七十九、一个认真的逗逼
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猴爷精神系全免啊!
就连光波都无法对猴爷造成任何精神上的冲击,也就是说作为精神系之王,猴爷免疫一切其他的精神系技能。更多小说ltxs520.com△
但就在刚才,这只黑瘦的小猴子居然穿透了他的屏障,直接让他的大脑做出了成像反应。
这种都不算大触,什么才算大触?能穿透屏障就代表能伤害到猴爷,所以他第一件事就是想着怎么处理这个根本不像小姑娘的小姑娘。
猴爷的眼神有些灰暗,每当他露出这样的表情,就说明他动了杀念。
“你叫什么名字!”
“我……我叫琉璃。”
“今年多大!”
“十六岁……”
猴爷一愣,顺手就把这个十六岁的琉璃扔到了一边:“嘁,未成年。”
一个十六岁的小孩,能对自己有什么威胁?真是个笑话,虽然她能穿透屏障,但穿透就穿透了呗,反正她那点能耐也没办法干什么,就凭她想杀自己……两万个恐怕都玄。
“别怕。”猴爷重新躺了回去:“我只是感觉你长得像我前妻。”
嘿!前妻黄这个梗太好用了,在对付姑娘的时候简直百试不爽,碰到愿意撩的,就继续往下编,碰到不愿意撩的,一声前妻已然绝杀。
果不其然,没见过什么世面的琉璃蹲坐在螃蟹桶旁边,整张脸红的都快肿了。这也着实不怪他,人家前妻黄在说这话之前之后都有漫长的铺垫,先是让姑娘看到他风流的外表和落寞的背影,再告诉姑娘曾经自己是多么的渣,接着再摆出一副幡然醒悟的样子,希望姑娘来当他的救世主……
哪特么有猴爷这样上来就说人家长得像前妻的……
“真……真的吗?”琉璃扬起脸:“她跟我一样丑吗?”
猴爷想了想,捏着下巴说道:“说起来,我也只是听说过我有个前妻,还真没见过面。既然没见过面嘛,说你像就像好了。”
琉璃被他说得笑了起来,不过笑起来还是像只皱巴巴的小猴子……跟漂亮两个字一点都不沾边。
“不过你也够奇怪了,十六岁了。女孩子应该在十二三岁开始长个,然后十四五出屁股再等到十六七的时候,胸就该出来了。”猴爷露出了猥琐的笑容:“到十八岁就是出栏的年纪了,一般情况包夜五百,这是最便宜的了。好看点的包夜一千五,好看点又有身材的包夜三千,如果又好看又有身材还活儿好的,最少八千起步,要是又好看又有身材还活儿好还情商智商高的,那可就是个无底洞。”
“什……什么是包夜?”
“包夜就是包通宵啊,不限次数的,不过一般都是两三轮结束。而且包夜里通常有大全套的,跟快餐完全不同。不过千万不要接大学狗的生意,那帮逼玩意天天精力没地方发泄,就跟发情的公牛一样能折腾你一晚上,不划算。算上设备磨损,你连本都回不来。”
“?”小猴子歪着头,一脸不解的看着自言自语的猴子,完全听不懂这家伙在叨叨说些什么……
“算了。”猴爷用手枕着头靠在沙滩上:“你干活,我睡一会儿。”
“哦……”
而在他们讨论包夜是什么的时候,丛林里模拟杀戮已经开始了。在看到信号命令的焰火之后,隐藏在角落中的叶菲像一只捕猎的猫似的接近一对早就被她盯上却仍然以为自己躲的很好的菜鸟组合。
但就在她准不捕猎时,突然就看见身后一道人影冲了出去,她来不及阻止就看到毓婷像蜘蛛一样几乎是贴着地面窜出去,接着像风一样站在那两人的面前,摆出一个拉风的姿势。
“选红的还是白的。”
只见他手里拿着两朵野花,表情严肃。不过那浓浓的中二气息和不经意流淌出来的气质却让叶菲流露出古怪的神色。
“你是谁……”
“既然你诚心诚意的问了,那我就大发慈悲的告诉你。我是虔诚的脑残粉,正在用生命践行脑残粉的存在意义。”
“妈的弱智……”
说着,那两个人就围上去打算摘毓婷的红绳,但没想到两个四级的强化系能力者在接触的一瞬间就被同时放倒,而毓婷却像没有动过一样站在那里。
叶菲在远处揉了揉眼睛,她根本没看到毓婷有任何动作,但那两个人却实实在在的扑倒在地,而且身上像是被什么东西压着似的,动弹不得。
“早给我不就没事了么,真是……”
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