第三章 傻孩子。
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定锤确实是逮住了小乞丐,可把小乞丐抓进房间里之后,他却发愁了。龙腾小说网ltxs520.com
火腿肠会说话这件事,其实并不能被人接受,一旦事情败露出去,火腿肠被抓过去研究那是必然。而以这厮的尿性,它不把定锤供出来那才叫有鬼呢,到时候定锤别说回家了,说不定连天日都再也见不到了,一想到自己被拉过去解剖的惨状,他就浑身发麻。
可事实上,让他去揍个小孩,那肯定是没什么问题的。可让他真去把这小乞丐做成包子,他却犯难了。他现在唯一能做的就是坐在床沿上抽烟,看着小乞丐乐呵呵的满屋子逮火腿肠。
“喂!你想出办法没有?”火腿肠肥胖的身体实在是经不起这么折腾,连滚带爬的从床底下钻出来逃向柜子里底的缝隙时,它气喘吁吁的问道:“我快撑不住了。”
定锤低头看了它一眼,弹了弹烟灰:“你再跑一会,我想想办法。”
“喂!别想了!”火腿肠都快哭了:“我不想被他抓住,他身上好脏!”
“脏啊……嗯……”定锤摸了摸下巴,一拍大腿,大喝一声:“停下!”
小乞丐应声而停,亮晶晶的眼睛看着定锤,嘴里发出“咿”的声音,丝毫不害怕定锤的凶相。
“你!”定锤指着卫生间:“先滚去洗澡!”
“洗澡?”小乞丐歪着脑袋,一脸纯良的看着定锤,用破碎的语句咿咿呀呀说道:“洗?”
定锤看到他的傻样,哎哟了一声用手捂住了自己的脸,然后站起身开始比划着洗澡冲凉的样子:“洗澡!就是用水把你身上的脏东西洗掉,不然我把你做包子!”
“包子!包子!”小乞丐一听到包子,顿时手舞足蹈了起来,然后指着自己的肚子:“饿!”
火腿肠好不容易捞到了一会儿自在,喘着大气蹦到了定锤旁边,认真的对他说:“他的智商可能有问题。”
定锤摇摇头:“绝对没有问题!”
“你怎么知道的?”
“你看他的眼睛。”定锤指着小乞丐的眼睛:“智商有问题的人,眼睛绝对没这么亮,这是我在社会上久经历练总结出来的经验。”
而小乞丐站在那边,一边喊着饿,一边模仿者刚才定锤教给他的洗澡动作。看样子是非常非常认真的在学习。
不多一会,定锤再次出声:“赶紧去洗澡!”
小乞丐看了看定锤,扭头又看了看卫生间,接着十分听话的走了进去,可刚走进去没多久,里头就传来了一阵乒乓乱响的声音,还有什么东西碎掉的声音……
“娘个逼啊!”
定锤骂了声娘,从床上站了起来,窜到了卫生间门口,果然发现那小乞丐一脸茫然的站在卫生间里,地上全是漱口杯摔碎的碎片还有一面镜子也被摔得粉碎。
“你是有多蠢!”定锤叉着腰骂道:“连这么点事都干不好吗?”
“蠢?”小乞丐歪着脑袋笑嘻嘻的看着他,并且重复着他的话:“蠢……蠢……”
“操……别对着老子喊蠢!”定锤真的是被这家伙给挫败了:“快点洗澡,洗干净了老子再把你给做成包子。”
“洗……”小乞丐仰起头盯着他,眼神里全是不解:“洗!”
定锤深深的吸了口气,喃喃自语道:“就是老子前世讨债的祖宗!”
说完,定锤先是让他别动,然后帮他把地上的玻璃碴子收拾干净,接着帮他打开了水龙头,最后调试好了水温,并用手一指:“脱衣服!”
“脱?”
“操!”定锤就知道这家伙不懂,然后撩起袖子,忍着小乞丐衣服散发出来的臭味,接着把他的上衣给脱了下来。接着赶紧把那身臭烘烘的衣服扔到了垃圾桶里,接着指着小乞丐的裤子说:“自己脱裤子!”
不得不说,定锤的眼力价还真是没的说,这个小乞丐绝对不是个白痴,只要定锤教过他一遍的事,他立刻就能自己完成的很好。
不过当他把裤子完全脱下之后……定锤整个人都呆立当场,半天没有反应过来,直到那小乞丐笑嘻嘻的抓着他的衣角边晃荡边喊“脱”的时候,定锤才高喊道:“火腿肠!快来啊!”
“噔噔噔……”一阵骚动之后,火腿肠连蹦带跳还在地上摔了一跤的蹭进了卫生间,而当它看到小乞丐之后,也愣了。
“是个女孩啊!”火腿肠再一次让自己浑身的毛都炸了起来:“是个女孩啊啊啊啊啊啊!”
定锤一脚踹开了火腿肠:“叫你奶奶个腿啊!安静点!”
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