第三千六百九十七章 老年观光团?
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
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“其实……我并不想为自己的罪名辩解,也不指望能减免惩罚,我知道我有罪。网址找回邮件:ltxsba@gmail.com”家中,我正耐心的和满脸寒霜的爱娃儿作解释。
顺便吐槽一句,你冷冰个什么劲,没用的,像我那么拉风的救世主,就像漆黑中的萤火虫,只要舍得扔掉节操,立刻变身圣月贤狼,你还不得立刻扑上来当舔狗?
魔王村有是有监狱,不过都很随意,象征性作用更大些,平时主要关的都是些喝醉酒大吵大闹的家伙。
爱娃儿大概是觉得监狱关不住我,直接把我押回家里来关,等于是面壁思过,这回可好,之前还暗地里嘲笑瓦尔凯米特,现在和他一样下场了。
“我这么说你可能不信,是对方先动的手。”
“然后呢?阁下就可以脱对方的裤子?”爱娃儿一句犀利反问,让我哽咽片刻。
“咳咳,当然,我终于意识到这是不对的,我刚才不是说了么?我有罪。”
“终于?”
“不,我的意思说……那个,你看,毕竟贝雅也没说什么。”
“于是阁下就利用少女的天真无邪做出了这等变态举动?”
“这种事我很难跟你解释,对吧,你看,我刚才说了,是对方先动的手,于是呢,我呢,也不是故意的,就是那种……你懂的,纯粹的本能,下意识的就做了,并不是有意这么变态,你能懂我的意思么?”
“我懂了。”
“偶尔我发现你还蛮好说话的。”我吁了一口气,不用被别人当变态的感觉,跟多力一样好。
“阁下就是个天生的变态狂,对吧。”
“……”你说这抖M天使公主,什么时候练就了如此牙尖嘴利,这到底是人性的扭曲,还是道德的伦桑?
或是我的锅?
“那我们再换一个角度来看这个问题。”深呼吸一口气,我觉得必须纠正爱娃儿扭曲的三观,让她觉得,身为贝雅姐夫的我脱贝雅安全裤这种事,其实并……或许……也没有那么变态?
对不起,阿尔托莉雅,我有罪,我想吃咖喱棒。
但话已经出口,我尴尬的一阵比手画脚,最后只能硬着头皮说下去。
“换个角度,哦对,换个角度,贝雅先动手的对吧,我摔倒了,你看,差点就擦破皮毛了,为了制止她的恶行,我不得不出此下策,你想想看,就算是受到了如此严重的挑衅,我也未曾想过要伤害她,贝雅受到了伤害吗?没有,我这算是超级无敌仁慈的正当防卫反击,龙哥在天之灵可以作证!”
“所以,阁下的罪名并非防卫过当,也并非伤害他人,仅仅是因为太变态。”爱娃儿似乎懒得和我说了,转身甩了我一个后脑勺。
你这家伙,别嚣张,我变身咯?我真的要变身咯?!
不好,这难道才是这抖M天使的真正阴谋目的?我可不能上当,把节操捂好了。
“怎么样,这笨蛋承认罪名了么?”带着幸灾乐祸的笑容,恶龙蕾娜一路跟在后头,恨不得手里捧着个瓜,屁股后头粘着把折凳,往那一坐,美滋滋吃瓜看戏。
“诶,姑且是没有抵赖。”
天使和巨龙的关系不怎么好,连带着恶龙蕾娜和爱娃儿关系也一般,当然,这个一般对比的是自家其他女孩们的亲密关系,双子公主和卡洁儿那种不算。
话不投机,性格差异,种族对立,若是涉及到这个家的话题,姑且还是能闲聊到一块那种,比如说现在。
“我什么时候抵赖过?”我愤怒的一拍桌子,别以为我现在是犯人,你就能随便污蔑我。
“在我的印象中,到是好像没有。”恶龙蕾娜歪头思考一会,给出了出乎意料的答案,本以为她会落井下石才对,是我错怪了她吗?
“所以说,来,不会抵赖的笨蛋德鲁伊,把这个给签了吧。”
我下意识接过小本子和笔,目光一凝,随即狠狠将本子摔在地上:“胡说八道,我什么时候输了那么多次,明明是我赢你的次数比较多,倒不如说每次都是我赢才对!”
没错,我是错怪了这小母龙,她不会落井下石,她只会乘火打劫。
“这家伙要面壁思过多久?”
见阴谋失败,恶龙蕾娜到也没太失望,只是嘴里嘀咕了一阵子【本来还想着这笨蛋或许会看错数字一时高兴把名签了看来是我太天真了】这样的莫名其妙的话语,混沌错乱的犹如古神呢喃。
我会看错数字?不存在的。
“考虑到犯人对魔王村的重要性,只能勉为其难的宽大处理,减轻责罚,关两天就好了。”爱娃儿重重叹息一口气,仿佛内心身为天使的公正和纯洁受到了极大亵渎似的。
“请问,如果是按照一般情况定罪呢?”我是好孩子,不懂就问。
“火刑。”
“……”
那还真是减轻了好多嚯。
“但是我的时间很值钱,两天时间你知道意味着什么么?”我低下头,十指交错抵着下巴,语气透露着一股子深不可测的大人物的感觉,只差副眼镜,很急。
“意味着长老大人可以有两天时间正经八百的在梦里修炼。”
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