第三千六百四十四章 小幽灵：新绝招GET！
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“足都啦，愣曾你烙里滋几定。”被我揉着脸的小幽灵，含糊不清的发出抗议。
“与时俱进你个头，够了，我是唯一受害者，我说够了就够了！”
摆脱我的魔爪，小幽灵继续唉声叹气，眉目间写满破产二字的幽怨：“小凡，你想想看，如果一个搞笑艺人，十多年来原地踏步，一直用着旧梗，毫无创新，一本剧本一台演出，从出道一直用到现在，大家会不会厌烦，台下看了十几年几百遍的观众，还能笑得出来么？”
“这的确是挺严峻的。”小幽灵这么一比喻，我好像似乎意识到了事情的严重性。
“所以，创新势在必行！”见我理解了，小幽灵摆了个赞美太阳的POSE。
“不，等等，你这是强词夺理，说到底观众或者说受害者只有我一个，只要我不觉得厌烦就够了，对吧。”
“我觉得眼睛这个部位挺好。”
“一点都不好！而且你仔细想想。”我一个激灵，真要是被她开发出什么新绝招，就算买一送十我的钛合金狗眼估计都不够用了。
“你仔细想想，刚才莉莉斯才用过的招式，你就急着模仿，这叫什么，抄袭！山寨！拾人牙慧！身为圣女你不觉得丢人吗？”
“抄袭不费脑，这很好呀，我到是一点都不觉得。”
“……”我都快忘了，这小圣女没心没肺且毫无羞耻心来着。
“不过小凡说的也有道理，既然说创新了，那总得先自己的动动脑子，想不到再说。”
别再说呀喂，给我好好想一想！
等等，什么时候开始我已经默认了小幽灵开发新绝招？！
意识到被小幽灵带了一波节奏，把自己陷入深坑，我正想补救，发现这小圣女两脚浮空，绕着自己打转，转呀转，目光逐渐落到另外一个眼上。
我倒吸一口凉气，闭上眼，想象着未来和小幽灵久别重逢的情景。
“小凡~~~”
“小幽灵~~~”
夕阳下，久别的恋人在海边重逢，开始了教科书般的奔跑，然后小幽灵将教科书随手一扔，开始加速，再加速。
幽灵体炮弹蓄势待发，呼啸而来。
我含泪张开双臂，等待痛并快乐的激情相拥，然后就在一横一竖两道影子要重叠在一起的瞬间，小幽灵忽然一个下沉！
上半身直接从我胯下穿了过去，然后双手合十，食指并拢成枪，自胯下一个倒挂金钩式千年杀！
噗！！！
喷血量超大！！！
画面定格在了此处。
“不行不行，绝对不行，小幽灵我警告你，你要是敢对我打什么歪主意，开发些奇奇怪怪的绝技，小心我六亲不认，每天给你穿上十条内裤！”
猛地睁开双眼，我声色俱厉，拿出自己最具威胁力的台词。
“小凡你在说什么呀，什么对你打什么歪主意，我怎么一个字也听不懂？”回应我的，是小幽灵含糊不清的反问。
只见她不知什么时候手上捧起了一颗无瑕疵钻石，放我嘴里啊呜啊呜啃咬着，不同以往的胡乱塞嘴里大口大口咀嚼，她十指灵活的轻轻旋转着钻石，牙齿就宛如精密的机床，伴随着有节奏的咔嚓咔嚓声响，不到一会儿，小幽灵将钻石吐了出来。
只见一颗圆溜溜的无瑕疵钻石，此时已经变成了一朵怒放的纯白菊花，钻石特有的璀璨光华，使得这颗菊花的每一片花瓣之间都闪烁着星辰般的光辉，超越世间一切艺术品的美丽，已经令人词穷，语言的苍白完全无法描绘它的百分之一。
“小凡小凡，怎么样，本圣女最新研究出来的绝招，就叫口吐莲花……不，是菊花。”在我呆滞的表情中，小幽灵一双银色美眸眨呀眨，说有多无辜，就有多无辜。
然而，我分明看到这只无辜的梅花鹿，眼神里流转着的狡黠打趣之意。
“竟然敢吓唬我，有胆别跑！”
“区区小凡也想命令本圣女，门都没有。”
“那你继续跑，给我跑快点跑远点，不许停！”
“哦。”
“你到底是听话还是不听啊混蛋！！！”
一路回到魔王村，都回荡着小幽灵甜美的笑声，以及我气急败坏的怒吼……
。。。
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