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【271】史上最?嗦裁判

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宾席上去了趟厕所“放松”的岳文才刚刚回来,看了开始,点起一支雪茄,笑了笑问旁边的龙啸天:“龙总,你看好哪一边呀?”

龙啸天吐了一口雪茄烟:“我当然也不能免俗,自然是看好巴吞素攀?”

岳文哈哈大笑:“龙总眼光不错,一定赢!”

“我又没买巴吞素攀。龙腾小说ltxs520.com”

“没……没买?那……”

“一赔十,我当然选择冷门了。”龙啸天笑着说道。

“哦,”岳文有些不太自然的笑了笑,“听说擂台上那个警察是贵公子在警校的教官,龙总买他赢,是不是看在贵公子的份上?”

“有一点,”龙啸天颇有些专业的分析道,“不过你也不要小看冯sir,据说他也是一等一的高手,犬子对他很是崇拜啊,很有希有希望。”

“那就但愿龙总多赢一点,多赢一点,哈哈!”岳文皮笑肉不笑的说道,心想一个小警察也值得崇拜,你那儿子果然是个蠢才,那也怪不得老子了,蠢才往往就是要拿来被聪明人利用的。

老冯和巴吞素攀相对而立,随着断背裁判一挥手,巴吞素攀就欲挥拳,却被断背裁判给挡了下来:“我还没说开始,我再给你们讲一次比赛规则,比赛一共十个回合,每个回合打三分钟,招式手段不限,比赛输赢以任何一方被彻底打倒或者打死为最重要的判定,若是没有发生这样的情况,就要根据双方被打倒次数的多少来判断,明白了没有?”看了两人没有异议。断背判断又接着说道,“开始……”

“你干什么?”巴吞素攀地铁拳又被断背裁判给挡了下来,只好及时收回,虽然他不在乎打裁判,但若是打了裁判,根据比赛规则他就算输了,到时候就算打死老冯也没用了,因为岳文找他来的最终目的还是要赢了拳赛而不是打死老冯。

“我话还没说完。你是不是想打裁判啊?”断背裁判理直气壮的呛了呛巴吞素攀,得意的朝老冯眨了眨眼睛,又接着说道,“开始的前五局如果有一方被打倒,那我就要开始数十下,另外一方不得再对倒地的那一方动手,如果我数了十下以后倒地的那一方都不能爬起来,那么另外一方也直接获胜。但是如果我数了十下以后倒地地那一方能够爬起来,那么比赛就继续进行,倒地的那一方就计算上一次倒地……”

面对如此?嗦的裁判,老冯也有些不耐烦了。打断道:“需不需要找张沙发坐着慢慢讲?裁判?”

“不需要,不需要了,谢谢!”断背裁判看着老冯风骚的笑了笑,“很快就讲完了,给他多点时间呼吸这自由的空气嘛,咳咳,那么后面五局如果有一方被打倒,我就不过去数十下了,而是……”

“数一百下!”老冯笑着说道。

“嗯。对,数一百……不对不对,咦……你真坏,逗人家玩!”断背裁判满脸兴奋之色,高兴的说道,“后面五局如果有一方被打倒。我就不过去数十下了,而是任由你们互相继续攻击,也就是说帅哥你打倒了这个人家的儿……不,我儿子的话,可以继续扑上去猛打,甚至是趁他病要他命把他一直给打死都行,这个时候我是不管地,可是你们要记住哦,前五局不可以这样,一定要到了后五局才行哦!”

“但……是……”断背裁判又再一次挡开了巴吞素攀那迫不及待的拳头。继续说道,“你怎么这么着急找死啊,有没有礼貌,跟你说了要我喊开始才能开始,,真是个粗人,还是帅哥你有风度,呵呵,咦?我要说什么来着,我好像忘了我要说什么,这个……”

“等等等等……”断背裁判已经彻底挡在了老冯身前,“想起来了,想起来了,不要着急,还有就是你们在比赛的过程当中不许相互攻击对方地阴部,虽然这场拳赛生死有命,可以使任何招术动用任何手段,但是攻击对方阴部这种行为太过于无耻,是禁止使用的,你甚至是可以戳对方的眼睛,挖对方的鼻孔,捅对方的菊花,咬对方的奶头……都不可以攻击对方的阴部,两位都是代表各自的武馆前来比赛

算得上地武林中人,武林中人讲究的不是功夫的高低他有没有武德,当然,有武德的人是不屑于攻击对手阴部的,而不讲的武德地人呢就专门喜欢攻击对方的阴部……”

“叮……”的一声,第一回合比赛就在这个?嗦裁判还没有?嗦完毕的规则讲解当中结束了,要不是这一钟声响得及时,这个?嗦裁判肯定被巴吞素攀给踢到擂台下面了。

“!搞什么东西!”观众席上传来了一片不满之声,还狗屁精彩的拳赛,第一回合什么都没看到就结束了,只看见选手连同裁判三颗脑袋凑在一块三分钟,我日!

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