二一七、飞翔的自行车
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
猴爷被她烦到崩溃,随便披了件土气十足的外套带上钱包就带着这个磨人的小妖精离开了别墅区。龙腾小说ltxs520.com不过……猴爷到现在都不会开车啊,说出来可能没人相信,堂堂吕大神至今不会开车,出行不是打车就是坐公交,地铁偶尔也坐,如果有急事直接就用能力,总之就是不会开车,让他去考驾照他就各种事儿逼找借口,也不知道他脑子里到底在想些啥。
“我叫车哈,我们去哪玩?”布布终于得到了放风的机会,雀跃的不行:“我们去打电动吧!我好厉害的。”
“那……我们去看电影?”布布见猴爷不说话:“看电影总可以吧。”
“好好好,不看电影了,我们去吃好吃的吧。”
“不想吃啊?那……我们去哪里玩呢,你说嘛。哎呀,你好麻烦啊,这也不行那也不行,你怎么这么讨厌。”
猴爷沉吟片刻:“我们去广场看人跳广场舞。”
布布顿时石化,表情变化之快简直匪夷所思,然后她居然直接开始赖地打滚,生死不要去看广场舞……
“电影有什么好看,看科幻片?那些科幻片都不如我看到的东西科幻。看恐怖片?这个世界上就没有比你恐怖的东西了。然后呢?爱情片?我特么跟你这个小兔崽子去看爱情片?你有病还是我有病?”
“你这么一说……”小兔崽子很深沉的摸着下巴:“好像有那么点道理啊。”
“废话!”
“那我们去干点什么呢,好不容易才从我妈的魔爪里逃出来。哎呀,你知道最可怕的是什么吗,她不打你也不骂你,就那么歪着头看着你,看得你整个人都不好,好可怕的。”布布想了想,突然瞪大了眼睛看着猴爷:“不如我们去打击犯罪啊!”
“你有病啊?犯罪分子招你了啊?”
“不是啊,我看飞天小女警里这样好帅的啊。”
“飞天小女警?你怎么不说是舞法天女呢?”
“那个也好看!去不去嘛去不去嘛,去吧去吧……求求你了,就一次!”
猴爷是个什么人?他可是个没有完整道德体系的东西,信守着自己独特的世界观、价值观,其他的东西在他眼里一概都是垃圾。说实话,他干过的事拉出去枪毙三百回都够了,就这么一恶霸让他去行侠仗义,这不是难为人么?
可是偏偏布布是个不依不饶的主,关键要是别人猴爷一巴掌就扇过去了,可偏偏这丫头……让猴爷实在舍不得啊。
“好吧,就一次啊。”
“万岁!”
打击犯罪这种事啊,真不是像电影里那么简单的。要知道这是什么地方?这特么是首都啊,天子脚下哪里有那么多犯罪可以打击的。抓小偷?猴爷丢不起那人。去机场缉毒?那特么不是有狗么,跟狗抢活干?传出去猴爷不用做人了。除了这些,还能有啥?调戏妇女啊?猴爷自己没事还调戏妇女呢,没事难为同行有什么意思。
这就很尴尬了,一大一小满世界找犯罪分子,关键还找不着……急得布布直挠头,恨不得现在突然出现一个准备破坏城市的大怪兽。
猴爷则蹲在马路牙子上盯着来来回回的汽车发呆,打击犯罪这种事……好难,真的好难啊。总不能到派出所去找警察叔叔说“你们有什么案子要处理吗,我来帮你们”,这不被人赶出来才奇怪呢。
“好失落……”布布丧气的蹲在猴爷的身边,小小的脑袋靠在他胳膊上:“我不甘心。”
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