第一章 骗吃骗喝的道士（一）
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既是中邪，那便和医无关，张百龄到处去寻些有法术的和尚道士，前两日来了个和尚，身似菩萨，笑如弥勒，捏着拈花手，口颂金刚经，自称南海菩提士，来中土普度众生，弄得张夫人真当他是菩萨降临，好饭好菜伺候，末了，却被张仇在他光头上扣了一坛子屎尿，落荒而逃。
张仇的病虽重，但除去那溺子的张氏夫妇，合府上下却人人明白他的病根，起因是张仇在外做官的大舅有些门路，见新政县县尉已快到退仕的年龄，便想给他的外甥谋个差事，也好顺便照顾自己的家小，但条件只有一个，那就是必须有功名，至少是举人。信捎到张府，张百龄大喜过望，县尉虽不入流，但好歹也是个官，可转念又凉了心，儿子连童生的资格都没有，何谈举人，好在离县尉退仕还有一、二年，现在学还来得及，在委婉和儿子说明今后须得用功读书后，张仇一惊，便突然中了邪。
张百龄虽然也觉得这邪中得有些蹊跷，但身子老迈，禁不住夫人的擀面杖伺候，只得派人四处寻仙问道。
．．．．．．
“他奶奶的，去哪里找捉鬼的瘟猪道士？”
张才揉着额头上红肿的大包，恼恨地骂道，这已经是他两天来的第三个暴栗了，明明少爷是假装，偏就老爷和夫人看不出，把所有家人赶出来寻找什么和尚道士，这寒冬腊月的，和尚道士可不窝在被子里想尼姑道姑吗？
“无量佛！施主可是在寻道士？”
张才猛地一惊，急回过头来，象见了鬼一般，吓得连退几步，自己刚想道士，道士就出现在身后，只见他眼前出现一老一少两个道士，皆笑咪咪地望着自己，那老道士身穿一件满是刺毛的蓝色麻布道袍，上面斑斑点点，也不知道是什么东西，左手甩一柄马尾拂尘，右手却死死拖着一只粗布口袋，看那架势，象是怕人抢去，指节都捏得发白了，而旁边的少年道士，身上粘满枯枝草屑，两只拳头握得紧紧的，虽也在笑，但那笑容里分明有些不怀好意。
张才一阵心慌，结巴道：“是倒是，可是．．．．”他很是犹豫，眼前两人与其说是道士，倒不如说是两个叫花子，能领回府吗？
“可是什么？我们可是青城山正宗的道士，有官府的度牒。”那少年道士在身上摸了半天，却没找到，又笑道：“可能在包裹里！”便准备打开那硕大的行李包，细细搜寻一番。
“好了！别找了。”张才的脑门上一阵疼痛，心中长叹一声，便止住了少年道士。
“我家府上确实在寻道士驱邪，两位可跟我来。”
两个道士对视一眼，都掩饰不住眼中的狂喜：“若让他们解什么道家经典，恐怕难以唬弄，而捉鬼驱邪，可不正是他们拿手的么？”
捉鬼之初，先得看人，这家人衣料是半新的上好细麻，鞋为绸面布底，却洗得发白，只瞄一眼张才的穿戴，孔方道人便对张府的家境便有了初步的推断：大户人家，只怕有些吝啬。
“小哥，出来多少时辰了？这寒冬腊月的，可吃过晚饭？”
张才瞥了他们一眼，淡淡道：“放心！既让你们来驱邪，总归让你们吃饱”他突然想起一事，急低声道：“叫你们来是给少爷驱邪，你们可记住一点，少爷的邪可是中在心里，可有可无，明白吗？”
二人大喜，这家人的言外之意，便是说他家少爷根本没有中邪，孔方道人忙从口袋里掏出一把钱，悄悄塞给张才道：“亏得小哥提醒，这点钱，小哥可去喝碗酒，暖暖身子。”
张才本来是怕二人惹出事端连累他，便事先提醒，不料却有了意外收获，他掂掂铜钱，钱虽不多，但这份奉承却让他很是受用，随手揣进兜里，铜钱叮当作响，直美到心里去。考虑片刻，还是将少爷中邪的前因后果细细讲给二人听，算是还了这十几枚铜钱的情，最后再三叮嘱道：“我家老爷好说话，倒是夫人有些严格，两位可要认准人了。”
“省得！省得！”孔方道人忙不迭应道，吃这碗饭的，还看不出来吗？
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