二百九十六、倡导健康生活，远离不正常人群
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很快，流苏打扮的漂漂亮亮从楼上下来，虽然还是傻乎乎的抱着那只鸟，但至少干净靓丽的她着实让人眼前一亮，她出来之后就趴在柜台上跟猴爷聊天，聊的都是一些屁事，比如早上看到一只猫从二楼摔下来砸到另外一只猫啊，比如一堆蚂蚁把一只活蜈蚣拖走了啊等等，但谁让她漂亮呢，那些吃瓜群众可是羡慕死了猴爷这个老痞子了。
“老头，中午吃啥。”
“放心，还能亏了你？”掌柜跟猴爷现在熟的不行，开口也没大没小：“昨晚上刚杀了头羊，羊蝎子火锅怎么样？”
“牛肉不能少啊。”猴爷顺手把一个炸糯米团子塞进流苏的嘴里，然后走出了柜台：“苏仙儿，中午有火锅吃了。”
“嗯嗯嗯！”流苏疯狂点头：“老板的火锅是镇子上最棒的了。”
“妥。”掌柜被流苏这么一夸，眉毛都翘起来了：“能让苏仙儿夸上一夸，我这把老骨头都松了。”
“那行，我帮你紧紧。”猴爷撩起袖子：“老东西，一把年纪还敢姑娘。”
“哈哈哈哈，你们聊你们聊，我去后厨亲自给你们片牛肉去咯。”
唤过小二接了柜台的工作，猴爷就拽着流苏来到后院天井，这里之前还是堆破烂的地方，但这几天在猴爷的规划下已然成为了一处赏花赏月的好地方，人造的喷泉美轮美奂，据说这是客栈老板帮住店的一个天工门的家伙赎了个的姑娘，他无以为报特意给造的，原理至今不清。周围的摆设也是清清淡淡，透着一股子装逼用的恬静淡雅风，一颗枫树、几张石桌、满地红叶配上秋天的风和池子里晃来晃去的胖鲤鱼，简直安逸的不行。
“刚才那人是梁非凡，他来见天下第一剑仙的。”
“我啊我啊！我就是天下第一啊！”
“妈的……你早不告诉我？”
“你也没问我，不许说脏话！”流苏皱起眉头：“再说脏话师父要生气的哦。”
“你知道你是天下第一？你怎么知道的？”
流苏眼珠子一转，摸着下巴：“你师公说的啊，他说啊……”
说这话的时候，流苏装着有胡子，还一把一把摸着胡子，故意粗着声音说道：“流苏啊，师父已经没什么好教你的了，你若出世必定天下第一，谨记不可声张，更不许离开蜀地，挑选徒弟时一定要灵台清明，断然不可收下一个孽障！”
猴爷眨巴着眼睛，感觉这个师公不简单……
“不过还好，我家小初心是世上顶顶好的人，师父最喜欢你了。”
猴爷翻了个白眼……心说你特么大概是世界上第一个说我是好人的人了，果然智力是硬伤啊。
两个人正细细碎碎的聊天时，后头脚步声渐渐接近，猴爷回头发现正是那个吔屎的梁非凡，他假装欣赏着风景，一脸正人君子的样子，明明不停瞄着流苏，但就装出一副梁逸峰看风景的样子，真是太作了。
“啊，两位好。没想到在这遇见了。”
遇你麻痹，一个客栈就这么大地方，你特么说出来不心虚么？
猴爷脸一冷，但转瞬就笑了出来：“梁仙儿，刚才多有得罪。”
“不不不，是我多有得罪，无规矩不成方圆，还请海涵。”
哟，不错，挺懂礼貌的，这小朋友有意思。
猴爷眼珠子一转，伸手一扬：“请坐，我让小二给你上一壶顶好的龙井。”
“太客气了。”
你他妈说太客气的时候有本事拿出个水杯说你自备啊，一边说客气一边舔嘴唇是你妈几个意思？装！
坐下之后，茶也上了，梁非凡端起茶杯抿了一口，连说几声好茶，然后就开始跟猴爷聊家常，虽然眼睛一直偷瞄旁边玩雀雀的流苏，但对答起来倒也是显得知识渊博。即使是有些为了显摆而显摆，但到底还算是个挺有见识的。
“之前一直听说这镇子上有当世第一剑仙，梁某在外云游十余年，一直不曾谋面，如今想趁着这门派举办招亲大会的时候，好好会会这当世第一。据门派师兄弟说，那位剑仙至今没使过第二招，无论多强的对手，只用一招。”
放狗屁！
别人不知道，猴爷还不知道么？这些年他被流苏用各种姿势轮爆了不知道多少次，流苏揍他就没用过一样的姿势，虽然第二次用同样的姿势猴爷绝对有办法破解，但无奈这家伙愣是不重样，所以导致这些年自己愣是没赢过一次，浑身上下都被流苏打得没一块好肉……
“这么强啊……”猴爷嘴里感叹着，眼睛却斜视着流苏：“那真是太棒了。”
说流苏笨，这个时候她又精明的很，一句话不说，只是把下巴扬得老高，一脸小人得志的德行。
“对了，还没问阁下高姓大名，看谈吐你绝非这小客栈里的池中物。”
“没什么，只是在客栈里时间长了，见的人多了。”
“可连我也未听说过山海彼岸的法兰西有一位圣女贞德，那法兰西究竟在何处？”
猴爷指着西方：“一万六千里。”
正在这时，梁非凡的师弟在后头喊他，他也来不及多问，站起身朝猴爷抱拳之后，风度翩翩的离开了枫树之下。
“咿……我不喜欢他。”流苏摇摇头：“一副坏人样子。”
猴爷一愣，指着自己：“我好人？”
“对！”
“你可以的。”猴爷站起身：“走了，吃火锅去了，既然不喜欢他，那就看我折腾死他。”
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