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第三百零一章 和孩子她妈一起行动

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第三百零一章和孩子她妈一起行动

我实在很不能理解,为什么大反派们都喜欢呆在阴暗发霉的角落谋划颠覆世界,废旧的工厂里总是很适合爆发黑帮火拼的枪战,血腥的谋杀常常免不了伴随一两声出来打酱油的狗叫,以及——罪恶的交易非要选在人迹罕至的荒郊野外。更多小说ltxs520.com

“这不是很明显的吗?要你是走私犯你会在闹市区摆个地摊举牌子写海洛因大甩卖买一袋送两袋?”

林雪的毒舌还是一如既往地无处不在。

“麻烦你以后鄙视我也不要用这么形象的细节描述好不好……”

“凸显真实,凸显真实哈,”林雪听上去完全没有一点不好意思的样子,“你那边情况怎么样?”

“啥都没有……好吧,我没有怀疑你们的情报水平,不过你确认没有把时间搞错?说实话我觉得你的话现在越来越不可靠……”

“……要不是够不着你现在我早翻脸了!”

中断了和林雪日常拌嘴式的精神连接,我和泡泡继续躺在七千亿里犯困。

这里是远离市区一个废旧石场,人迹罕至,荒凉无比,对比之下,我发现秋天的气息在人员密集的城市里还是受到了阻挠,而在这渺无人烟的荒郊野外,夏天的残余比在城市里败退地还要彻底,枯黄的颜色横扫了整片大地,干枯衰败的杂草在巨大石块间的缝隙中随风摇摆,仿佛将随时破碎成凌乱的夏季残渣,时间已经下午,漫天的火烧云从西边逐渐弥漫过来,让天地间愈发萧瑟。

这样完美的萧萧秋景,假如配上一曲婉转曲折而写意伤感的口哨音乐,那真是太……荒野兵器了……

假如我是个诗人,这时候一定泪流满面。

可惜我不是诗人,而只是一个出来打酱油顺便维护世界和平的国家元首,于是我躺在虽然价值七千亿但看上去比四周的废旧碎石机还要破旧的小破车里仰天打着哈欠,饶有兴致地看着旁边的泡泡睡到口水横流。

“不许抢我的蛋刀……唔嗯……”泡泡翻了个身,一边在座椅上扭来扭去一边含混不清地说着梦话,“那是我要送给夏娜酱的……嗯……混蛋金闪闪,装备控……等会我让孩子她爸毙了你个有子没孙的……嘿……嘿嘿……砸烂你的狗头……炖了你……”

我:“……”

天哪!!这究竟让我从哪里作为吐槽的切入点才好啊混蛋!!!这个死宅到底在睡梦中连接了多少个次元世界呐!话说夏娜拿着蛋刀的样子你认为很好吗?金闪闪是吉尔伽美什吧?那个装备控真是太犀利了……不对!后面那句话才是重点吧!!不是说严禁用孩子她爸来称呼我吗?为什么自从小泡泡管我叫爸爸之后我就在你这里获得了这样一个残念的称号啊!你知不知道这个“孩子她爸”究竟让我的形象扭曲到了一种何等鬼畜的境界!至于最后那两句彪悍的女生慎用的发言你给我收回去啊!

至于你这整整三天通宵玩游戏直到今天才被强行拖出来的小宅女竟然能在梦话中达到这样流利通畅的预言水准这样令人远目的事实,鉴于刚才的吐槽点实在太多,我竟然已经想不出该说什么了……

太可怕了,泡泡这家伙,实在太可怕了,仅仅是一番梦话,竟然就让身为吐槽帝的我因槽点太多而无槽可吐,这样恐怖的战斗力,果然是只有西灵主机才能具备的天赋和实力吗?

而更重要的,身为地球最大暴力组织的首领,我竟然沦落到只能和这样一个顽固到让人牙根发痒而且因为通宵玩游戏结果白天死睡不起的小宅女一起行动……真是太失败了……

原本还以为能拉着珊多拉或者至少浅浅出来呢……但是……世界竟然是如此残酷……

珊多拉抱着成箱的蛋糕表示:“出去欺负小盆友还不如在家接着吃饭有意思呢!”

姐姐大人指着屏幕上“大爱无疆”工作室的logo表示:“工作室终于开始有业务了,姐姐可要盯着呢。”

潘多拉和维斯卡表示相当愿意参加这次有益身心健康而且能和哥哥在一起的行动,但考虑到两个危险分子同时掺和到这样的行动中,一定会在哥哥面前努力表现自己的优秀,为了人类美好的明天和地球的长治久安,两个熊熊燃烧的小萝莉被姐姐大人毫无悬念地拖了回去……

浅浅的意思则是……鉴于上次行动中虐杀敌人之后产生的严重心理阴影,这次她绝对绝对不会跟着过来……

叮当表示她要继续备考那个令人蛋疼的“初级造物证”考试,连带身为“首席女祭司”的莉莉娜也不得不留在世界树神殿中打下手。

剩下的安薇娜、阿赖耶和小泡泡……算了,那两个发光体和一个发光体爱好者不提也罢。

林林总总汇总下来,跟着我出来的竟然只有泡泡一个人,而且这丫头还是被我以“宅类生物必须不定期出来晒太阳否则就会腐化成灰”这样扯淡的理由给强行拖出来的……

好,糟糕的回忆到此为止,现在继续等待敌人自投罗网。

不过我还是坚持认为林雪把时间搞错了——话说按照那丫头提交的情报对方应该在正午时分出现吧?

“还没出现啊……”整整睡了一下午的泡泡终于悠悠醒转,小女孩睁着惺忪的睡眼看了一眼窗外,然后呼地扑在我身上,“孩子她爸,咱们回去吧……”

太泪目了,那个亮闪闪的称号。

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