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第三千七百七十五章 是个奇怪的人

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最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com

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“现在该怎么办?”

我一边和对方保持着对视状态,一边躲在背后的手打了几个手势。最新地址ltxsba.pw

SOS!

拜托了,大家都是成年人,能别那么幼稚,这种时候搞点什么众里寻他千百度的狗血浪漫么?思想成熟点,那人不在灯火阑珊处,家里厨房烧着饭呢。

更何况,还是三万年前的本子娜,虽说不能完全划上等号吧,但无论如何,这只是梦,现实不可挽回,都已经变成那样了,脾气暴躁,冷脸毒舌,动辄拔剑刺额,我在梦里劝她善良有什么用?

“稳住,凡凡,千万不能挪开目光。”身为狗头军师,蒂亚的声音听起来好像比我还激动:“这是难得的机会,得把握住,一口气接近。”

“所以我该怎么做?”

“快用凡凡你独特的魅力吸引住娜娜的目光!”

我有个鬼的独特魅力嗷!

“要自信,你可是我引以为傲的丈夫!”

狗头军师发动了“MAX级鼓舞”技能,救世主得到鼓舞,士气提升1000%,获得临时蜜汁自信BUFF。

救世主,要上了!

我的目光一下变得深沉忧郁起来,身上的巫师法袍一扯一扬,高高飞起,一手扶墙,一手在空气中潇洒轻挥,变魔术似的捏出了一朵红玫瑰,叼在嘴中,左右眼皮在0.1秒之内高速眨了⑨次,朝对面的窗口抛了一记电眼。

若是这样还不行,或许可以尝试唱一首对面的女孩看过来,我想没有哪个女孩能拒绝得了,就是这么自信。

一秒过后,二楼的窗口缓缓合了上去。

第二秒,接着警报声大作。

第三秒,脚底下亮起了传送阵,眼前一黑,我保持着嘴叼玫瑰,单手扶墙的魅力姿势,出现在了一间阴森森的地牢里。

放——我——出——去!!!

奋力摇着手臂一样粗的铁围栏,手心传来的纹丝不动的扎实手感,让我无力地跪倒在了地上。

一键坐牢,这也太真实了吧!

“为什么要这样对我?我只不过是想交个朋友而已!”

囚椅中,被数十个魔法禁锢的动弹不得的我,对前方一张长桌上边,一排坐着十个散发着疑似宗教审判所般可怕气息的黑袍法师,大声抗议道。

“你不是第一个这么说的人,也不会是最后一个。”中间一名法师冷漠说道,显然不打算和我废话。

“姓名。”

我刚想开口,狗头军师蒂亚在耳边嘀咕几声,总之就是弄虚作假的意思。

“塔拉夏。”我可真是个小机灵鬼。

“性别”,“男”,“年龄”,“42”;“职业”,“巫师。”

“你的灵魂魔法是从哪里得来的?”

“老师给的。”

“你的老师是谁?”

……

在蒂亚的指引下,开头还算顺利,总算瞒过了这群法师,话说回来,蒂亚哪里准备的如此详细的资料,该不会她估算到我会被抓起来吧。

Emmm……

蒂亚下士,等我出去以后,你还是继续做你的替身使者吧。

本以为可以就此蒙混过关,没想到这群杀气腾腾的黑袍巫师,审问的问题忽然变得诡异起来。

“你觉得细剑好使还是狼牙棒?”

说不是搞错了,你们可是法师,就没有法杖这个选项么?那当然是狼牙棒呀!

不,我吐槽的方向好像也有点搞错了,总之……

“细剑,凡凡,细剑!”

“细剑。”

“海里真的有鱼吗?”

“有的。”

“你觉得胸大点还是胸小点更好?”

“不大不小正好合适那种……”

“你觉得什么样的动物最讨厌?”

“蟾蜍之类的……”

“猴子真的会爬树?”

“会的。”

“最近总是很介意自己的打扮和其他人有些格格不入有必要换一身普通点的衣服吗?”

“我觉得挺好,无需介意其他人的眼光,自己高兴就好……”

“矮人都是长着大胡子吗?”

“男的一般都留……”

“心情不好的时候干点什么比较好?”

“吃饭睡觉打猴子……”

“亚瑞特山脉到底有多少雪?”

“和沙漠里的沙子一样多。”

我忍不住附耳即将失业的狗头军师:“你确认眼前这家伙不是本子娜?”

这些怪问题,答的我想打人。

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