【176】蹩脚招呕吐的表白
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“怎么原来你是不敢自己出去，要叫我陪啊！”方庭笑道。
“笑话！我不敢？你……那你看着猴子们，我出去走走。”老冯说完就走了出来，居然说老子不敢，不出来也太没面子了，可一个人出来又没什么地方好去，也罢，老子就等他们都睡了再回去，找借口往方庭房间里挤一挤吧。
在这阴森恐怖的城堡里头大晚上一个人还真是没什么好逛的，老冯沿着来路走了一圈，城堡里静得可怕，看了看表才九点钟，时间还这么早就变得跟个死城似地，这古堡旅游还真没什么搞头，也是要人多热闹才好玩啊！
走到城堡中心的一个小花园里，突然听见有人说话，着实吓了一跳，这里头没有任何照明设施，仅仅能靠高挂在天空中的月亮依稀看到点东西，难道还有人跟老子一样无聊逛来这里？
循声望去，只见两条人影坐在小花园水池旁的凳子上聊天，看不清楚是什么人，不过能肯定是人不是鬼，老冯轻手轻脚的绕到两人背后，心想肯定是组团来游玩的情侣，反正老子也无聊，听听人家说情话也不错啊，说不定还能免费看到一场激情地真人秀呢。
“比大海宽阔的是天空，比天空更宽阔的是人类的胸怀，维克多雨果……”
―
“我们回去吧？”
“再坐一坐啊！呃……列夫托尔斯泰曾经说过……”
“我们能不能回去了？”
“啊？不喜欢外国的？呃……明月几时有，把酒问……”
“问你个头！我要回去了！”
“……”
这两个声音怎么那么熟悉？老冯不禁仔细回想了一番，又看了看那两人的轮廓，确定男人是钟万均那软枪无疑，女的是乔紫嫣，两人不去拍电影怎么跑来这城堡里游玩？难道钟万均已经把乔紫嫣给搞定了，把她带来这里圈圈叉叉？不可能啊，乔紫嫣摆明讨厌钟万均，就凭那小软枪的本事又怎么可能搞定她呢。
“紫嫣，我……”
“钟哥，我跟你说了好多次了，你怎么就是不明白呢，我最后再说一次，我和你以前的那些女朋友不一样，我不喜欢你这种奶油得每天只会咬文嚼字的酸人，在你旁边我感觉不到一点安全感，我喜欢地是……”
“我可以啊，我能文也能武啊，不信我打套咏春给你看看，这是我拍上部电影的时候学的，可不是花拳绣腿，是真功夫，你看！”
钟万均说着便耍了起来，老冯看得暗暗好笑，妈的，这是咏春还是挠痒痒？比花拳绣腿还不如！乔紫嫣可是练过的，这种小胳膊小腿被乔紫嫣一耳光恐怕就能扇到火星去！
看着看着脑袋里突然动了邪念，趁着这夜黑风高外衣一脱把头包住，又扯了两根树枝拿在手中，老冯一个纵身跳到正在“挠痒痒”的钟万均面前，“哗啦”扫动树枝轻涮钟万均的脑袋。
“啊！鬼啊！娘啊！爹啊！小鸡鸡啊！大咪咪啊！”钟万均大叫着抱头狂奔而去，速度堪比火箭，也顾不得乔紫嫣了。
“啊！啊！你……你是谁？”乔紫嫣惊恐的往后退了两步，捏着粉拳紧张的问道，虽然看不清眼前这东西是什么玩意儿，不过肯定是有人在装神弄鬼。
“啊……哈……呃……”老冯嘶哑着嗓子低吟了几声，憋着嗓子哼道，“感谢上帝赐予我这两个丰满的大咪咪，阿门！我马上就去享用！”
老冯说着便朝乔紫嫣奔去，乔紫嫣“咦”了一声：“冯警官？”
啊？老冯突然绊到一根树枝，摔了个大大的狗趴！这也听得出来？
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