还会这一手?”
“我还能让你生个儿子。”
刚对猴子加的那零点五分在一瞬间再次清零,建刚也懒得跟他废话了,只顾着低头吃饭,来了个眼不见为净。
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