第十章、天下英雄
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过了正月初五，各关署开衙，所以是宽、陈登就离开是家庄院，启程往郯县去。是宽还把是勋也扯上了，是勋说你们是去拜见长官，就任官职，我一个白身再过去干嘛？是宽的意思，是、曹、麋三家结亲的事情，这回见了陶谦就要定下来，老七你作为当事人之一，最好也去拜见陶谦，致个谢啥的。
是勋满肚子的不耐烦，心说你才知道我是“当事人”啊，那么婚姻大事，你事先问过我这个“当事人”的意见没有？你自己就把主都做了，还要我出面干嘛？
可是没有办法，兄命不可违拗，他也只好跟着跑了趟郯县的州衙。果然陶谦一见面就问这事儿，是宽回答说，老爹是仪已经全都答应了，所拜托的临沂王家不久后就会派人去曹家纳采，请陶谦也赶紧跟麋家说定了亲事。陶谦抚着白胡子连连点头：“我已与麋子仲说过了，过几日直接前往纳采便是——你们的聘礼也要赶紧准备起来啦。”
汉代士人之间商定婚事，主要步骤分别是：议亲—纳采—问名—纳吉—下聘—择期。其中纳采就是男方请人去相看女方，观其容仪，不过一般也就过个形式，除非那姑娘真有什么残疾，或者丑得惊天动地，否则联姻主要看的是门当户对，在“议亲”阶段就都已经考虑完全了。纳采以后，就得问名，也就类似于后世的“配八字”，得算算双方祖上是不是同姓啊（同姓不婚），这桩婚事吉利不吉利啊——不过因为卜者特意要坏你事而声称大不吉的情况很少见，也仅仅是个过场罢了。纳吉就是男方去通知女家，占卜顺利，可以联姻；再然后下聘就得男方给女家送聘礼了。
是、曹、麋三家的婚事，有一州的最高长官陶谦给撑着，前面各种阶段都好过，所以要是家赶紧准备聘礼。
是勋喏喏连声，然后告诉陶谦：“尚有一桩喜事禀报使君，元龙亦与舍妹商议婚事，就等双方家长认可了。”
陶谦大喜：“这是好事啊，我这便寄书与汉瑜，是家与陈家门户登对，请他定要首肯。”他所说的汉瑜，就是指陈登的父亲、前沛相陈珪字汉瑜。
陈登急忙拱手致谢。陶谦又说：“本想双喜，不想可以三喜，不如都尽快的纳采、占卜，确定下来，赶在春季就把婚事办了吧。”
是勋心说你有必要那么着急吗？他明白陶谦想要赶紧的通过撮合是、曹、麋三家联姻，弥合曹宏兄弟和麋竺兄弟之间的矛盾，以免自己死了以后，儿子镇不住场面，导致徐州生乱。可是也不用急在一时啊，难道你这老家伙认为自己连几个月都熬不过去了，这就要挂？
他赶紧跪倒在地，致歉说：“还请三兄和使君原谅，小子尚不敢成亲。”
是宽和陶谦都是一头雾水，问他是什么意思。是勋早就胸有成竹，装模作样抹着眼泪禀报说：“先父辞世未足三年，小子尚在丧期，实实地不敢婚娶啊。”
是宽听了一跺脚：“啊呀，此皆为兄之过也！”
东汉时候士大夫非常讲究孝道，父亲死后要披麻戴孝，守丧三年，三年当中即便按照不那么严格的规定，也是不能婚娶，不能过性生活的，严格一点儿还必须在坟墓前结庐隐居，要缩减饮食，不能参加任何娱乐活动。可是是勋是从乐浪逃出来的，不可能守着“老爹”的坟墓，路上也找不到合适的丧服替换，一直等到了北海是家，是仪跟堂弟氏伊毫无感情，害怕侄子满身丧服的进进出出晦气，就建议说先不必长时间“斩衰”了，服到年根儿下就得，等将来你把父母的灵柩移回老家来，那时候再结庐守丧，才真见孝子的哀思。
一方面是仪是大家长，他说什么就是什么，另方面这是勋不是真的是勋，对氏伊没什么感情，也不愿意连续三年穿丧服，所以当即应允。时间一长，大家伙儿都把这事儿给忘了，尤其是是宽，估计脑子里压根儿就没有这根弦。
就是是勋本人，也得到绞尽脑汁想推诿跟曹家的婚事的时候，才终于想起这碴儿来——要不然当初推辞陶谦的征辟，就可以用这理由了，而不用假装自己有多么的虚心向学。当下把前因后果一说，陶谦就问：“应当何时除服？”是勋回答说：“先父初平元年年终辞世，才刚一年而已。”
陶谦的脸色立刻就沉了下来，转头望向是宽。是宽有点儿手足无措，倒是陈登脑筋转得快，赶紧在旁边打圆场，说：“既然日后再补丧期，则此时定下婚事即可，待两年后再成礼不迟——难道这两年之间，是、曹两家会悔婚不成么？”陶谦点点头：“也只好如此了。”
等到告辞出门，陈登把是勋拉到一旁，避开是宽，直截了当地问他：“宏辅，你是不想娶曹氏女吧？什么缘故？”
是勋闻言一惊，心说不愧是陈元龙，这脑筋转得实在太快啦！
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