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二百九十六、倡导健康生活,远离不正常人群

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很快,流苏打扮的漂漂亮亮从楼上下来,虽然还是傻乎乎的抱着那只鸟,但至少干净靓丽的她着实让人眼前一亮,她出来之后就趴在柜台上跟猴爷聊天,聊的都是一些屁事,比如早上看到一只猫从二楼摔下来砸到另外一只猫啊,比如一堆蚂蚁把一只活蜈蚣拖走了啊等等,但谁让她漂亮呢,那些吃瓜群众可是羡慕死了猴爷这个老痞子了。

“老头,中午吃啥。”

“放心,还能亏了你?”掌柜跟猴爷现在熟的不行,开口也没大没小:“昨晚上刚杀了头羊,羊蝎子火锅怎么样?”

“牛肉不能少啊。”猴爷顺手把一个炸糯米团子塞进流苏的嘴里,然后走出了柜台:“苏仙儿,中午有火锅吃了。”

“嗯嗯嗯!”流苏疯狂点头:“老板的火锅是镇子上最棒的了。”

“妥。”掌柜被流苏这么一夸,眉毛都翘起来了:“能让苏仙儿夸上一夸,我这把老骨头都松了。”

“那行,我帮你紧紧。”猴爷撩起袖子:“老东西,一把年纪还敢姑娘。”

“哈哈哈哈,你们聊你们聊,我去后厨亲自给你们片牛肉去咯。”

唤过小二接了柜台的工作,猴爷就拽着流苏来到后院天井,这里之前还是堆破烂的地方,但这几天在猴爷的规划下已然成为了一处赏花赏月的好地方,人造的喷泉美轮美奂,据说这是客栈老板帮住店的一个天工门的家伙赎了个的姑娘,他无以为报特意给造的,原理至今不清。周围的摆设也是清清淡淡,透着一股子装逼用的恬静淡雅风,一颗枫树、几张石桌、满地红叶配上秋天的风和池子里晃来晃去的胖鲤鱼,简直安逸的不行。

“刚才那人是梁非凡,他来见天下第一剑仙的。”

“我啊我啊!我就是天下第一啊!”

“妈的……你早不告诉我?”

“你也没问我,不许说脏话!”流苏皱起眉头:“再说脏话师父要生气的哦。”

“你知道你是天下第一?你怎么知道的?”

流苏眼珠子一转,摸着下巴:“你师公说的啊,他说啊……”

说这话的时候,流苏装着有胡子,还一把一把摸着胡子,故意粗着声音说道:“流苏啊,师父已经没什么好教你的了,你若出世必定天下第一,谨记不可声张,更不许离开蜀地,挑选徒弟时一定要灵台清明,断然不可收下一个孽障!”

猴爷眨巴着眼睛,感觉这个师公不简单……

“不过还好,我家小初心是世上顶顶好的人,师父最喜欢你了。”

猴爷翻了个白眼……心说你特么大概是世界上第一个说我是好人的人了,果然智力是硬伤啊。

两个人正细细碎碎的聊天时,后头脚步声渐渐接近,猴爷回头发现正是那个吔屎的梁非凡,他假装欣赏着风景,一脸正人君子的样子,明明不停瞄着流苏,但就装出一副梁逸峰看风景的样子,真是太作了。

“啊,两位好。没想到在这遇见了。”

遇你麻痹,一个客栈就这么大地方,你特么说出来不心虚么?

猴爷脸一冷,但转瞬就笑了出来:“梁仙儿,刚才多有得罪。”

“不不不,是我多有得罪,无规矩不成方圆,还请海涵。”

哟,不错,挺懂礼貌的,这小朋友有意思。

猴爷眼珠子一转,伸手一扬:“请坐,我让小二给你上一壶顶好的龙井。”

“太客气了。”

你他妈说太客气的时候有本事拿出个水杯说你自备啊,一边说客气一边舔嘴唇是你妈几个意思?装!

坐下之后,茶也上了,梁非凡端起茶杯抿了一口,连说几声好茶,然后就开始跟猴爷聊家常,虽然眼睛一直偷瞄旁边玩雀雀的流苏,但对答起来倒也是显得知识渊博。即使是有些为了显摆而显摆,但到底还算是个挺有见识的。

“之前一直听说这镇子上有当世第一剑仙,梁某在外云游十余年,一直不曾谋面,如今想趁着这门派举办招亲大会的时候,好好会会这当世第一。据门派师兄弟说,那位剑仙至今没使过第二招,无论多强的对手,只用一招。”

放狗屁!

别人不知道,猴爷还不知道么?这些年他被流苏用各种姿势轮爆了不知道多少次,流苏揍他就没用过一样的姿势,虽然第二次用同样的姿势猴爷绝对有办法破解,但无奈这家伙愣是不重样,所以导致这些年自己愣是没赢过一次,浑身上下都被流苏打得没一块好肉……

“这么强啊……”猴爷嘴里感叹着,眼睛却斜视着流苏:“那真是太棒了。”

说流苏笨,这个时候她又精明的很,一句话不说,只是把下巴扬得老高,一脸小人得志的德行。

“对了,还没问阁下高姓大名,看谈吐你绝非这小客栈里的池中物。”

“没什么,只是在客栈里时间长了,见的人多了。”

“可连我也未听说过山海彼岸的法兰西有一位圣女贞德,那法兰西究竟在何处?”

猴爷指着西方:“一万六千里。”

正在这时,梁非凡的师弟在后头喊他,他也来不及多问,站起身朝猴爷抱拳之后,风度翩翩的离开了枫树之下。

“咿……我不喜欢他。”流苏摇摇头:“一副坏人样子。”

猴爷一愣,指着自己:“我好人?”

“对!”

“你可以的。”猴爷站起身:“走了,吃火锅去了,既然不喜欢他,那就看我折腾死他。”

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